What I Would Tell My Pre-Baby Self About PPD

There are so many things I wish I could tell my naive, pre-baby self — like that I didn’t have to be the only one getting up for feeds, that it was OK when my nine-month-old quit nursing, or that offering solids with salt wasn’t a health violation. All of this hindsight falls under one all-encompassing umbrella: postpartum depression (PPD). The massive physical and emotional changes that come with childbirth and parenthood catapulted me into a mental health crisis I didn't even realize I was in. Five years later, here is what I would tell my pre-baby self about PPD.

Hormones Are No Joke

So much of the media I consumed growing up — especially rom-coms and sitcoms — used women’s hormones as a punchline. "She must be on her period!" So, in preparing for childbirth, I didn’t take these so-called hormones as seriously as I should have. Hormones run the body (in men too, by the way). And after creating an entirely new lifeform and then evacuating it, the body is basically possessed. One day I was myself, and the next I was having intrusive thoughts about ninjas scaling my building to steal my baby. This is the work of hormones. But if you don’t know that going in, it’s much harder to recognize.

Milk Supply Can Be A Double-Edged Sword

Most people talk about low milk supply and how that impacts PPD. For me, my ample supply came with some magical hormones that soothed my anxiety while nursing. Sounds good, right? The other side of the coin is that I wouldn’t let anyone else feed the baby — I exclusively nursed because it felt "safer" to me. I was also so overwhelmed (another symptom of PPD) by the sheer logistics of bottle cleaning and pumping that I decided to avoid the whole thing.

New Moms Are Easy Marks For Social Media

At first, Instagram was a salve, offering niche, must-have information. "Ah, so that’s how you nurse and swaddle a baby through Trader Joe’s!" But eventually, the influencers with helpful tips are just creating more problems to solve. And the other influencers in your feed are dressing their babies in perfect, unstained shades of beige for family hikes in the Rockies. Or maybe they’re even getting in 30 minutes on the ol’ Peloton while the baby naps (this one especially sent me over the edge). So, to my pre-baby self: Beware the Instagram sharks. They know you’re vulnerable, tired, and looking for advice. Do not get it here.

You Still Need Community — Even On Your Worst Days

If I could share only one tip with my pre-baby self, it would be this one. Every new mom is struggling in some way, shape, or form. You are not alone. There is not a former new mother out there who doesn’t understand what it’s like to wear the same clothes three days in a row, to have no social drive, or to have spit-up matted in your hair. None of those things disqualify you from joining a new mom community. Thanks to the internet, those communities are plentiful — they can even be completely remote. The point is, you can do this in company and without shame.

You Don’t Have To Have These Feelings

In my darkest moments of PPD, postpartum OCD, and anxiety, I thought I had to have these feelings. (See Fig. 1: Hormones are no joke.) But you don’t.

While you can’t know for certain whether PPD will hit after childbirth, you can be prepared. I would tell my pre-baby self to research at least two clinics or therapists who specialize in postpartum disorders before giving birth. Are they covered by my insurance? If not, what’s the cost? You’ve taken time to design the nursery. Take some time to design your mental health plan.

Presented by BDG Studios