What Postpartum Depression Can Look Like In Moms Who Seem ‘Fine’

After giving birth, it’s common for moms to feel exhausted, stretched thin, and more emotional than usual. The early weeks postpartum are a major adjustment. Between round-the-clock feedings, pediatrician appointments, and learning your newborn’s rhythms, it’s a season that requires a lot — physically and emotionally.

Because so much of this is considered “normal,” it can be easy to overlook when something more serious is going on. When a mom is answering texts, showing up to appointments, and posting smiling photos, she may seem like she’s managing just fine. And when she’s simply tired or teary, we don’t always think postpartum depression (PPD) could be part of the picture.

While not every mom who struggles during the postpartum period is suffering from PPD, it isn’t rare: About 1 in 8 women in the U.S. experience symptoms, and nearly half go undiagnosed. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, founder and director of Comprehend the Mind, breaks down what postpartum depression can look like when it’s less obvious — and how to better identify and support moms who may be suffering quietly.

It’s Not Just Baby Blues

Having a baby reshapes your life in profound ways. In those first days after giving birth, it’s completely normal to feel tired, emotional, and a little overwhelmed as you adjust. This temporary shift is not PPD — it’s called “baby blues,” which typically starts within a few days of delivery and lasts two weeks or less. If a new mother’s feelings of sadness don’t improve after that point, it may signal something more. “Postpartum depression, by definition, is something that lasts longer than two weeks, and it's heavier — darker and more persistent,” says Hafeez.

When Everything Feels Muted

Many moms with PPD are able to go through the motions of new motherhood, which can make it harder for someone to see what’s really going on. It can take a closer look to notice that, beyond being snappy, irritable, or tired, there’s a deeper sadness. Hafeez says this can show up as a loss of interest in things she once enjoyed — pulling away from a partner, not laughing at a joke she normally would, or ignoring a friend’s call. “Having a baby shouldn't switch it off to that extent,” she explains.

She Looks Like She Has It All Together

Even while experiencing PPD, moms often put on a brave face for the outside world. “These days, a lot of moms are posting pictures of the baby or funny memes about how exhausted they are. They’re smiling, they’re hosting, and you can’t tell that they’re really unraveling,” says Hafeez. She explains that in these cases, a woman’s brain may be operating in survival mode. To everyone else, it may look like she’s able to keep things running smoothly, but appearances can be misleading. “That should not be the measure of a healthy, functioning mom,” says Hafeez.

If You’re Not Sure You’re “Fine”

For moms who are wondering whether what they’re feeling is more than exhaustion, Hafeez suggests starting with the people they already see regularly. In the early months, that often includes your baby’s pediatrician.

“A baby has a lot of routine visits with the pediatrician,” she says. If something feels off, you can bring it up at one of those appointments — even if it feels small or hard to put into words. Pediatricians are trained to recognize postpartum mood concerns and can help connect you with support.

PPD is one of the most treatable forms of depression. Interpersonal therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are highly effective options. The most important step is giving yourself permission to talk about what you’re experiencing.

“The majority of people going through postpartum depression are not seeking help,” says Hafeez. That doesn’t mean help isn’t available. If you’ve been pushing through, minimizing your feelings, or convincing yourself you’re “fine,” you deserve support just as much as anyone else.

Sometimes the moms who seem fine are the ones carrying the most — and sometimes all it takes is asking yourself honestly how you’re really doing.

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