11 Things Dads Say on the Playground (And What They Really Mean)

1. They say: “Your guy looks about my kid’s age—21 months.” They mean: “I am here with a child and not randomly lurking behind the slide.”

2. They say: “Oh, my wife and I go there all the time.” They mean: “I am married and not going to ask for your number.”

3. They say: “Hey, is that a fighter jet?” They mean: “I am not looking at you breastfeeding.”

4. They say: “Yes, I do have a wipe you can borrow.” They mean: ‘Tee hee, I am prepared, contrary to stereotypes—even better than you are, evidently.”

5. They say: “Oh, that was a rough age. I remember that sleep regression.” They mean: “I am not a lazy bum and actually get up with my kids at night.”

6. They say: “What daycare does your kid attend?” They mean: “I am not assuming you are a stay-at-home mom.”

7. They say: “Do you want to use one of our toys?” They mean: “Please deal with your kid menacing my kid.”

8. They say: “I try to fit in work during naps and in the evenings.” They mean: “I understand you’re struggling with the work-life balance too.”

9. They say: “Maybe the president’s in town.” They mean: “I’m still not looking at you breastfeeding.”

10. They say: “Do want to share our snack?” They mean: “Your kid is looming over my kid’s cheese stick in a really creepy way.”

11. They say: “Our kids seem to play well together. Can I get your number?” They mean: “OK, I guess I am going to ask for your number, because, like you, I am desperate for human connection.”