15 Buzzwords for the Pseudo-Crunchy Mom

little-baby-teeth

Some women intend to be crunchy-mommas, while others just fall into it because it works. I find myself in the latter category. If you’re like me, you nod your head when other parents use certain buzzwords, but for an entirely different reason than a truly crunchy mom would:

1. Baby wearing: You’re too lazy to set up the double stroller, so you put your toddler in the umbrella push-chair, cram your baby into a Bjorn and call it a day.

2. Baby-led weaning: You can’t be bothered to purée vegetables.

3. Co-sleeping: You won’t train the younger baby to sleep on her own because your two-year-old is easily disturbed by noise and wouldn’t tolerate cry-it-out from his sister.

4. Sensory box: A giant tupperware filled with dried foods that seemed like a great idea on Pinterest. Rogue lentils from said box will hide themselves in the nooks and crannies of your home until the nuclear apocalypse, wherein they’ll be the foodstuffs for cockroaches long after the human race ceases to exist.

5. Water table: Actually a bird bath that came with your house.

6. Extended breast feeding: Baby has created a wicked sleep association with your nipples…see #3.

7. Free play: It is raining. They’ve already watched more TV than you want to admit. Let’s see what they can do with the tubing from your breast pump, a funnel, and an old calculator.

8. Child-led play: Aka “mommy doesn’t feel like entertaining you right now”.

9. Recycling: Hand-me-downs are the only way to keep your children clothed since every gift you got was for a 0-3 month-old infant and your gigantic sumo-babies outgrew them the day after you came home from the hospital. So what if your little girl’s shirt sports a green dump truck? She’s only going to cover it with food anyway…see #2.

10. Instagram: A site where you post pictures of your toddler’s avocado/blueberry/free-range-egg breakfast, but not his shortbread/juicebox/leftover-pizza lunch.

11. Home preschool co-op: Really a glorified playgroup and the only time you interact with other adults. Someone’s kid is always screaming. You feel superior when it is not yours (must have been those breakfast blueberries), and you make up excuses when it is (“Timmy is teething”, “June has separation anxiety”).

12. Natural immunity-building: Yep, your 6-month-old just found a cheerio on the floor. The microbes are good for her, even if the refined-carb-gluten-ridden-franken-food isn’t.

13. Demand feeding: She’s crying? Give her the boob. The boob has magical powers.

14. Repurposing: You forgot to throw away that last Amazon box and now your toddler thinks it is a toy.

15. Cloth-diapering: You know what? Those real crunchies can have cloth diapering all to themselves.

Next time a hippie supermom invites you to a chicken pox party, or gives you a kumbacha starter, you can smile with dignity, knowing you’re not the only pseudo-crunchy mom out there.

About the writer

Crystal Lowery is an American mom living in Scotland. By day she does medical research in cardiac imaging, by night she wrangles a 9-month-old girl and a 2-year-old boy. You can find her over at http://creepygingerkid.blogspot.co.ukwriting about misadventures in medicine, motherhood, and her awkward childhood. If you like to laugh, follow her on Facebook.

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Kel 3 months ago

And of course we should definitely take your word for it over the word of scientists. After all, you’ve probably done “extensive research”, i.e., watched some YouTube videos.

sam 4 months ago

we fell into cloth diapers because they were just easier. and cheaper. People have the impression I’m a mega crunchy mum but I’m probably just lazy – ie co-sleeping. One of my kids eats junk, and the other doesn’t have teeth yet!

Cricket 4 months ago

Most that was like another world to me. I have a seven year old boy, he has short bowel syndrome along some other problems. I’ve been isolated so long that apparently I’m missing things. But why have a chicken pox party? I know my family did something similar when I was little but have you ever known somebody who has had shingles? Not sure it’s worth it, also what in the world is Ku… Shit forgot how to spell it you know what’s it’s probably not important. If my son manages half the food groups for the day (always excluding fruit cause it really hurts him) and has somehow been bathed I’m happy. I feel like an under achiever now! Lol

Kimbotron 4 months ago

Will you be my friend? Because we feel the exact same. I am a “crunchy” mom according to these damn stereotypes but really I am a lazy (hence the baby led weaning), cheap (hence the cloth diapering), and a believer in SCIENCE hence the need to vaccinate!!

Kylie 9 months ago

As the Aunt of a child who suffered congenital Rubella syndrome, I highly recommend you read this. Some women like my sister had previously had perfect levels of protection less then 12 months prior to pregnancy but at the point of contact with an un-vaccinated 7 year old with rubella in a doctors surgery waiting room (while waiting for a maternity health check) she contracted rubella. Her son was born deaf, with serious brain damage and fluid on the brain, he has severe intellectual impairment and a life which his mother had never wished upon him. Your choices do affect others. She had been tested prior to conceiving and did not require a booster.

Rubella is a viral illness that causes a skin rash and joint pain. For most people, a rubella infection is mild, but it is very dangerous in pregnant women. Rubella can cause death or birth defects in an unborn baby (foetus). Sometimes, rubella is still referred to as German measles. In Victoria, free immunisation against rubella is available for children and for women who are not immune and are planning a pregnancy (or have just given birth).

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Rubella

Kylie 9 months ago

As the Aunt of a child who suffered congenital Rubella syndrome, I highly recommend you read this. Some women like my sister had previously had perfect levels of protection less then 12 months prior to pregnancy but at the point of contact with an un-vaccinated 7 year old with rubella in a doctors surgery waiting room (while waiting for a maternity health check) she contracted rubella. Her son was born deaf, with serious brain damage and fluid on the brain, he has severe intellectual impairment and a life which his mother had never wished upon him. Your choices do affect others. She had been tested prior to conceiving and did not require a booster.

Rubella is a viral illness that causes a skin rash and joint pain. For most people, a rubella infection is mild, but it is very dangerous in pregnant women. Rubella can cause death or birth defects in an unborn baby (foetus). Sometimes, rubella is still referred to as German measles. In Victoria, free immunisation against rubella is available for children and for women who are not immune and are planning a pregnancy (or have just given birth).

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Rubella
– See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/15-buzzwords-pseudo-crunchy-mom/#comment-921760

Kylie 9 months ago

As the Aunt of a child who suffered congenital Rubella syndrome, I highly recommend you read this. Some women like my sister had previously had perfect levels of protection less then 12 months prior to pregnancy but at the point of contact with an un-vaccinated 7 year old with rubella in a doctors surgery waiting room (while waiting for a maternity health check) she contracted rubella. Her son was born deaf, with serious brain damage and fluid on the brain, he has severe intellectual impairment and a life which his mother had never wished upon him. Your choices do affect others. She had been tested prior to conceiving and did not require a booster.

Rubella is a viral illness that causes a skin rash and joint pain. For most people, a rubella infection is mild, but it is very dangerous in pregnant women. Rubella can cause death or birth defects in an unborn baby (foetus). Sometimes, rubella is still referred to as German measles. In Victoria, free immunisation against rubella is available for children and for women who are not immune and are planning a pregnancy (or have just given birth).

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Rubella
– See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/15-buzzwords-pseudo-crunchy-mom/#comment-921760

Kylie 9 months ago

As the Aunt of a child who suffered congenital Rubella syndrome, I highly recommend you read this. Some women like my sister had previously had perfect levels of protection less then 12 months prior to pregnancy but at the point of contact with an un-vaccinated 7 year old with rubella in a doctors surgery waiting room (while waiting for a maternity health check) she contracted rubella. Her son was born deaf, with serious brain damage and fluid on the brain, he has severe intellectual impairment and a life which his mother had never wished upon him. Your choices do affect others. She had been tested prior to conceiving and did not require a booster.

Rubella is a viral illness that causes a skin rash and joint pain. For most people, a rubella infection is mild, but it is very dangerous in pregnant women. Rubella can cause death or birth defects in an unborn baby (foetus). Sometimes, rubella is still referred to as German measles. In Victoria, free immunisation against rubella is available for children and for women who are not immune and are planning a pregnancy (or have just given birth).

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Rubella

Danika 9 months ago

How does vaccinating your children against preventable diseases maje you uneducated?

April 9 months ago

I caught a pretty bad case of measles when I was younger. I was vaccinated, but apparently I was one of the lucky ones it didn’t work for. One of my un-vaccinated classmates had passed it onto me, making me very sick in the process.
Vaccinate your kids… Not only for your own children’s safety, but the safety of others.

Angusmummy 1 year ago

Tell your cousin to have a chat with an Australian. We’ll tell her all about how the sun can give you cancer. Google melanoma for a start! Those poor kids.

Irene 1 year ago

and some kids will still get the flu even after being vaccinated so…

Fae Morgan 1 year ago

It’s where someone’s kid has chicken pox and you bring a bunch of kids over for a party or sleep over to give it to the other kids. It’s basically a party to give your kids chicken pox.

Fae Morgan 1 year ago

Yeah, this right here would so make me not even. Plus the picture I found of it just looks disgusting. lol Although kombucha is claimed to have several beneficial effects on health, these claims are not supported by scientific evidence. Drinking kombucha has been linked, in rare cases, to serious side effects and deaths, and improper preparation can lead to contamination

Charlotte Preci 1 year ago

Cloth diapering-I used my last diaper and would rather wrap my baby in a towel than bring all my kids to the store with me.

Rachel Williams 1 year ago

What in the heck is a chicken pox party??!!

Sarah Elizabeth 1 year ago

How did this turn into story time?

Carly Bonderud 1 year ago

I fell into some of this stuff because I’m lazy. Chose to breastfeed because I hate washing dishes so what makes anyone think I wanted to wash bottles. Lol. Coslept because having the baby monitor on kept me awake whereas having my son beside me in his cosleeper meant I could sleep easier. Also made night nursing easier. I nurse my toddler because it’s easier to get him to sleep that way AND because the constant night nursing has kept my period away. I haven’t seen that bitch in 2 years and if I can make it 3 years then why not? At least by then my son will be old enough to understand that one week out of every month mommy puts on the Disney movies and netflix and we just watch cartoons because she doesn’t feel good. But right now, at 15 months, forget it. But no, real crunchy moms can keep the cloth diapers. I’m happy with Huggies ;p

AnneMarie 1 year ago

Yes, it IS my business as to whether or not someone vaccinates their children. As someone who works with immunosuppressed children who, for various medical reasons CANNOT have vaccines, a child who has not been vaccinated and comes in contact with said immunosuppressed child greatly increases the risk that the immunosuppressed child will contract an illness that they cannot fight effectively. I have known immunosuppressed children who have missed over a month of school due to contracting the flu from non-vaccinated children. So yes, it is my business if your child has not been vaccinated. Your child is not an island so please respect the health of those around you.

Kristi 1 year ago

Actually, the vaccines are becoming less effective because the diseases they’re designed to prevent are mutating. Has nothing to do with herd immunity or people choosing not to vaccinate their children.

Kristi 1 year ago

And you’re uneducated, so I guess it pans out.

Allie 1 year ago

Nope. Due to people skipping vaccinations rather than being something like 99% effective vaccinations like whopping cough are I believe only 80% effective. So someone’s choice not to vaccinate can hurt other peoples children not just their own child.

Beth 1 year ago

SO that’s why I’ve been called a ‘crunchy mom’! I always said I was a lazy mom…taught my kids to do stuff for themselves so I wouldn’t have to (ok, so knowing fully well that they needed those skills and plenty of practice in order to be fully functioning members of society-which they are). I breastfed because when I was 6 I was washing my baby sister’s baby bottles and thought “there must be a better way to feed babies”. I wore them because it was easier than rocking them & I got stuff done. They also learned that they weren’t the centre of the universe.

Elaina Hauk Carlisle 1 year ago

Totally with this until it drifted to judge-y a-hole territory at the end there. You do you, let other people do them and just say no thank you.

Patty Leming 1 year ago

Ha! That’s were I put my crunchy foot down, too!

Kristin 1 year ago

I has no idea I was “pseudo-crunchy” until I read this article. Yay, me! Lol

Tammy Elizabeth 1 year ago

I’m what they call an accidental pseudo-crunchy mama. My daughter was high needs and absolutely refused a bottle of pumped milk, so she was glued to me for a year (I did wean at 13 months, though). She screamed bloody murder if I placed her in a bouncer to try and do a dish or two, so baby wearing it was! Of course along the way I realized it was an okay way to go!

Sam Faith 1 year ago

#15 hahaha

Laurie Laine Coleman 1 year ago

I had to google “crunchy mom”. I didn’t learn about that on Peppa Pig, yet. LoL

Tara Leigh Pipe 1 year ago

I don’t need a label to tell me what type of mother I am, I’m just trying to raise my child the way I choose is right, not needing anyone else’s approval or judgement of my choices, thank you very much. (Ps she is vaccinated)

Denise Ray Zavaleta 1 year ago

I’m bordering on Crunchy Mom! Wow.

Deandra Alotia 1 year ago

It’s none of your business whether she vaccinates or not!

Laura Silver 1 year ago

Yup

Kyrsten Suzanne Shapiro 1 year ago

Nailed it

Katherine 1 year ago

I am just going to keep posting this, because it scares me that you sweet ladies don’t know this.

Some vaccines do offer a lifetime of protection to most people. Some need boosters. No vaccine is 100 % effective without the herd being vaccinated. Being unvaccinated is a threat to the people around you. This isn’t a judgement, or a put-down. You can still choose not to vaccinate. But make that choice knowing that you put your own family and all the people you interact with at risk.

Katherine 1 year ago

I am just going to keep posting this, because it scares me that you sweet ladies don’t know this.

Some vaccines do offer a lifetime of protection to most people. Some need boosters. No vaccine is 100 % effective without the herd being vaccinated. Being unvaccinated is a threat to the people around you. This isn’t a judgement, or a put-down. You can still choose not to vaccinate. But make that choice knowing that you put your own family and all the people you interact with at risk.

Katherine 1 year ago

Some vaccines do offer a lifetime of protection to most people. Some need boosters. No vaccine is 100 % effective without the herd being vaccinated. Being unvaccinated is a threat to the people around you. This isn’t a judgement, or a put-down. You can still choose not to vaccinate. But make that choice knowing that you put your own family and all the people you interact with at risk.

Katherine 1 year ago

Nope. Just because your child is vaccinated does not mean she will 100% not get sick if exposed. Most kids are mostly covered and if ALL kids are vaccinated then that “mostly” times “mostly” becomes safe. Enter a sick kid and “mostly” times “mostly” becomes “a few more sick kids”.

Anita Allen 1 year ago

Time allowed to nurse my middle child for 8 mo. He went straight from the breast to a cup……….that was 33 yrs ago. I was good with it all.

Raymond Uribe 1 year ago

What the hell is a crunchy mom?

Jen McCall 1 year ago

As if this is true…

Harriet 1 year ago

OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE will you stupid people ever stop referring to your 2 YEAR OLD as ’24 months’….? It’s moronic!!!!!!!!

Heather 1 year ago

I wanted to cloth diaper, but when I realized daycares wouldn’t use cloth diapers I worked out the start-up cost of cloth and then having to switch to disposables once the kid was in daycare at 12 months and it didn’t make much sense for us. I’m still mostly bummed, but like you I did the “wine calculation” and picked the option in my boozy favour.

Ludmilla Banks 1 year ago

Mothers, especially crunchy pretentious ones, have no sense of humor. I’m far from crunchy. Hell, I’m yogurt

Alice 1 year ago

Any parent who uses the “your unvaccinated kid could get my vaccinated kid sick” argument better get his/her ass to the doctors and have his/her boosters ASAP. The only thing that gives you lifelong immunity is actually getting the disease.

Vaccinations are said to only last 7 or so years. So sorry. By your own logic, you’re just as big of a “threat” to your own kid.

Melissa Foerster 1 year ago

Colorado has so many crunchy moms and I’m not one of them. I have crunchy intentions though. This post was great! A little humor in a mommy’s day is always welcome.

Vikki Lauren 1 year ago

Lol at #10!

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

I think I’m a Chewy with a bit of crunch mom. Breast feed, make baby food, disposable diapers, own room by 6m, baby wear. I like to mix it up 😉

Rachel King 1 year ago

I am a pseudo crunchy Mom, and proud of it!

Scary Mommy 1 year ago

HUMOR, people. Jeesh!

Kylie 1 year ago

I do them all! Cloth diapers save money! (My dd is allergic to disposables) baby led weaning (after a week I was so over blending) ergo all the way (strollers are heavy!). Being lazy has turned out to be a good thing! Lol

fakemartinisandfailure 1 year ago

I cloth diaper because it’s cheaper than spending $40+/ month at Costco to get diapers in bulk. I still get disposables for when I am out and about w/ the runt and for when she goes to bed. I guess bowel movements don’t bother me.

lesbomom 1 year ago

I was totally a crunchy mom. Not pseudo-anything…but I still want to be friends with you because this post was hilarious. But seriously – I was a single mom with an infant who didn’t love sleeping….so a lot of things I did for my own sanity. :)

nuru 1 year ago

I too am ‘crunchier’ then I thought; DS stopped eating puree anything at about 9-10m when he went to daycare and saw the other kids eating ‘real’ food. We co-sleep but for other reasons, 9 & 14 are money savers and 12 is because he’ll be fine! 7&8 my toddler loves to open the cupboards (the ones with nothing dangerous in them) and pull out the pot lids and cookie sheets next thing you know a pot lids is a car and the pots make good drums

Audrey 1 year ago

Me neither!!!

Jessica Farrell 1 year ago

I was wondering that, too!

Chelsea White 1 year ago

Okay all I was saying is let moms do what they feel is right. I’m all for vaccinations if somehow you read over that and I think it’s terrible it compromises other children but I’m not going to start mommy wars with my friends or even moms I’m aquatinted with over it. It’s not worth it to me. It sucks children are getting sick with these crazy diseases again and that children with low immune systems are more subsetable to getting sick but just like they can’t tell us to not vaccinate we can’t tell them to vaccinate especially if everyone has done their research and feels comfortable with their decisions.

Angie O’Neill 1 year ago

What in the hell is a chicken pox party???

Megan Tran 1 year ago

No, you were just using an inferior carrier.

Megan Tran 1 year ago

When and why did this become all about your views on vaccinations? Also, cloth diapering does not make you crunchy. Plenty of moms who shop at Wal-Mart and eat fast food cloth diaper.

Amber 1 year ago

also I have 1 all in one cloth diaper, it’s super cute but it’s just so bulky that I’ve only used a couple of times.

mel 1 year ago

Yes, this is me, all but cloth diapering, that was so easy and I can only imagine how much we saved over the nearly theee years my son was in diapers.

Amber 1 year ago

this is totally me except the instagram part is facebook and there is no playgroup. #6- my 19 month old is still breastfed (nursing this very moment actually) because see #3

Kris Murdoch 1 year ago

Isn’t that how everyone does laundry? 😉

Christina Clift Mikhail 1 year ago

I started cloth on my third kid. So I’m in NO way judging. But going to cloth actually helped me with my laundry because it got me on a better routine. Previously, I sort of forgot about stuff until we ran out of something or the hampers overflowed. Ha ha.

Summer Rigazio 1 year ago

Herd immunity; google it.

Christina Clift Mikhail 1 year ago

Lol. 30.

Christina Clift Mikhail 1 year ago

I guess I was fake baby-wearing all those times I put my boys in a Bjorn.

Misty Vance Gadberry 1 year ago

#10 :-)

Janelle Norman 1 year ago

So excited to see you on Scary Mommy! As I was reading the post, I kept thinking I had seen it somewhere before. Then I got to the bottom and saw your name and it clicked! Awesome!

Rebecca Pordes Martin 1 year ago

Not on Instagram, but. #10- hilarious!

Regina 1 year ago

I’m with Jess. I cloth diaper after having had a “Groundhog Day”-esque breakdown in the middle of the diaper aisle because I felt like I had just been there the day before and was going to have to return again two days later.
Hadn’t thought of the wine money…

Danielle 1 year ago

Wow I must be crunchier than I thought because I noticed “kombucha” was misspelled. I’ll just head over to this corner with my head down…

Bianca Rodriguez 1 year ago

Whats a “crunchy mom”?

Cindi Seamster Bisenius 1 year ago

That’s funny

Hannah Fabiani 1 year ago

That’s what I was just saying lol! FINALLY there’s a term for us ;D

Crystal Stanczak Lowery 1 year ago

Oh hey girls. I wrote this…not to start a mommy war about vaccinations, but because I like to laugh. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. And if you like to laugh too, follow https://www.facebook.com/CreepyGingerKid God bless!

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

I’m definitely not a crunchy mom, but I would totally baby wear.

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, shit like that. Thanks to the moms who don’t vaccinate for letting it come back.

Alexis Panopoulos Roman 1 year ago

I love it so much.

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

Proud vaccinating mama right here. Don’t care what anyone says. This is why diseases have been on the rise than haven’t been around since i was a child or earlier!!!

Nicole Woods-Sisk 1 year ago

Oh hell no… If it makes me lazy to make not make crunchy”‘lifestyle, so be it! That’s like hairy armpits and no deodorant! LOL

Koral Whitney 1 year ago

Oh god I had ONE cloth diaper, just to try it. We used it once and by the time I got around to washing it, let’s just say there may or may not have been a who colony living in the mold… Ewww…

Nicole Woods-Sisk 1 year ago

I really do not understand how people cannot get their children vaccinated? Why take that risk? Just because idiot Jenny McCarthy said it was bad and then years later “oh, my bad… I was wrong!”
Day cares and schools where I live will NOT take your child if they are not up to date with vaccinations, as well as every doctors office I toured when i was preggers with my first. I was 13 when i got chickenpox from the kids I babysat… Bunch of my friend came over to get it too, only my brother got them, he was 17 & it was BAD! I think I was past the contagious phase when my friends came to visit.

Jennifer Moreno 1 year ago

I love being crunchy and don’t mind at all if others are soupy, chewy or solid. It works for us and it’s the thing I’m most proud of. Embrace your texture!

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

I don’t care what religion you are, how much money you make or the color of your skin. What I do care about is how respectful and kind you and your children are.

Hannah Fabiani 1 year ago

I hear ya. I think this is one issue where pseudo-crunchy moms and crunchy moms differentiate. At least that’s what I’ve experienced in my mom social life, I’m so happy someone finally invented a term for me :):) yes I breastfeed, but I also vaccinate on schedule. Yes I wanted a water birth at home when I was low risk, but the second I became high risk I went to the hospital gladly.

Krissy Pushing 1 year ago

Apparently I’m fully crunchy since I cloth diaper

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

My children have tons of friends and we associate with people of all walks of life. However I am very careful of the kind of families I let my children associate with. I sent my children to public school for one year and the words, mannerism or lack of manners and attitudes they were picking up didn’t sit well with me. I now homeschool and it gives me the opportunity to know the families of my kids friends better. My kids friendship circle has gotten much smaller but they still have friends, but the friends they do have come from families with respectful parents and kids.

Hannah Fabiani 1 year ago

Pseudo-crunchy moms unite lol!

Karen Smith 1 year ago

Severe postpartum depression uncrunched the heck out of me. Formula, no baby-wearing, Pampers, baby food in jars and zero bond. Yet, at age 7, my kiddo is healthy and happy. It all works in the end. (Did do vaccines, tho )

Katie Bhargava 1 year ago

Haha. These articles crack me up and keep me smiling. Enough truth to hit home and enough humor to keep me in a good mood!! Keep it up!!
**other Mommas — please keep it friendly, we are all doing our best and entitled to our own opinions.**

Kim Nealis 1 year ago

Away from mainstream society ?? Ur kids don’t mix with kids that aren’t the same as yours ??

Nicole Vogel 1 year ago

Roseann Gore Bronston we “repurposed” your toothbrush holder into a bath toy… I’ll buy you another.

Jolene Stensland 1 year ago

This is so me! Lol

Chelsea Mollison 1 year ago

Haha I never thought about my parenting style as lazy, but I guess it could be true! And the boob does solve everything!!

Krystle Marie 1 year ago

I’m a proud hippie mama.

Nicole Vogel 1 year ago

Are water tables a crunchy thing?

Kim Borden 1 year ago

I’m severely allergic to certain vaccines & am also immunocompromised. We still chose to vaccine our children to protect them against things I wasn’t able to.

Jenn Dredhart 1 year ago

No vaccine is 100% effective. There will always be some people who are not immune, even though they have had their shots. This small minority will be protected as long as people around them are immunized. This is why the “if your child is vaccinated then why are you afraid of my anvaxxed kid” argument is dangerous. Not to mention that these parents are insane for risking their own child’s lives by not vaccinating. It’s simply irresponsible to not vaccinate, and any parent whose child dies of a preventable disease should be charged with child murder. I’m all for being crunchy but when you are risking your own child’s and other people’s lives, you are just insane.

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

And there is no “hippie check list” that I am aware of. I do what feels right for our family.

Kara Salacki 1 year ago

I think it’s more poking fun at the opposite.. I “baby wear” only when I don’t want to pull the stroller out, just as they say.. And I am guilty of giving my kids food that’s not the best and those pictures never seem to go on social media lol.

Heather Paish 1 year ago

This sounds like me. Yes most of my parenting falls into the “ap, evolutionary parentig styles” aka im really lazy.

Kelley Ponto 1 year ago

My son was in the niccu and a non vaxx family’s dad entered the nicu 5x (lying on the intake form) that he didn’t have chicken pox when he did and exposed 65 poor little babies including my son those babies didn’t have a choice and had no immunity against this bc of this mans choice to not protect himself or family..

Nikki Brown Webb 1 year ago

Yes. Yes to every single definition. Too funny.

Kara Salacki 1 year ago

This is complete BS. and quite frankly just stupid.

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

I think labels are silly personally. I’m a mom.;) No added labels needed.

Jenn Dredhart 1 year ago

no vaccine is 100% effective. There will always be some people who are not immune, even though they have had their shots. This small minority will be protected as long as people around them are immunized.

Kris Murdoch 1 year ago

The sun doesn’t cause skin cancer? Wtf?! The more one is burned before age 18, the higher the risk of melanoma!!

Marnie Cormier 1 year ago

I think it’s making fun of the labels??

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

One thing, I’m not worried about moms who don’t vaccinate around my children. I’m not. What I am worried about is parents on the road who text/call while driving putting millions of families at risk every day. I worry about our education system not preparing children with the tools they need to compete on a global scale. I worried about parents who are to absorbed in their life to teach their kids basic skills like kindness and compassion. Those are my worries.

Kara Salacki 1 year ago

What about your kid not being vaccinated, who goes to school with my older vaccinated child but then my child acts as a carrier to my youngest who is not old enough to be vaccinated yet? It’s not that simple. Quit being stupid and vaccinate your kids. There are a million doctors who say to do it, there was ONE who said you shouldn’t, and that person has since lost their license to practice and all validity… VACCINATE. I don’t care if you breast feed til your kid is a teenager, or formula feed since birth without trying to breast feed, I don’t care if you co sleep until they’re 20 but VACCINATE YOUR DAMN KIDS!

Kris Murdoch 1 year ago

#13 all the way! And #15. I can’t keep up with the laundry I already have, let alone adding diapers to the pile.

Marnie Cormier 1 year ago

Ugh I hate that arguement!!! It truly shows that zero education or research has been done. The unvax credibility goes right out the window with that arguement.

Lauren M Stanley 1 year ago

Coconut oil only has an SPF of like 5! So ten min. Sure but hours at a festival that’s crazy. It’s not enough protection.

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

We really need to stop the mom wars, scantimoms, and name calling for those who do things different from you. Instead of name calling and jumping on the “You hippies are crazy” bandwagon. Go chat with some of these so called hippie families. They are some of the most down to earth caring people I have met. Some are more extreme then others but they are sweet people. I say focus on raising your family the best you can, love your children, teach them kindness. If you do this, I won’t have time to put other parents under a microscope.

Stephanie French Mansfield 1 year ago

You choosing not to vaccinate your children only works because I vaccinate mine.

Christina Edwards 1 year ago

To explain a little further on the objection to “no vaccine” – the vaccinated children aren’t what ppl worry about. It’s the infants who haven’t been vaccinated yet and people with weak immune systems. No, I’m not saying which is right or wrong, just explaining why a lot of moms disagree with “no vaccine”

Marlo Duffy 1 year ago

Chelsea, you should look up herd immunity. Not vaccinating puts everyone at risk. And some kids don’t have a choice. Immuno-suppressed children and children with allergies don’t choose not to get vaccinated. They can’t. Those are the kids put at risk.

Marnie Cormier 1 year ago

Actually this isn’t an issue where we should just let mom’s do what they feel is right. People who any get vaccinated need herd immunity.

Kari Moore 1 year ago

I have no idea what a “crunchy mom” is.

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

I wish it were that simple, Talia.

Rachael Willard 1 year ago

We do everything I that list, so yea I am crunchy, but Idc what other moms decide to do. This is what I’ve(and my hubby) decided is best for our family. Everyone just has to do what is best for them.

Karly Clevett 1 year ago

Pretty much all of the above are me.

Beth Wankel 1 year ago

Ha!

Ashlee BirthDoula Schraeder 1 year ago

I guess I’m a real crunchy for cloth diapering. Lol

Christina Edwards 1 year ago

I don’t think it’s crazy; I just hate seeing a child with sunburn. She takes her kids to festivals and such for hours in the hot sun. She claims she uses coconut oil, but her 3 fair-skinned kids (all under age 4) are ALWAYS burned, itching and in pretty obvious discomfort. I sent her an article about how sunburns increase the chance of skin cancer and she flat-out said “The sun doesn’t cause skin cancer” … I gave up at that point … lol.

Amanda Knippshild 1 year ago

LOL Love this. I hope crunch moms aren’t taking this too seriously, it seems a little “tongue and cheek”. I am only 6 out of 15 crunchy….would have been 8 but my LO didn’t like to be worn and I wasn’t able to breastfeed more than a few weeks. C’est la vie.

Talia Suglio 1 year ago

That’s a choice of hers. If a child is unvaccinated why would a parent of a vaccinated child not want them around? If your child is vaccinated your child should be fine, right?! I think as mothers and women we shouldn’t look down on others because someone else has a different view on things. Just my opinion.

Kara Salacki 1 year ago

Around here you have to take your kids vaccination records each year before school!

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

Simply put, if most people in the US do it, then crunchy is the opposite.

Sarah 1 year ago

you are hysterical. can we be besties? we can be pseudo-crunchy together!!!

Jess 1 year ago

I cloth diaper not because I think it is better for my kids or because I care about the environment, but because I’m cheap. After 10-ish uses, my cloth diapers pay for themselves in money I don’t spend on disposables. That’s wine money right there.

Rebecca Anne 1 year ago

What about kids with compromised immune systems? What about kids who need delayed vaccinations? They depend on the strength of others getting vaccinated.

Kara Salacki 1 year ago

No sunscreen?! I can understand if you use the “all shade, no sun” method but hopefully they don’t get melanoma!

Amanda Knippshild 1 year ago

With you on the vaccines. First world problems for sure, but we are free to make our own decisions. I know it’s something that is being debated (at least in my local) for public schools not allowing unvaccinated kids. Perhaps though the parents that don’t are also more likely to homeschool which is completely a choice. Hopefully there little sweeties remain healthy.

Jenelle W. 1 year ago

This is me. Exactly. Right down to the cloth diapers. No desire. Mayb

Venus Alfante 1 year ago

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” thank you Google!
― Steve Maraboli,

Chelsea White 1 year ago

We vaccinate too but if my kid is vaccinated then they are okay and protected! It’s the ones who choose not to that are at risk. I’ve had to learn to just let mamas do what they feel is right and not judge them. It’s their own risk they are taking but I totally agree with you and vaccinations.

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

I’m very crunchy and my kids get sun 10 minutes a day without it but afterwards we use Virgin coconut oil and badger balm. My kiddos are very pale and will burn. Coconut oil works as a natural sun protector with no chemicals. But like I said before, to each their own. People think I’m crazy for the way I raise my kiddos.

Jade Zetterberg 1 year ago

That lady just said she doesn’t vaccinate her kids. Did you not read all the comments??

Sarah Christian 1 year ago

this made me LOL. well done. i feel we should be besties.

Jennifer Shalen Callahan 1 year ago

Crunchy mom does NOT mean no vaccines

Christina Edwards 1 year ago

I say to each his/her own. Parents do what they feel is right for their kids. I’m by no means a “crunchy” mom, but that’s just what I feel is best for my kids. As long as “crunchies” don’t criticize my parenting style and turn into a “preaching crunchy,” all’s good with me. The only thing I don’t understand is the no sunscreen practice. My cousin does this and has sunburnt kids all the time. Drives me NUTS!

Amanda Brady 1 year ago

I think breastfeeding a child till they’re 30 is ridiculous but its your child and your business.

Suzanne Grunhard 1 year ago

I’m not at all ‘crunchy’ but if vaccines work so well, then your vaccinated kids will be fine and you don’t need to worry about the other kids.

Chelsea White 1 year ago

Except the true baby wearing moms don’t wear crotch dangling bjorns! :) we wrap, wear slings or wear hip friendly carriers :)

Amber Cochran Denoux 1 year ago

We’ve done ALL but 4, 5 and 15. I guess im kind of crunchy….

Anika Stenkamp 1 year ago

I’m a mix between apparently. lol

Jade Zetterberg 1 year ago

No vaccines?? You’re insane. You’re kids shouldn’t be allowed around other kids until you vaccinate them!

Sarah Louise Christiansen Masten 1 year ago

So true.

Rhiannan Green Caraway 1 year ago

Be as crunchy as you’d like but PLEASE vaccinate your children for the sake of mine and everyone else’s.

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

I don’t see extended breastfeeding as ridiculous. It helped my toddlers get over illnesses much faster and made very scary situations easier for them to cope. Boobs really have magical powers. My children were rear faced till they were 3 and 5. Not because I was a hippie, but because it was safer for them and their fragile bodies. If taking my kids safety seriously makes me a crazy hippie so be it..

Vanessa Query 1 year ago

It kind of sounds like it’s making fun of everyone equally!

Melissa Lavender 1 year ago

I’m glad someone shares my philosophy of nursing into toddlerhood. I’m just too plain lazy to wean. Haha

Sherry Lazdinsh 1 year ago

I’m a “crunchy,” granola mom or whatever people call us “hippies”. I hope this article is sarcasm and not poking fun at moms who make the choice to raise our kids away from mainstream society. I baby wear, cloth diaper, baby lead weaning, homeschool etc etc because it works for our family and I enjoy it.

Victoria Bryce 1 year ago

Lol!! Yes the boob has magical powers

Jaime Holmes 1 year ago

I’m crunchy too……we do honest company diapering, no GMOs ever, all natural foods always, no vaccines….. I wish he was still breastfeeding but that wasn’t in the cards for me so at 4 Months I had to do formula.

GracieMae 1 year ago

I must be super pseudo….I don’t even know what “crunchy mom” means.

Sonya Negron 1 year ago

I guess I’m a chewy mom then??

Amanda Jackson 1 year ago

I did all of these when my kids were smaller. Lol. Every one.

Katy Lynn 1 year ago

Lol!

Rachael Owens Sanders 1 year ago

I breastfeed, make my own baby food, co-sleep. If that makes me “crunchy” well then so be it!

Carly Popovich 1 year ago

#13 … I kindly refer to it as my daughter “eating her feelings”

Amanda Maness 1 year ago

Too funny!!! Love it.

Sheri Williams 1 year ago

Oh. Okay

Jaime Holmes 1 year ago

Its an all natural mom….where they are all about sensory, ridiculously extended breastfeeding, rear facing in the car seat till 50#, all natural homemade baby food, cloth diapering, baby wearing, co sleeping……..that sort of thing

Amanda Griffith 1 year ago

Number 13 for sure!!

Sheri Williams 1 year ago

Can someone explain “crunchy” to me. Aside from the obvious food term