19 Lies All Moms Tell Themselves
1. Coffee is mostly water, so another cup is basically as hydrating as water.
2. Six hours of sleep is really all you need, right?
3. Maybe college will cost less by the time they go.
4. If I just eat the remnants of my kids’ meals, I’ll naturally keep calories down and won’t gain weight.
5. Everyone has lunch dessert and dinner dessert, it’s just not something people really talk about.
6. Chasing these kids around is enough exercise to work off that lunch dessert.
7. Avocado once a day is probably enough vegetables.
8. These comfortable linen trousers are as sexy as a short skirt, in a Katharine Hepburn kind of way.
9. Someday I’ll wear my short skirts again.
10. Okay, I’ve gained weight, but it’s proportional, so it’s not really noticeable.
11. 4:43 p.m. is basically 5 p.m. Where is the corkscrew?
12. Tonight I will absolutely have just the one glass of wine.
13. My kids are going to love this special dinner I made.
14. These moments are so precious. Even when they poop in the tub. So, so precious.
15. It’s better for me to eat the last cookie than the kids, because they really shouldn’t have too much sugar.
16. I will definitely remember to tell my husband about the poop in the tub and how I have to bleach it before he takes a shower. I definitely won’t forget.
17. The kids won’t notice if Blueberries for Sal is the abridged version tonight.
18. I’ll have just a little splash more of wine and then clean up the kitchen.
19. There was something I was going to tell my husband…oh well, if I can’t remember it must not have been too important.
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