20 Things They Don’t Tell You About The First Year

by Micaela Birmingham
Originally Published: 
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Presented by Tommee Tippee

20. Five uninterrupted minutes alone in the bathroom is bliss.

19. You will love your partner even more when you see how much they love your baby.

18. Your real friends don’t care if your house is a mess.

17. Elmo’s voice has magical powers.

16. Lunch with an old friend is just as important as the pediatrician appointment.

15. A rainbow of bodily fluids will come out of you and your baby.

14. The size of your nipples may grow to astounding proportions.

13. It is possible to lose a Volkswagen in the mountain of laundry a newborn generates.

12. It is perfectly fine to “shower” using a baby wipe.

11. You would trade any amount of food, money, or sex for more sleep.

10. There is a plethora of Law & Order reruns to choose from during 3 a.m. feedings.

9. Your single friends don’t really want to babysit for you.

8. There is a coupon code on the internet for everything you are about to buy for your baby.

7. Two solid hours of crying can never erase 22 hours of love.

6. A tiny baby is capable of man-sized poop.

5. Finding a baby bottle that your baby hungrily accepts is like winning the lottery.

4. Your partner will become the center of all love and all evil all at the same time depending on your mood.

3. Getting out the door on time takes about six months to really get a handle on.

2. All bras and underwear worn in the first six months should be retired (or burned).

1. The sound of your baby laughing is the best thing ever.

Brought to you by Tommee Tippee who is ready to help you tackle the first year and all the surprises that go along with it. #ParentOn

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