25 Signs You Aren’t Coping Well With Your Kids Growing Up Quickly

by Stacy Graebner
Originally Published: 

2. You still give your 4th grader a high five and a sticker when he goes poopy on the potty because, as the experts say, there’s no such thing as too much positive reinforcement.

3. You get choked up at the sound of Caillou’s sweet little whiny, bratty voice.

4. You recently put your son’s middle school book report on the fridge.

5. You avoid walking by Gymboree at all costs, especially on Gymbuck Tuesday, when peeking into the store is like a dagger to the heart…themed two-piece romper.

6. You still pack little baggies full of snacks, even when you’re just going out for an hour with your husband.

7. You convince yourself that your old diaper bag makes an adorable and (soon-to-be) trendy purse.

8. You find yourself sneaking Finding Nemo or The Little Mermaid into the CD player on a long car ride because really, is one ever too old for an underwater sea adventure?

9. You instinctively start rocking when you’re holding your dog. Even though it’s a golden retriever.

10. You still worry about choking hazards and see nothing wrong with cutting your daughter’s grapes into quarters at her middle school dance.

11. You get teary eyed when you hear about a community car seat check in your town, and while you haven’t used a car seat in seven years, you think about stopping by…just to say hi.

12. You convince yourself that you saw HGTV designers decorating with plastic Spider-Man and Elmo dishes, so you better hold on to yours.

13. When your tween kids have friends over you still call it a “playdate.”

14. Goldfish and fruit snacks are readily available in your pantry next to Doritos Extreme and Powerade.

15. You still have a few baby blankets in your linen closet, because they might come in handy someday when your 16-year-old’s left thigh is chilly.

16. You tell your 6th grader that of course you don’t expect him to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall…but how ’bout just crouching next to him for a quick photo?

17. You ask the waitress for two kids’ menus, even though your kids devoured an entire pizza for breakfast this morning.

18. You might still have a stray Leap Frog toy in your house. You know, for when hypothetical friends visit with their hypothetical preschool-aged kids.

19. You say things like, “Does anybody need to use the potty before we leave?” to a group of tweens holding iPhones.

20. Dr. Seuss books can be found on your teen’s shelf next to Divergent and The Hunger Games.

21. You try to convince your family that the hot new vacation spot is a place called “The Land of Make Believe.”

22. You recently asked your son’s high school friends to use their “inside voices.”

23. You suggest an adventurous family outing and find it hard to explain how you ended up at a petting zoo.

24. You remind your eighth grader to “Look both ways” before crossing the street, and then attempt to hold his hand as you cross.

25. You may or may not still have a four-pack of crayons in your purse…even though you’re touring colleges with your kids this summer.

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