27 Ways Parenting A Teenage Boy Is Like Dating One

As I parent my teenage boy, I’m finding a lot of things to be eerily familiar…

1. He doesn’t always answer when I call him.

2. I know I can get his attention with chocolate chip cookies.

3. He mutters things I cannot completely decipher.

4. I’m afraid to look at what’s on the floor in the backseat of his car.

5. I can’t quite bring myself to bring up prom.

6. His bedroom is a realm of mystery to me.

7. I know better than to get too close when he’s with his friends.

8. I go to events and activities with him that I would never in a million years choose on my own.

9. Some days I know he loves me. Other days I’m not so sure.

10. It requires a lot of self-control to suppress suggestions about his wardrobe.

11. I think he is really, really, really adorable.

12. He probably reads the texts I send him, but I can’t be sure.

13. It takes everything I have not to yell, “Just talk to me!”

14. He strikes me as an alien species much of the time.

15. I hoard anything he’s bought for me—cards, dried flowers, gifts—as proof of his love.

16. He just doesn’t want to go out to dinner, and I don’t know why.

17. I know that I think about him much more than he thinks about me.

18. What is that smell?

19. I pretend to be interested in and knowledgeable about movies, music and games I know nothing about.

20. He says he doesn’t want anything for his birthday, but I don’t believe him.

21. I remind myself to give him space.

22. Sports matter more than me. A lot.

23. I never, ever, ever use my nickname for him in public.

24. I am stunned by the volume and selection of food he eats.

25. I talk about him with my friends a lot, trying to understand what he’s thinking and feeling.

26. He hasn’t figured out that I just casually happen to be places where he is so I can engage him in conversation.

27. I keep hoping someday he will realize how amazing I am.