3 Plot Twists That Could Make The New '50 Shades' Book Worth Reading

There are three ways that this book could be interesting.

1. Anastasia Is a Lying Liar

Can you imagine what would happen if we got to poke around in Christian Grey’s head and it was revealed that Anastasia is the twisted one? A spectacular plot twist: It’s Anastasia who has manipulated Christian in unfathomable ways. His version of events will set the record straight: He is a nice guy who was minding his own business, enjoying vanilla sex and then, boom, Anastasia and her crazy boudoir games came along and sullied the poor man’s inhibitions.

2. Midlife Crisis Plot Twist

What if it turns out that Christian Grey and Anastasia are actually middle-aged married suburbanites, and Christian has imagined the entire first three books? So there he is, going through life developing a beer gut, watching football on Sundays, listening to his wife bitch about the PTA bake sale, and grumbling that the neighbors’ damn shih tzu won’t stop crapping on his front lawn—and then he has a midlife crisis. He imagines this insane world of power and sex so disturbing and yet so tantalizing that he retreats into his fantasies of whips and buckets of money.

3. Soap Opera Plot Twist

How absurdly perfect would it be if it turned out that Grey’s version of the story would reveal that he is really his dead twin brother, Brown, and Anastasia is really his twin brother’s wife, who will turn out to be suffering from amnesia? All that wild sex in the first three books will turn out to be fragmented memories from some implausible accident that no one saw coming. Also, Brown and Anastasia have a daughter together who will age from infant to semi-ageless twentysomething in roughly one chapter, and who will turn out to be the cause of the implausible accident.

One could only hope the James will turn this book into something interesting, but I have a feeling it will more likely be a pity party, painting Christian Grey as a hopeless emotional black hole who only someone like Anastasia can save. Right? Because that’s what sells.