5 Back-to-School Mom Meltdowns I Refuse to Have This Year

Several things I love about summer: Swimming pools, the acceptability of the rat’s nest on the top of my head as “beach hair,” and mornings that start at 11a.m, to name a few. However, it’s about this time in August, after months of concentrated family fun, that I feel more than ready for the kids to go back to school, and my desire for a frozen beverage poolside turns into a stronger desire for a coffee anywhere that has a population of zero.

Yet, as I start making my school-prep checklist (e.g. new shoes, new clothes, and a hard reintroduction to the concept of “bedtime”), I realize that I am so very far from being ready.

My end-of-summer stress hits hard and fast like Bieber’s comeback. I yell, “Go and put your shoes on! We need to shop,” and I’m shocked that it doesn’t produce the same effect as “Get your swimsuits on!”

I remember that the “Hurrah, the kids are finally back at school!” peace comes at a price. From packing lunches to creating a replica of the moon landing entirely out of upcycled plastic straws, it’s a daily struggle stuck on repeat for 18+ years. This trip around the sun, I’m determined to keep my mental stability in check. Here’s how:

Meltdown Source #1: Too Many People Yelling Demands at Me

Solution: Create my own army of mini leaders, not mini dictators

Come Labor Day, Fun Mom fades away along with my funky tan lines. In her place is Overextended Mom, resembling an Alexa device people bark demands at. This year, I’m teaching my kids to fish for themselves, rather than yelling at them to hold the line. I’m starting with the monotonous morning task of locating and filling the water bottles. I recently bought a PUR faucet filter and demonstrated to the kids the ease of flipping the switch and watching a steady stream of water pour from the tap (and directly into their bottles). They will have cleaner filtered water in their bottles, and I will have a bit of my morning back. Next up, getting them to use the PUR filtered water to fill my coffee maker.

Meltdown Source #2: The Preparation and Making of School Lunches

Solution: Simplicity first, sandwiches shaped like The Mona Lisa second

I lack all relevant talent to make an Insta-worthy lunchbox. My cartoon-shaped sandwiches look more like the lovechild of an alien and a pigeon. That’s okay. My kids will eat watermelon whether it is shaped like the wings of a monarch butterfly or just cut into asymmetrical chunks. If I ever have the time and desire (unlikely), I’ll create the entire cast of The Lion King out of smoked salmon and quinoa. For now, it’s fruit in its original fruit form, and a ham and cheese sandwich.

Meltdown Source #3: Too Many Activities

Solution: Remembering the word “no” and using it

Come September, my husband and I are like ships passing over the rough waters of dance lessons, sports practices, and school activities. Most nights I fall asleep in the task I set out to do earlier (i.e. a pile of laundry) but was too busy playing taxi driver to tackle before 10p.m. It’s unsustainable and unnecessary. Time playing on the street with the neighbors, or even being bored, is as crucial to childhood development as time spent taking a Shakespeare for Toddlers class. So, I’m saying “no.” No to playdates on busy days, no to extra activities, and no to all laundry (I wish!).

Meltdown Source #4: Disconnection, Hurt Feelings, and Misunderstandings

Solution: Time together in the kitchen

Over the summer, our kitchen provides refuge from the heat, endless popsicles, tall glasses of lemonade, and the backdrop for leisurely discussions about what my 4-year-old thinks his favorite color will be when he turns 11. Once school’s in swing, though, our kitchen time is limited to fly-by granola bar grabs, and yelling into a cupboard about being out of peanut butter again. Our feelings get hurt easily because we don’t put in the time to know what is happening in each other’s lives beyond that which is scheduled. I’m determined: We will spend time here together cooking, talking, and just being together this fall — even if it means that I have to shut down the wi-fi in this part of the house.

Meltdown Source #5: Raising Children in General

Solution: Being zen AF

I used to think a warm bath and a girls’ night out qualified as self-care. As I had more kids, however, I realized an hour in a hot tub does not undo a decade of child-induced stress. Parenting is a far greater task than I imagined, and requires a daily combination of deep mental relaxation, good food, proper hydration, and commiseration with my just-as-crazed inner circle. As the temperatures drop, I spend less time on self-nurture, contributing to my back-to-school blues. This fall, I’m taking deep breaths, exercising in the open air, and keeping a refillable bottle of filtered tap water on my person. The PUR Faucet Filtration system reduces more than 70 contaminants from tap water, a good place to start since my youngest likes to stick his germ-infested hand into my glass when I’m not looking.

Maybe those carefree summer months do prepare us for the school-time chaos. It’s just up to us to carry their lessons of time together, freer schedules, and self-care with us throughout the year.

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