5 Movies We Don't Want Remade

Everything old is new again—or it’s going to be. Here are some of the reduxes heading our way, either in the form of remakes, updates or sequels:

Star Wars (No kidding!)

Indiana Jones

Blade Runner

Mad Max

National Lampoon’s Vacation

War Games

Poltergeist

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Some of these are actually ready for an update. I loved War Games, and I’ve always been just the right age to have a crush on Matthew Broderick (because thankfully, he ages right along with me), but the right people could do a great update to that movie and still make it fun.

But all these reboots made me think that there are some wonderful movies from way back when that should remain just as they are throughout eternity. We narrowed the list down to five “untouchables.” Listen up, Hollywood!

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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Don’t mess with a classic; this movie is perfect. I watched it with my kids a few months ago, and it was magical. We curled up together under a blanket and didn’t get up once. They laughed when the ball came flying back out of the shed, and when Gertie met E.T. for the first time. They gasped when the bikes went up into the air. And we all cried together when E.T. turned gray and shriveled in the tank. There is not one thing in this movie that should change, and no, I do not want E.T.’s son to come back to earth looking for grown-up Elliott.

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Kramer vs. Kramer

I was 13 when this came out, and even at that age, I knew I was watching something unique. It’s the performances that make this movie so perfect. Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep and Justin Henry should not be messed with. There are other divorce stories to tell; leave this one alone.

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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

This movie was a celebration of youth, rebellion and friendship. I don’t want to know that Ferris grew up and had kids of his own, or even that he married Sloane. I want to think of Ferris just as he was, without the reality of the world to crush his spirit and his optimism. Growing up is not for everybody.

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The Princess Bride

It doesn’t matter how many times you watch this movie, there’s never a false note. The Rodents of Unusual Size, the Six-Fingered Man, the Pit of Despair, being “mostly dead.” I don’t want to hear anyone but Mandy Patinkin saying, “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Inconceivable!

Tootsie

Somehow they managed to make this movie in 1982 without turning it into a sexist nightmare. I know it’s 2015, but I just don’t think they could do it again today without getting it all wrong. Thirty years after making the movie, star Dustin Hoffman talked about what it taught him about women, and cried when he tried to explain how his own view of women had been so shallow.

And this is what makes him, and the movie, so irreplaceable.