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The mom whose love language is disinfectant. The mom who takes her aggression out while kneading bread dough. The overachieving mom, the overworked mom, the mom who manages to make it through the day without pulling every last hair out of her gorgeous mom head. If you know any moms, chances are you know at least one who could use a little cannabis. And if you can’t think of any, congratulations! It’s you. You’re the mom.
The Rage Cleaner
Hell hath no fury like a rage-cleaning mother. First, it’s just a bit of tidying up. Then, you bend down to pick up a toy and notice yellow crumbs in the carpet — you haven’t had fish crackers in the house for weeks, yet your floor is a snack food aquarium. Before you know it, you’re white-knuckling your way through every counter, clothing hamper, and dirty cooking utensil in your home. It’s time you try a little trick I like to call “sativa organizing.” It still has huffs and puffs, but in a way that will have you floating through the mess like a herbal goddess telling your people to “come in here and pick up your stuff.”
The Boss Mom
If “taking care of business” were a person, it’d be the Boss Mom. She runs her household, her workplace, maybe an army of clones that help her get everything done. She’s the mom in the pick-up line who other parents look at and ask, “How does she do it?” Her secret? Probably not taking enough time for herself. If anyone deserves “me time” with a little cannabis at the end of the day, it’s her.
The Worry Wart
The only thing we have to fear is literally everything — I mean, have you seen the news? Recently, life has given my fellow Worry Warts plenty of fuel to add to their anxiety fire. And there is no joykill quite like our old pal Anxiety. From spiraling thoughts to sweating the small stuff to actual sweating, it’s truly the worst. With a little cannabis, it’s possible that everyday stressors may not feel so overwhelming. At the very least, it can keep you from doom-scrolling yourself to sleep every night.
The Stress Baker
Have you dabbled in sourdough starters? Do you turn to dessert decoration in times of crisis? Are you fluent in four-ingredient treats, no-bake cookies, and ways you can use a pint of ice cream that will blow your mind? What about the phrase “pressure cooker cake”? Does that do it for you? If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you may want to grab a smidge of cannabis. Take it from every college student ever: any and all baked goods taste better when you’re a little bit baked yourself.
Any Mom Who Has Made It Through The Past Year
Every time someone asks how I am, it takes everything in me not to gesture wildly at the current state of everything. After more than 12 months of Zoom meetings, remote learning, being stuck inside, and somehow trying to find the time and motivation to shower, we’re all at least a little bit burned out.
In case you need to hear it from someone else: taking care of yourself is not selfish. Just like there’s no shame in unwinding with a glass of wine at the end of the day, consuming cannabis can help foster some much-needed me time. And every type of mom — from the responsibility-avoidant redecorator to the mom who’s had a breakdown at the grocery store to every mom in between — deserves a little lot more me time.
The statements in this publication are solely those of Scary Mommy and not Curaleaf. Laws governing the legality, availability and use of marijuana vary by state.
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