If you’re in a part of the country where spring has actually arrived, chances are you’ve seen them: Birkenstocks, thong-ing the feet of throngs of women.
Yes, Birks, the anti-fashion statement of the ’90s, have returned as the “it” shoe for the summer of 2015. And these aren’t just the oil-rubbed brown ones of your Phish-concert-going youth: They come in pink and blue, in patent leather and calf hair. They come in metallic. They come in a special edition on the J.Crew website, for $250 a pair.
I’ve got nothing against Birks personally, although I’ve always been more of a flip-flops girl myself. But I’m down with the nod to ’90s fashion. In fact, I’ve been waiting for it. Here a few other things I’d like to see make a comeback.
1. Baggy Overalls
Any time you can increase your denim-to-surface-area ratio, the answer should be yes. Also, overalls save you the trouble of deciding whether to tuck in your shirt or not. Best of all, they allow you to show a little skin (via a skimpy shirt underneath), yet also leave something to the imagination.
2. Wearing a T-Shirt Under a Sundress
Enough with the maxi dresses. Bring back the sundress. Perfected by all the girls in my high school graduating class and the entire cast of “Friends,” this was the perfect dressy casual look. The sundress of choice was usually long, flowing and spaghetti-strapped. The t-shirt underneath it kept your shoulders warm, and its modesty made it the perfect dress in which to meet your boyfriend’s parents.
3. Oversized T-Shirts
I have had my fill of clothing that, you know, fits. Bring back boxy t-shirts, and for the love of God, let’s finally put the “tissue tee” to rest. Who decided we all wanted see-through t-shirts? Not me. I want a t-shirt with a tight enough weave that the entire world isn’t looking at my bra straps and a fit that isn’t clinging to my rib cage. If it happens to have sleeves I can cuff, all the better.
4. Flannel Shirts
I have a closet full of flannel shirts from 1992, which I am hanging onto in the hope that their day will come again. (And that Eddie Vedder will decide to marry me, once and for all.) They made getting dressed so blissfully easy. They were never wrinkled. They tied around your waist without losing their shape. In short, they were perfect. Also, you could steal them from your brother/boyfriend/father, since they were supposed to be nowhere near your size.
After nearly a decade of cramming my feet into teeny little ballet flats, I am ready for the return of clunky shoes. Big, chunky ones. I’m not picky—Doc Martens, platform sneakers, what have you. Just as long as the shoe looks two to three sizes larger than my natural foot.
Long necklaces have never worked for me. First of all, I’m not cool or bohemian enough to layer them on top of each other. Second, I’m klutzy, so when I try to pull it off, I get all tangled in them. And third, my kids think these things are some kind of mommy leash—they grab the necklaces in an attempt to grab me. No go. I’d never have this problem with a choker. So sleek! So functional! So close to your neck! I must have had a dozen of them, all beaded, some handmade, many purchased in the parking lot of the H.O.R.D.E. Festival.
So while you’re digging your Birks out of a box in your mother’s basement, keep an eye out for the rest of your ’90s gear. Chances are, something like it will be finding its way into a store near you—if it hasn’t already.
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