From The Confessional: I Need Some Alone Time Or I'll F*cking Scream

From The Confessional: I Need Some Alone Time Or I’ll F*cking Scream

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Raise your hand (and a glass) if you can relate to each and every one of these “alone time NOW” confessions

We’re about to enter the seventh month of the pandemic. Many of us are working from home, homeschooling our children, and staying quarantined as much as realistically possible. We’re with our family 24-effing-7, and we’ve had it. HAD. IT. Which is why these confessions are the perfectly imperfect validation we all need right now.

If you’re yearning for the alone time you cannot seem to make time for, or yearning for more than what you’re currently able to get — you’re not alone. We’re all in this support group together, and we meet at the Zoom bar.

Confessional #25794775

“I desperately need some alone time before I lose it, but going out during this pandemic fills me with anxiety, but if I don't get some time to myself soon I'm going to fucking kill someone, but going out freaks me out... fucked if I do- fucked if I don't.”

Confessional #25792990

“I am tired to my very soul. My family seems to think my alone time is time for us to talk. Or rifle my closet. Or sleep next to me. Or be in my headspace.”

Confessional #25791773

“Everybody got a benadryl before bed tonight...mommy needs some alone time!”

There is no peeing alone. No cooking alone. No eating snacks alone. No watching TV alone (at least not until everyone is asleep, and LOL when does that even happen). Some parents are lucky if they can even shower alone right now. WE ARE NOT OKAY!

Confessional #25789567

“If I don't get some alone time soon, I'm going to have a fucking breakdown and leave my family. Maybe just for a few days, but I have got to get out of here.”

Confessional #25788292

“I miss alone time. Even just alone time from DH would be nice. The kids ask me for stuff all day but will sit by themselves to play or watch a movie sometimes. DH bugs hourly. Never for anything important often feeling me up. I hate it stop touching me.”

Stop asking us for things. All the things. Where things are, what to do, where to go, how to feel, where the hidden Dove chocolates are — all of it, damn it. LEAVE US ALONE.

Confessional #25786251

“I'd rather stay up half the night and be exhausted the next day just so I can have some alone time. Seriously, I cannot spend every waking moment with my kids.”

Confessional #25785271

“I’m a stay-home mom and was finally enjoying time alone while everyone was at work and and school...then pandemic...and everyone has been home since March and I’m sick and tired of it! I want my alone time back!”

Confessional #25779553

“DH is back in the office for a few hours today. The house is all mine again for a while, and I LOVE it! I can just be me. I don't want him to get COVID, but I love my peace and alone time.”

“I don’t want him to get COVID, but” is honestly what it’s come down to at this point. Wives are basically doing everything short of wearing a giant sandwich board that says “Leave Me The F Alone” and ringing a bell throughout the house, waiting for their significantly others to get a damn clue.

Confessional #25794517

“Me for the 10th time today, 273rd time this week, and 102948462nd time since quarantine started: “Kids, I’m sorry mommy lost her shit. Now can you please leave me alone for more than 2 fucking seconds at a time so I don’t lose it again?””

Confessional #25793825

“I want everyone to leave me alone. For like a fucking month”

Confessional #25791408

“Sick to death of living with my husband and kids. They are terrible roommates, selfish, they mess up everything literally and figuratively, and they deprive me of sleep and peace. I want to just leave and get my own place. So sick of this. Leave me alone!”

If there’s one thing that some of us know for sure, it’s that even after the pandemic ends (you know, in a bazillion years)…yeah, we still want to be left alone. Maybe our spouses and tiny roomates are driving us up the wall, but uh, yeah, other people have really been good at proving why boundaries exist.

Confessional #25784771

“I am struggling with everyone wanting to “catch up” now that lockdown is easing. Please go away and leave me alone.”

Though if all else fails, just pretend to be asleep. Sometimes it’s the only trick in the hat.

Confessional #25778810

“7:30pm - Just pretended to be asleep when my kid came to talk to me. You've been impossible today, please leave me alone.”