To My Daughter, As You Enter Middle School

by Lisa Witherspoon
Originally Published: 

Dear Daughter,

Very soon, you will start middle school. Right now, you are excited about meeting new people, having new experiences and gaining more independence. I am excited too. It will be a new adventure, and I am looking forward to watching you grow and bloom.

I will admit, though, that I am also more than a little scared. You see, I have heard lots of stories about adolescents making bad decisions, succumbing to peer pressure, using social media for inappropriate purposes and trying to do grown up things like sexting and drugs far too soon. I’m sure you have heard some of these stories too. Part of me wants to think you are too smart and too good to fall into those traps. However, there is another part of me that refuses to be a naive parent who is blind to the truth.

Since you are the oldest, this is uncharted territory for all of us. We are preparing to navigate the waters of adolescence, puberty, middle school and high school. There will be times of smooth sailing and plenty of rough waters, too. Through it all, I want you to remember these pieces of advice. Should you get scared or lost along the way, remember that I’m traveling with you, and I’m always happy to help you adjust your sails.

1. Work hard. Remember that school work comes first and everything else is secondary. That includes sports, friends and other hobbies. I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you to try your hardest every time. If you do, I will be proud, but you will be prouder.

2. Be brave. You are going to have so many new experiences. Some will be good. Some will not. When you face these challenges, be brave. Stand up for what you believe even if it makes you “uncool.” That will fade, but your courage will make a lasting impression.

3. Be yourself. You are unique and wonderful. Don’t ever change in an effort to fit in. If others cannot see how fantastic and remarkable you are, that is their loss, not yours.

4. Do what you know is right. When others are pressuring you to do something and your gut tells you not to, listen! We have tried our best to teach you what is right and what is wrong. You will know it in your heart. You just have to follow your instincts.

5. Get organized. School and life are only going to get harder, busier and more complicated from here on out. Get organized now. Learn how to manage your time. Don’t procrastinate. These are habits that will help you in middle school, in high school, in whatever career you choose and in life for a long time to come.

6. Be kind. Adolescence can be tough and awkward and uncomfortable. Remember that everyone is struggling with something. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. Even when it’s not popular, be compassionate and courteous.

7. Be confident. You are awesome. Don’t ever forget that. You can do anything you set your mind to and you will change the world. I’m sure of it.

8. Surround yourself with the right kind of people. There is an old saying I heard many times from my own parents. It says, “You are no better than the company you keep.” If others are mean, deceitful or immoral, if they try to change you, then they are not the kind of people with whom you should spend time. Rise above them.

9. Remember that we will always love you. Your dad and I are here for you any time you need us, and there is nothing you can say or do that will make us stop loving you. If you have questions, we will find answers. If you are unsure how to handle a situation, we will gladly give you guidance. If your heart is breaking, we will dry your tears. If you have made a mistake, we will help you amend it. If you are about to explode with joy, we will share your happiness. All you have to do is come to us. We are never too busy for you, and your problems are never too small or too big. All you have to do is talk. We will listen. I promise.

10. Have fun. You are on the brink of learning so much and experiencing so much. It won’t all be easy going. There will be bumps in the road. Despite the bumps, there will also be lots to enjoy. Smile. Laugh. Make new friends. Soak it in. Enjoy this stage in your life. Believe me, it will go by faster than you can imagine!

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