Barbie Finally Gets Flats

by Laurie Ulster
Originally Published: 

In honor of Barbie’s slow evolution toward reality, here are some other Barbies I think would be fun for kids to play with:

1. Orthodontic Work Barbie

She’d come with removable headgear, biteplate, retainer and snap-on braces.

2. Bed-Head Barbie

This Barbie would have hair that always looks messy, giving kids the fun of trying to tame her wild hair with brushes, combs, products and accessories. (This one was inspired by the time my daughter tried to brush Snow White’s hair.)

© Courtesy of Laurie Ulster

3. Tattoo Barbie

Don’t you think kids would like this? They all love those temporary tattoos, so putting Barbie in a tank top and a motorcycle jacket would be perfect. There would be tattoos for the small of her back, her ankles and her collarbones.

4. Emo/Goth Barbie

For those darker moods. We know kids have them. Barbie would have jet-black hair with maybe a slight dark purple hue, dark lipstick, and her smile would be replaced by a barely restrained frown.

5. Cell Phone Barbie

This one comes with a tiny plastic smartphone that can’t be moved from its position: 4 inches in front of her face.

6. Transgender Barbie

Comes with a vast selection of clothing, from men’s suits to high-fashion dresses, with a shoe collection to match.

You’ve come a long way, Barbie! Next stop: Birkenstocks.

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