By now, you’ve probably seen the post, “My Son is Gay” by a mommy blogger writing at Nerdy Apple Bottom. It’s a terrific post. In it, the author stands up for her five year old son’s right to dress as he pleases, specifically as Daphne from Scooby Doo this past Halloween. The post has been met with tremendous support and that’s awesome. I feel the exact same way Sarah, the author, does– should my sons want to dress as female characters on Halloween? More power to them. Screw the other mothers who might judge them. Should my sons choose to love a man instead of a woman? Fine by me. They are my children and I’ll love and support them no matter what. Period. Just like her.
The post did raise some questions, for me, though. How will that son feel about the post when he’s an adolescent or a teenager? Could his “friends” find and use the picture as ammunition? It’s there, forever, for anyone and everyone to see and unfortunately, bullies do exist. Will he feel embarrassed and ashamed of it? Or will he feel proud of his mom and empowered by her actions?
How will my Lily feel about the posts I write on her raging mood swings? On her relationship with food? Will Ben be upset by the video I posted of him whining for grilled cheese yet again for dinner? Will Evan appreciate the pictures I posted when his hair was so long it bordered on abusive? Have I ever crossed the line?
It’s a strange road that we mommy bloggers navigate. Are these stories of our children ours to tell? We put them in the public eye, through no choice of their own and it’s something I’m starting to struggle with more and more. Our children are the guinea pigs; the first generation of children belonging to bloggers and all we can do is wait and see how they all turn out. I find myself holding back on stories more and more that might someday embarrass Lily and imagine that as the boys get older, their tales might become less personal as well. What on earth will I write about in 5 years?!
It is my hope that my children are able to see my blog as the love letter it is to them. They are the reason I started it, after all, and my love for them is my main focus day after day. I love that they will be able to get to know me as a person, not just their mother. I love that we have a written record of their early days, not just an album filled with photos. I love it. I imagine the author of the other post feels the same way. We are all just trying to do the best we can for our children. All we can do is hope that they recognize that.
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