Conservatives Have Big Feelings About Big Bird Getting A COVID Vaccine

by Erica Gerald Mason

Big Bird’s vaccination announcement gets strong words from conservatives, GOP

Things to be angry about: people who are rude to retail staff who are doing their best. People who shame girls for wearing clothes. Or wearing locs.. Things to not be angry about: a fake bird getting a fake shot to help real kids who might be scared of getting a vaccine.

Who has the time to get angry at something like that? Apparently, Ted Cruz and his buddies have time for this outrage. For context, Big Bird, who is the world’s most feathery 6-year-old, just became eligible for the Pfizer vaccine.

And so Big Bird, who for many kiddos is like their big brother, announced on Saturday that he has been vaccinated against Covid-19.”I got the COVID-19 vaccine today! My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy,” the 8-foot, 2-inch Muppet wrote on Twitter. “Ms. @EricaRHill even said I’ve been getting vaccines since I was a little bird. I had no idea!”

Big Bird became eligible for the vaccine only recently, when the Food and Drug Administration announced that it had authorized the Pfizer vaccine for children ages 5 to 11.

Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, apparently in-between visits to Mexico, was supportive and appreciated the effort to quell children’s fears.

LOL, no. Could you imagine? No. Ted, otherwise known as the gloomiest clown at the circus, accused the margarine-colored bird of spreading “government propaganda.”

“Government propaganda…for your 5 year old!” Cruz tweeted.

“Brainwashing children who are not at risk from COVID. Twisted,” Lisa Boothe of Fox News tweeted.

Don’t they all seem nice? They seem 100% invested in making sure their youngest constituents and viewers don’t panic or rush to judgment. Like, they all attended the Aaron Rogers School Of Contemporary And Erroneous Science which meets via livestream on Thursday afternoons on TikTok, or whenever Rogers can get a strong wifi signal from wherever he’s hiding from what he calls ‘the woke mob.’

Not everyone was upset to see Big Bird’s tweet, with some thanking “Sesame Street” for discussing the shot. President Biden tweeted his support.

In the same vein, clips have been shared of the yellow puppet introducing the concept of vaccination to audiences decades ago.

“Sesame Street” has been working through Covid-19 throughout the pandemic, discussing vaccines and teaching kiddos about masks, social distancing, washing hands, and staying healthy.

Those bastards.