From The Confessional: Big Boob Problems—The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

by Cassandra Stone
Two lemons leaned against each other on a blue backdrop
Jena Ardell/Getty

These buxom moms are ready to spill — figuratively and literally

Big boobs. Ah, sometimes having them is all fun and games, and sometimes it’s just…ugh, these things are always in THE WAY. Sometimes everyone else loves them even if you don’t. Sometimes you love them just as much as everyone else seems to. Sometimes you just want to be able to wear a cute bra that doesn’t look like you got it from Sexless Matrons R Us.

Moms are taking to the Confessional to share anything and everything about living that Big Boob Life. The good, the bad, and the ugly — their cups runneth over.

Only reason why i am fat is i love my big boobs!

Confessional #25787134

I didn’t get my period till 8th grade & I had small boobs. I wished & wished I had big boobs. Fast fwd to 12th grade I was a 34DDD. Cant possibly get any bigger right? Fast fwd to the present I’m a 36H & FUCKING hate it. Be careful what you wish for.

Confessional #25771841

BARELY pregnant and my already big boobs doubled in size. They are HUGE and heavy and NOTHING fits... not because of the bump, but because of them. FML i want to get reductive surgery

Confessional #25756566

Raise your hand if you were unprepared for pregnancy boobs and how rapidly they became large and in charge!

After long contemplation I told my H that I want a boob job after nursing 3 DC. I honestly thought he would be against it, but he said ok. And then I learned that he actually likes big boobs. Never new this after 20 y of being together. I‘m not unhappy.

Confessional #24074128

Raise your hand if you were unprepared for the deflation of your post-nursing chesticles and the non-perky, non-bouncy sacks of skin you were left with.

I'm very curvy...ass, hips, thighs, small waist, big boobs...I'm a magnet for men. I know I sound stupid for complaining but wish one man would like me for my personality...All they see is my body. I'm so lonely.

Confessional #23413915

I know this is pointless, but I'm offended that (most) men like big boobs. WHY? They don't do anything. They just contribute to sore backs, ill-fitting shirts, and uncomfortable gigantic bras. I have big boobs, so I know what I'm talking about!

Confessional #22435611

My boobs are huge and my back hurts ALL. THE. TIME. I can't wait until I can afford a reduction, but having big boobs has been such a part of me that I know I'll miss them. But I want to run, wear cute bras, and be pain free. Only $42,000 of debt left.

Confessional #22063348

Busty back problems are THE WORST. There should be special chiropractors just for people with big boobs, no joke. The world would be a better place.

I hate my big boobs! Not terribly big, but I'm a 36D. Clothes, especially ones that zip, are so hard to find. Things may fit everywhere else, but won't zip, close, etc. I feel so fat but it's my boobs! ugh!

Confessional #21593463

SO is Obsessed with my breasts, like he's fucking 13 years old says things to me like "you have big boobs" and the only reason I stay with you is because of your boobs". I can't stand being around him anymore.

Confessional #19822288

If a man is only with you because of your breast size, DUMP HIS ASS HONEY.

My big boobs are like extra hands. Hear me out. I can safely and securely carry an iPhone 6 under my tit (no bra)) and sometimes do at home when I don’t have enough hands. I can even reach up without fear it will fall. So motherhood isn’t all bad lol.

Confessional #11002551

My boobs are so big I could lean over DD car seat and feed her when we were on a road trip. No need to stop and unstrap to feed. Sometimes big boobs rock!

Confessional #1746294

Listen, not everyone hates their ta-tas. Sometimes big ‘uns come in handy!

I have to put deodorant under my boobs everyday to avoid sweat rashes. Big boobs suck

Confessional #5720726

I got fake boobs - 34DDD and now I get boob crack zits. What an unpleasant side effect!!

Confessional #1606894

…and sometimes they just don’t.

I have big boobs and like to show off my cleavage. H thinks it's sexy and other guys love to look at my tits. I love the attention.

Confessional #4133726

My husband calls my boobs huge milkers. It really hurts my feelings because I know he prefers small boobs but I'm over weight and pregnant with big boobs. I hate them.

Confessional #1788595

I've lost 45 pounds so it was a total slap in the face to get tagged in a FB pic and realize that I can still look very, very fat. I'm a size 6. Stupid big boobs.

Confessional #1768509

I finally bought a swimsuit to show of my big chest, have had big boobs all my life but low self-esteem, but scared I will chicken out and return it. I'm not getting any younger.

Confessional #1742773

*taps megaphone* WEAR THE BATHING SUIT! All bodies are bathing suit bodies!

I love my fake boobs! I can get anything I want...

Confessional #25133207

Big boobs and shirts that button or zipper? Impossible. Running and jumping? You could poke your eye out, tbh. Gotta be careful. Pretty bras that make you feel sexy? Well, unless you want to spend a fortune and then some, you’re almost forced buy ugly, practical, “nude” bras with straps as thick as a seatbelt.

But here’s the thing — it’s not your boobs that are the problem (unless you’re in physical pain, then that’s a BIG problem). It’s the world. It’s society. It’s fashion. It’s all of those things not realizing that all bodies are different, hardly any of them are proportioned perfectly, and big boobs are common AF.

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but it’s also okay to love your body as it is — every buxom, busty, and boobalicious part of it.