Birth Plan Vs. Actual Plan

Originally Published: 
birth plan

Presented by Tommee Tippee

After having two kids, the only plan I realized I needed was for everything not to go according to plan. Birth is a beautiful miracle, but it’s also scary, messy, hella painful, and I will admit I have blocked parts of it from all memory. The bottom line is that Mother Nature has her own plans for you, and resistance is futile. Here are the things most likely to happen differently than you planned them:



Birth plan: Have baby on due date with nursery set up and a stockpile of lasagna in the freezer.

Actual plan: Have baby 11 days late. Eat all the frozen lasagna because you are so over cooking and in a complete state of beached whale-ness.

Birth plan: Have planned C-section two weeks before the due date of your twins.

Actual plan: Go into labor two months early. Go on bed rest and become consumed by excruciating worry about whether or not you can keep the babies in there until they are a little stronger.



Ruslan Dashinsky

Birth plan: Labor at home for as long as you can before going to hospital.

Actual plan: Labor at home for too long and almost have baby in your car as your partner breaks every traffic rule in the book racing to the hospital.



Birth plan: Request a mirror to be able to focus on pushing and watch your baby crown.

Actual plan: Forget all about the mirror because contractions do not need a visual for emphasis.

Birth plan: Have a stopwatch to time contractions with your partner swabbing your head with a cool cloth between each one.

Actual plan: No watch necessary. It hurts all the time. No cloth necessary. You don’t want anyone to touch you.

Birth plan: Go all natural. No drugs.

Actual plan: Scream repeatedly for drugs.

Breaking the News


Birth plan: FaceTime all your closest family and friends to share the big news.

Actual plan: Ban all photographic devices from your room and sleep while your partner makes the calls.

Despite all planning falling by the wayside, I was fortunate enough to have two healthy babies. One arrived before the doctor did, but (after I stopped freaking out) it all worked out in the end. You got this. Now go tear up the plan.

Brought to you by Tommee Tippee who has your back when the plan turns out differently than you expected. #ParentOn

This article was originally published on