Thanksgiving candy corn is here and it’s a pilgrimage for your taste buds
Whether you’re team candy corn or you’re wrong, one thing is for certain: The Halloween kernels bring out two emotions in people, love or hate. There’s no sitting on the fence on this one; however, this latest experiment from Brach’s may push some in the #Corn4Lyfe camp to do a quick about-face.
The confection maker just released Turkey Dinner Candy Corn, and the name really says it all. It’s a mix of six classic Thanksgiving flavors — roasted turkey, tangy cranberry sauce, stuffing, green beans, ginger glazed carrots, and sweet potato pie — all in candy form. For those of us whose fave meal of the year is Thanksgiving dinner, this bag of sugar elicits a range of emotions landing somewhere around intriguingly confused.
“We’re always innovating with trends and fun flavors, and we know this year is different than anything we’ve ever seen — much like our new Brach’s Turkey Dinner candy corn, which includes a full-course meal of traditional Thanksgiving favorites,” Mariah Havens, senior brand manager of seasonal marketing for Ferrara, said in a statement to Food & Wine. “From roasted turkey, green beans and stuffing to ginger-glazed carrots, cranberry sauce and sweet potato pie, our new Turkey Dinner offering is the perfect mix to welcome fall and celebrate the season with family and friends.”
Obviously, people have Very Big Emotions about this:
Make 2020 stop. Read the list of flavors crammed into each one of these pieces of candy corn — green beans, cranberry sauce, turkey. No. No. No. https://t.co/YcqiChKLGv
— Amanda Garrett (@agarrettABJ) August 11, 2020
August 2020 brings us “turkey dinner” flavored #candycorn Run, we are IN the horror movie! The call is coming from inside the house! Do you like candy corn? It’s too sweet for me, but seriously WTF?!? #HorrorFamily #horror #Halloween https://t.co/4EKrw9TSIS
— HorrorNerd_13 (@LisaPortillo9) August 12, 2020
In case you needed more proof of how insane we are. VOILA! pic.twitter.com/wkbblI3Ks0
— Lewis Black (@TheLewisBlack) August 12, 2020
— Angus T. Kirk (@angusparvo) August 14, 2020
— Jeff Durso (@jdurso82) August 11, 2020
It’s a brave idea to be sure. Someone who was, perhaps, over-served at lunch came back into the office and was like, “You guys. I’ve GOT it,” and no one had the balls to argue. Honestly, for those who don’t cook, this could be the answer to all your prayers. Just throw down a few bags of these on your table like confetti and dinner is served. All of the corn is colored-coordinated with the type of food it’s supposed to taste like, so any vegetarians guests can feel safe.
I guess if you were one of the brave souls that have tried Jelly Belly flavors, like barf, booger, buttered popcorn, canned dog food, and stink bug, eating a candy corn that tastes of fowl isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. I, for one, will probably stick with the good ole’ fashioned original “Candy Corn” and its older, hotter sister “Pumpkins” and call it a day.
If you’re a risk-taker, Brach’s Turkey Dinner Candy Corn mix is available now at Walgreens stores nationwide. A 12-ounce bag will set you back $2.99 — and I’d throw in some Tums, just in case. Racist uncles and your pro-Trump brother-in-law not included.