Parenting

Dating App Shuts Down User For Being A Sexist Jerk

by Jerriann Sullivan
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Originally Published: 

Bumble bans male user after he throws a sexist tantrum

A male user of the popular dating app Bumble learned that harassment isn’t the way to a woman’s heart after he threw a bizarre temper tantrum. He lost access to the site when staff found out he was bullying a female user named Ashley.

By now most of us have seen some of the truly awful examples of men harassing women online — particularly on dating sites. Which is one of the reasons Bumble was founded. The site aims to help keep women in control of the conversation and openly promotes a lady-friendly vibe. For example, the female user always gets to make the first move with possible connections — saving ladies from having to read through messages from fellas they’re not feeling.

The interaction started out simple enough, but Connor’s messages became hostile and aggressive fast. Ashley was having a slow day at work and decided to share that with her potential suitor before asking what he does for a living. A perfectly normal question, right? It’s one that is asked all the time during the small talk phase of any relationship. Not so for this guy, who proceeded to lose his shit. In just a few short messages he managed to insult her, her job, her education, Beyoncé, and women in general. The full exchange is below.

Via Bumble.

“I don’t see anything nice about you prying into my career without even getting to know me as a person first,” the clueless bro wrote. Wait, what? Isn’t part of getting to know someone learning how they spend 40+ hours every week? As the conversation progresses, it’s clear this guy has very specific expectations as to how he wants women to speak to him.

Via Bumble

So to recap, Connor is furious that women have asked him a common question they’d ask anyone – potential mate, new friend, stranger, – and now lists his career in his profile. Yet somehow he’s mad because Ashley 1. asked about it and 2. didn’t already notice it in his profile. Something tells me this guy isn’t a stranger to court-order anger management classes.

Via Bumble.

Cheers to Ashley for keeping it classy and responding in a calm manner.

Via Bumble.

Welp, so much for rising above this asshat’s abusive commentary. Ashley’s intelligent and thoughtful response only angered him more. If “gold-digging whores” is a phrase you use often it’s safe to say you aren’t ready for love. Connor is ready for some psychological help, though. And with all that money he’s allegedly making, there’s no reason to delay.

Bumble posted an open letter on their blog explaining the concept of working women to Connor. “Take a seat, because this concept may blow your mind. Women nowadays work. It’s happened over time, we know, but a vast majority of women from our generation have jobs,” the letter says.

“With that in mind — and knowing that Ashley simply mentioned work in the conversation — we can gather that she wasn’t hoping to figure out if your wallet was sizeable enough for her to move into your house and start cooking dinner for you after vacuuming your living room while you clock in a 9 to 5 work day,” oh, whoever wrote this letter is good. “Instead, Ashley was (wait for it, Connor, because this is where things really get interesting), viewing herself as an equal. It might sound crazy, but people connect over the basic routines of life. You know… the weather, working out, grabbing a drink, eating, and working.”

While we wait for him to stop blaming Beyoncé and feminism for his shitty personality, Bumble went ahead and banned him from the app so he can’t harass any more women.

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