The CDC announced that masks are no longer required for fully vaccinated Americans. Here are some of the best jokes about it
In case you missed this news (really, things move pretty quickly in the news cycle lately), the CDC made a surprise announcement on Thursday, saying that people who are fully vaccinated no longer need to wear face masks or social distance, indoors or out, in most situations. The news was a little bit of a surprise, considering barely 35 percent of Americans are fully vaccinated and concerning virus variants are spreading rapidly around the world. But any step forward is a step forward, right?
“We have all longed for this moment,” Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said at a news conference announcing the decision. “If you are fully vaccinated, you can start doing the things that you had stopped doing because of the pandemic.”
“Today is a great day for America,” President Joe Biden said during a Rose Garden address where he and his staff did not wear masks. “If you are fully vaccinated, you no longer need to wear a mask. Get vaccinated – or wear a mask until you do.”
The news was met with some skepticism, plenty of joy — and so, so, so many jokes.
People had jokes about loosening mask mandates amid another national crisis that’s ongoing.
The CDC still recommends masks if you are pumping gas into 18 gallon storage bins at the Citgo.
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) May 14, 2021
new cdc guideline says fully vaccinated do not have to wear a mask when filling bags with gasoline
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) May 13, 2021
And plenty of jokes about how masks have allowed us to get away with putting minimal effort into our appearances for the last year and a half.
cdc couldn’t have give us a countdown? I look like shit
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) May 14, 2021
Pretty excited about the mask mandate going away… I can’t wait to come out to my Whole Foods cashier as a 4.
— C Spann (@chrisspannclean) May 13, 2021
personally i’ll still be wearing a mask in public until further notice because being freely ugly in peace is something i’m not willing to give up
— ︎joe (@jxeker) May 12, 2021
There were some, um, loose interpretations of what the CDC said is OK to do now.
cdc says start making out
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) May 13, 2021
The CDC just legalized fucking. This is big.
— lilsamsquanch (@lilsamsquanch66) May 13, 2021
The CDC says fully vaccinated people can keep buying new books even if they already have more unread books than any person could possibly read in one lifetime
— Molly Templeton (@mollytempleton) May 14, 2021
if you’re fully vaccinated, the cdc says you can release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin
— chance (@chanceisonline) May 13, 2021
The CDC says fully vaccinated people can DROP EVERYTHING NOW. MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN. KISS ME ON THE SIDEWALK. TAKE AWAY THE PAIN. CAUSE I SEE SPARKS FLY WHENEVER YOU SMILE’
— Phillip (@MajorPhilebrity) May 13, 2021
cdc says fully vaccinated ppl can smoke cigarettes indoors
— Queso (@djbitchtits) May 13, 2021
The CDC says you have to do exactly what you promised in your “me and the boys after we get the vaccine” post
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) May 14, 2021
cdc says that men who wear shorts must adhere to a maximum 7-inch inseam. i’m sorry, i don’t make the rules.
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) May 13, 2021
CDC says fully vaccinated people can have a little beer while driving
— doing sea shanty about doge coin and elon musk (@uncledoomer) May 14, 2021
Obviously, plenty more jokes about Future’s “Mask Off,” which you know is about to become the song of the summer, whether anyone actually wants that or not.
*if you're fully vaccinated
— adam harris (@AdamHSays) May 13, 2021
Can't wait for Mask Off to be the number 1 song in the world so then it will make sense why his name is Future
— Chief (@MrChief64) May 13, 2021
Even celebrities were getting in on the memes.
Ok now the CDC is saying my performance in Friends From College was underappreciated? This is crazy.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) May 13, 2021
Are we really ready to change something that’s been so fundamental about our lives for over a year? Maybe not, but we’re sure ready to make jokes about it on the internet!
what does the cdc have to say about those of us who are drawn to a different kind of mask, the masks we wore well before the pandemic. the masks we use to cover up the anguish of moving through a treacherous world. the masks that don't come off.
anyway thank you for this update https://t.co/i5RZE7p7uX
— Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) May 13, 2021
BREAKING NEWS: the CDC says everyone has to give me a kiss
— natalie (@natty__boh) May 13, 2021
the CDC says fully vaccinated people can go back. back to the beginning. back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned. 'cause perfect, didn't feel so perfect. trying to fit a square into a circle was no life. I defy… let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
— gabe bergado (@gabebergado) May 13, 2021
Proudly showing off my mouth now that masks aren’t required for vaccinated people pic.twitter.com/qXvz46cvDJ
— Rajat Suresh (@rajat_suresh) May 13, 2021
FOR SALE: good condition. only used once pic.twitter.com/wqp8OJvCOp
— James (@CaucasianJames) May 13, 2021
The CDC said pic.twitter.com/chQcus96wz
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) May 13, 2021
the CDC said you can take your mask off once you're vaccinated, but the mandate against making small talk with me remains in effect indefinitely.
— molly conger (@socialistdogmom) May 13, 2021
the CDC today: pic.twitter.com/V8kzc5xfwu
— crazy broke asian (@tribranchvo) May 13, 2021
So will we all be ditching our masks right away? Let’s hope not — that feels a little hasty. But will we have to finally start practicing wearing real pants again because it seems like the world may actually open up soon? Ugh, yes.
CDC recommends everyone start practicing wearing hard pants in 2-3 hour increments, working your way up to a full day
— Alison Willmore (@alisonwillmore) May 13, 2021