Stop Everything And Watch This Video Of Channing Tatum Discovering Astrology
Apparently this astrology app ‘The Pattern’ has Channing Tatum all figured out
Channing Tatum has some questions, folks. He sent a video tweet to his 8.5 million followers asking (begging) them to help him understand an astrology app he’d recently downloaded because it was so accurate, he’s pretty sure his phone is listening to his every word.
The actor, producer, and tall drink of water shared the video next to the caption, “Yo anybody know of this shit and can explain it to me! Cause WTF!”, asking anyone who knows anything about the astrology app The Pattern to contact him ASAP. “How do you know what you know about me Pattern?” Tatum asked. “People of The Pattern, people who use The Pattern, you need to DM me right now.”
“I don’t even know if anyone should know this stuff,” Tatum continued. “I was just in therapy yesterday — and yeah, I’m in therapy, whatever, everybody should be in therapy — and I just get a notification on my phone this morning – whoops — pops up, and, using the exact words we were using in therapy… Is the phone listening? Are you listening through the phone?” I don’t think he’s actually joking.
For those unaware, The Pattern is a free astrology app available in the App Store. It’s been around since 2017 but gained traction in 2018 when famous astrologers began promoting it.
“The Pattern is a social network that helps you better understand yourself and connect with others on a deeper level,” the app description reads. “Explore your Personal Pattern to gain insight about various sides of your personality. Your Timing offers an overview of what you’re going through at this moment in time. These cycles are personal to only you. Understanding these dynamics can help you to navigate the difficult times and take advantage of the positive opportunities that you might otherwise miss.”
All you need to do is enter your name, gender, and the exact date, time, and place of birth and The Pattern does the rest. I, like many others who saw Tatum’s tweet, immediately called my mom asking for my time of birth because this is apparently how I’m planning to spend my Saturday.
People responding to Tatum were equally as impressed, touting its powers and just generally teasing him about his shock:
Users should know the app can act as a social network, allowing you to connect with friends, significant others, and anyone you allow, which will show you the compatibility of these relationships. If you’re not ready for that level of detail about certain relationships, you may want to take a hard pass on that part of the programming because once you know, you can’t unknow.
“You know what, Pattern people, you should just call me. That’s what should happen right now,” Tatum continued. “You should just DM me… If you know so much, you know how to DM me. I need answers right now.”
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