Did hell freeze over? Are pigs flying? Gwyneth Paltrow sat down to talk to a bunch of bloggers at a huge conference in NYC last week, and she actually said something relatable when she discussed co-parenting and how difficult it is.
Regarding her split with Chris Martin and how they handle parenting the children she said, “It’s been hard, and you know, we’ve gone through really difficult times with it but we’ve always said, ‘These children are our priority.'” And when speaking about the reality of co-parenting, she had an explanation that pretty much sums up exactly what it is to parent children with someone you are no longer romantically involved with: “What that really means is, ‘Even though today, you hate me and you never want to see me again, like, we’re going to brunch, ’cause it’s Sunday and that’s what we’ll do!'” She added. “The children are our commitment.”
She’s so right. There is a vow you take when you have children – and it’s one that’s unbreakable. It’s the vow between yourself and your child – that you’ll always do the best for them. Co-parenting is hard – it sucks. But it’s something that just has to succeed when a romantic relationship involving kids comes to an end.
Yup, co-parenting is having brunch because it’s Sunday and “that’s what you do.” It’s other things, too…
Co-parenting is making that phone call you don’t feel like making because you know your kid wants to hear their mom or dad’s voice on the phone before they go to sleep.
Co-parenting is putting your kids first.
Co-parenting is forcing yourself to continue to see all the things you loved about your child’s other parent, so your kids can see them, too.
Co-parenting is sucking up your own feelings and ego.
Co-parenting is letting go.
Co-parenting is being reminded of your relationship and how it didn’t work out – forever and ever amen.
Co-parenting is not always having to have the last word.
Co-parenting is smiling when you want to cry (or yell).
Co-parenting is a promise you make your child — that they don’t even know about.
Co-parenting is seeing someone you’re no longer in love with in your child’s features – and coming to terms with that.
Co-parenting is a small success you should congratulate yourself for, daily.
It’s not easy. But you’re doing it for your kids.
If you’re a parent who daily puts aside little annoyances, heartbreaks, and disappointments so you can successfully parent your child with someone you are no longer in a relationship with – good job. That counts for you too, Gwyneth.