This mattress is a dream for families that co-sleep
If you’re a parent that co-sleeps with their kids, no matter how much you love it, one thing is probably true — you need more space.
Fear not. There’s a solution for families with several heads in the bed, and as long as you’re kind of a baller, it can be all yours.
That’s right — for the not-so-low price of $2000-4500, you can own a ridiculously gigantic mattress designed to accommodate a set of parents and many additional small people. Thanks to a company called The Ace Collection, families that co-sleep are no longer forced to rig up a sleeping situation that fits everyone who needs to fit.
Well holy shit, right? That is A Bed. Unless your master bedroom is a cavernous Chip and Joanna-style space, this puppy will probably take up most of the room it’s in, but what’s a good night’s sleep for the whole family worth to you? For any parent currently suffering from a small child doing a starfish pose with one foot shoved under the waistband of Mommy’s pajama pants and one hand covering Daddy’s face, the answer is ALL OF OUR MONEY. And all of our bedroom square footage.
The beds come in Ace Size and Ace Family Size, denoted by inches, and in case you’re as great of a math student as I was (which is to say, I sweat when it’s time to calculate a tip) these beds are either nine or 12 feet wide.
There’s also the “Ace Player” size, which is just the Ace Size rotated 90 degrees, which I guess is a handy option if you’re 12 feet tall? Either way, fun to have choices in life.
The site helpfully sells bed frames and bedding, which is a good thing since probably no other regular store could accommodate your mattress fit for those Wildling giants from Game of Thrones. One fitted sheet will run you a staggering $250, but when you’ve just spent four large on a mattress and an extra $500 on a metal frame or $5000 for a huge headboard and bed base, what’s another quarter of a grand between friends?
I have to admit, they do look pretty boss, and once the kids are teenagers and sleeping in their own beds (which I assume happens one day?) a couple is left with a bed fit for an entire marriage. Once one partner is a snoring menace, they can be banished to literally 12 feet away. You’re together, but apart. It’s a beautiful thing.
While most co-sleeping families without a Kardashian-level bankroll are probably dealing with a life that includes two mattresses pushed together and a bunch of random bedding, this is a great option for those who can afford it. And hey, you spend something like a third of your life sleeping (not if you have kids though, amiright?) so thousands of dollars might be a sound investment for families that plan to co-sleep for the next several years.
If you can swing it and need the space, know that this bed exists. You’re welcome.