Love is a wonderful thing. Michael Bolton sang those words and regardless of your thoughts on Michael Bolton, he was right about that. But love isn’t everything when it comes to sustaining a healthy and loving relationship over the long haul. While the first ingredient of a union is typically chemistry, what will really allow your relationship to cook is compatibility. While you don’t have to be 100 percent compatible in order to share a long-term commitment, there are a few areas that will make it easier to go the distance. Basically, when the going gets tough, the chemistry you first share might go out the window but it’s the compatibility that will bring you closer together. Wondering if you and your boo are compatible? Read on for six signs of a compatible relationship.
1. You Share the Same Core Values
From finances to marriage to kids to where you want to put down roots, or if you want to put down roots, it’s key that your core values align with each other’s. For example, you both are on the same page when it comes to spending versus saving, buying a home or renting, or getting married or not. These values provide the foundation of your relationship and will set you on the course towards a shared vision that will feel fulfilling to both of you.
2. You Have Sex Regularly
Besides fighting over money, issues surrounding sex and intimacy are what couples most fight about. Which is why having a regular sex life that satisfies both of you is key to a compatible relationship. Talking about your sexual desires and needs is important, and that also includes listening with compassion and allowing one another to be vulnerable. A happy sex life is a large part of long-term bliss.
3. You Don’t Want to Change Each Other
This includes everything from the small quirks (e.g. your partner forgets to put away the dishes) to the larger issues at hand (e.g. your partner has trouble with communicating their feelings). As much as we like to think we can change a person, we can’t. But more importantly: why would you want to? If you’re constantly seeking your partner to change then you’re not actually in love with them but a version of who you would like them to be. Respecting and accepting your partner as who they are, warts and all, is a major sign of compatibility. If you find yourself nitpicking and complaining about what they do or don’t do, then you might not be as in sync as you think.
4. You Share Common Interests
While it’s not likely you’ll have everything in common with your partner — and it’s key to have separate interests outside of your relationship — it does help if you’re able to enjoy some activities and/or hobbies together. Being able to share in something together, whether it’s cooking or hiking, is an essential part of a relationship’s long-term success. After all, the couple who plays together, stays together.
5. You Want to Work Out Serious Stuff
A couple who’s truly compatible is not only unafraid to argue but is also willing to put in the necessary work to solve some serious issues and conflicts. This means seeking compromises and maybe even going to couple’s therapy. Basically, you two are down for doing what needs to be done for the good of the relationship rather than the individual. You see each other as a team unit so you’re not afraid to take responsibility and apologize, and make up as fast as you can.
6. You’re Committed to Growing Together
Life requires growth. A lot of couples break up because one partner is staying stagnant and unwilling to change while the other person is committed to their evolution. Or maybe you expect your partner, and even your relationship, to stay the same when you first met five or ten years ago. The fact is, most people change, and so will your relationship, and that’s okay! Fulfilling and truly compatible relationships are those that allow individual growth as well as support the growth of the relationship.