Parenting

From The Confessional: A Lot Of Moms Are Married To Mama's Boys

by Cassandra Stone
Zinkevych/Getty

When your man needs more mothering than your kids do, you’ve probably got a big ol’ Mama’s Boy on your hands

Let’s just get this out of the way: this is not about shaming men who are close to their mothers or hold them in high regard. Functional, healthy relationships between adult children and their parents is something to celebrate and aspire to, tbh. But on the flip side of that coin is the whole “mama’s boy” thing.

You know the type. He never had to clean up after himself, he could do no wrong, and for “some reason” (*cough* FREUD *cough*) his mom was closer to her baby boy than her daughters. Men who are close to their mothers are typically more empathetic, more respectful of their partners, and are likely less subscribed to toxic masculinity.

Men who are mama’s boys can be borderline enmeshed with her, dysfunctional in many ways, and have unhealthy attachments with a clear lack of boundaries. Many of these moms are married to them, and they have HAD IT.

I wished I never married my husband! He used to be nice, now he's a fucking mama's boy with no mind of his own.

Confessional #25805043

H wants to know why I am angry at him. How about, last your when your mom announced on Facebook that I was PG before me. Yes, I am still mad that you didn't stick up for us. Go back and live with your mama, you mama's boy.

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I *really* don't understand pathological mama's boys who have bitch moms who do nothing for them except treat them like a fucked up backup husband.

Confessional #19029015

I know I nag and criticize DH too much. But I was a latchkey kid at 8 and he's a 50 year old mama's boy. He does so many things wrong, things every adult should know, and it makes my life harder. Stick to making $ and leave reality to me, doofus.

Confessional #18873791

Is being a “mama’s child” exclusive to just boys/men? LOL NO OF COURSE NOT. There are plenty of codependent, insecurely attached, enmeshed, dysfunctional adult children of all genders who do not have a grasp on independent coping skills or a sense of healthy boundaries. It’s very much a thing!

But this post isn’t about them. These confessions are reserved strictly for the husbands, because the women married to them are ready to explode.

It's ALL about DH, but he doesn't SEE that, let alone agree. Our marriage is doomed. Not his fault he's a mama's boy, but the effects are real. A true narcissist, man-child! I pity him, b/c he really thinks he's a nice guy. He has no idea. Ironic.

Confessional #16636601

I am Pregnant! We told my mother in law. She posted it on FaceBook. We have not. DH does not understand why I am royally pissed. Stupid mama's boy.

Confessional #12108342

DB is blind when it comes to his mother. He wants to see the best in her and needs to be realistic. She destroyed his previous relationships. I love him more than anything, but I will walk away if he allows her to disrespect me. I deserve better.

Confessional #25784329

H does nothing for me on mother's day, because I'm not HIS mother. Thank God, she's a raging bitch.

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If your husband puts his mom before you, tells her things you don’t want him to tell her, and cannot ever hear even the slightest criticism about her — well congrats, you’ve landed yourself a mama’s boy. Some of them can be de-programmed a bit, and at least learn how to redirect their loyalties to the family they create and not their family of origin.

And some are just plain hopeless.

I'm scared of dying, but I realize WHY--I don't want H trying to raise DD becuz he's completely inept at being a parent. I certainly also DON'T want his mother coming to help with DD becuz SHE'S the reason he's inept-he got it from HER. THIS is terror.

Confessional #25773781

Our whole relationship basically revolves around how his MOTHER is feeling that day. FML. how do I help him in this situation when his mother is a rude and openly racist bitch who only likes to hear herself talk and other people agreeing w her. FUUUUUUCK

Confessional #25765805

I swear to God my H is a fucking Mama's boy idiot. I want a fucking Mulligan.

Confessional #25764735

I'm not raising my sons to be mommy's boys.. or to make up for the emotional ties I don't have with my SO. I'm raising them to be great dads , husbands , friends and people. Empathetic,nurturing, respectful, responsible and accountable.

Confessional #24673415

If you’re seeing constant red flags regarding mommy issues and your spouse, they should’t go unaddressed. Counseling can help determine safe, healthy boundaries and functional coping mechanisms.

In the meantime, our Confessional is always here for you.