Mom’s post nails why we shouldn’t have to ask for help
If you’ve ever lived with another person, you’ve inevitably fought about who’s pulling their weight more around the house. If you have kids, chances are higher (read: 100%) you’ve had this argument with your partner because there is so much more to do. One blogger perfectly captures what it feels like when you are the one who feels as if they are doing, well, everything.
Blogger and Australian mom of four (soon to be five), Constance Hall, posted an emotional (and rightly so) rant on her Facebook page about what it feels like to do everything around the house. It’s a sentiment felt by many moms who feel like they’re carrying the load, both mentally and physically, for everyone.
Hall said she was bitching to friends about the fact that she does absolutely everything and one of them told her if she wanted help to, “‘be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers.'”
So she did.
“‘Can you take the bin out? Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years. Can you go to woolies? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond,'” she writes.
She said shit did get done but that it was exhausting to trying to keep up with it all, constantly reminding her partner what needed to be done, so she stopped. And it doesn’t take a crystal ball to figure out what happened next.
“NOTHING,” she writes. “Again.”
Frustrated, Hall continues, “And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write fucking lists.. We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.”
This is not an uncommon occurrence. I have many friends who do it all after years of asking for help. They’ve tried just not doing things, leaving laundry to pile up or not emptying the dishwasher, and guess what? The laundry continues to pile up and the dishes don’t get done.
Hall goes on to say, “Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house. Is one of you carrying the weight? Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists. All your [sic] left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer.”
“It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That’s your job,” she concludes. And it really isn’t. If you see someone busting their ass, get up off yours and do something. Help out. It’s not that tough. “Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers,” Hall writes.
Amen to that.