Cotton Candy Cap'n Crunch Is Coming And Who Are We Kidding, We'll Buy It

by Julie Scagell
Originally Published: 
Image via Instagram/Cereal Life

They took Cap’n Crunch and made it…extra

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? While we all want to make sure we’re putting a healthy mix of protein and carbs into our bodies to start the day off right, the Quaker Oats Company had to go and ruin it for us all by introducing a new cereal meets carnie — Cotton Candy Crunch.

This magical party in your mouth has been spotted on several Instagram accounts. Cerealouslynet posted about it recently, giving credit to JunkFoodAisle who originally introduced it to the social media-verse. “Cereal on a spoon is basically just airy candy on a stick already, right? Coming soon from Cap’n Crunch! ”

“Wait, this is just a giant sugar bomb I’d be feeding my kids first this in the morning,” you may be saying to yourself. (And you’d be right.) But it’s cereal. It’s meant to be enjoyed occasionally, which my 13-year-old defines as three times a day. After a long day of work, activities, after-school commitments, and making dinner that at least one of three kids refuses to eat, I’m cool with a bowl of cereal. There’s a lot of battles to pick – this isn’t one of them.

Cotton Candy Crunch isn’t the first sugar bomb to hit shelves in recent years. Sour Patch Kids cereal became an actual thing because sometimes marketing people are geniuses and know what sells. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Since you can buy a ten-pound bag of cotton candy topping to smash all over your ice cream, it only makes sense that you can buy it in breakfast form. Maybe it’s just me but I could murder one of these in the middle of a Netflix binge-watching episode or even on a regular Tuesday night before bed. Who needs sleep anyways?

With the manufacturers making Oops All Berries, Giant Size Crunch Berries, Christmas Crunch, and Peanut Butter Crunch (among others), we needed a new and exciting way to scrape the shit out of the roofs of our mouths — and they most surely delivered.

The corn and oat cereal looks to come in giant pink and blue puffballs, but the boxes pictures thus far say “sample sale” on them so it’s anyone’s guess what the final product will look like. And really, who cares. It will taste like the sweet, sweet sugar air of state fairs gone by. There’s also no ETA on when these will hit shelves but here’s hoping.

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