Damn, That’s an Ugly Baby

c-section-real

I didn’t want to have an ugly baby. Having an ugly baby was definitely not in my Birthing Master Plan. In fact, I was confident that my baby was going to be luminously beautiful–hybrid babies always are.

Doubt the beauty of hybrid babies? Two words for you: Halle Berry. Two more words: Lenny Kravitz. Yeah. That genetic cocktail brewing in my belly? Killer. Genius, even. Would my magnificent creation come out wearing Elie Saab, I wondered?

The first indication that something might be amiss happened after I gave the final push (yelling “Motherfucker!” in my husband’s general direction) and the first word out of the nurse’s mouth was, “Whoa.”

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I waited for it. I waited for, “Look at that beautiful baby girl!” I waited for them to place her stunning little body on my chest so I could admire her.

Instead, the nurse hustled her to the weighing station and hissed at the obstetrician, “I thought you said this baby was term.”

So I’m waiting, spread-eagled.

Then the attending nurse exclaims, “Awww. She’s got a Mongolian spot on her butt……boy, that’s a whopper.”

Hello! Waiting here and where the Hell is my champagne?

Curious, my husband ambles over. And then I hear the sonorous sound of his laughter. “Okay, that puppy needed at least another month in there,” he says.

Give. Me. Alcohol. And while you’re at it, can you fork over my dang kid?

“The Apgar’s good,” the head nurse chirps helpfully.

My mother decides to get in on the action. “What’s this Mongolian thinga–?” Damned if she doesn’t giggle, too. “Ronald,” she calls to my father (who is out of the room, terrorized by the birthing process), “The baby has your belly.”

My father oozes into the room. He doesn’t laugh.

“Is it because she came out so fast?” he whispers.

“Like a West German on the luge,” my husband snorts.

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The OB is still hunkered between my splayed legs, waiting for whatever gunk needs to come out, and suddenly, I’m royally pissed off.

“Give me my champagne and my baby, you morons!” I holler.

So they do.

It’s a good thing I demanded alcohol, because damn, that’s an ugly baby.

But then I look into those big eyes and that little monkey face, and it’s not so bad and…she shits all over my chest.

Welcome to the world, ugly baby. I vow to love you anyway.

About the writer

@thekitchwitch

Dana Talusani is a former teacher and former personal chef. She traded in her suits and her aprons to stay home and wipe little butts. She lives in the Rocky Mountains and serves up snark on her blog, The Kitchen Witch.

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shan 7 months ago

TLC the little couple shows son William Klein is the ugliest little kid on the planet, whats worse they make him invert his hands and make monkey sounds thats a fugly kid…he grows uglier with age but definately looked like a monchi monchi monkey when he was younger.

Bridget 12 months ago

My nephew had the old man look when he was born and now he is good looking! My niece had a small bald spot and dark hair. She also had a 3rd nipple. The bald spot was surgically fixed and both kids are very attractive!

LDon Allen 1 year ago

I laughed out loud at this one. After pushing for almost 2 hours I was just glad the monster was out and will admit my first thought was, “Don’t you put that bloody, goopy mess on me. Clean that thing up first.” She looked pissed for about a week and then got cute.

Penny Kirby Spencer 1 year ago

Once they are washed and bundled, of course they are all beautiful. Jim used to say they looked like a fried running shoe, bless his heart! I can laugh at that now when I say it!!

John Matthews 1 year ago

A Baby that just arrived is not ugly, they just need a little shower and put on their happy face.

Mary Shipman 1 year ago

Lol my babies were and are gorgeous! My last/final baby was born in Oct. This is her a couple hrs old! I think my babies come out absolutely beautiful! & yes…I’m biased 😉

Linda Kendall-Thompson 1 year ago

My daughter was a week overdue when the Dr decided to induce. 36 hrs later, after an emergency c-section, my little girl entered the world. And she was frighteningly ugly. She had a fine pelt that covered her whole body, I could not distinguish if she had eyebrows. After trying to get out for 36 hrs, she had a definite conehead. And she had the largest, red, cresent-shapped, Angel kiss right between her eyes and covering her entire forehead that made her look angrier than heck, too. And underneath that crazy pelt of hair down her spinal column, was a huge Mongolian spot. If I weren’t so exhausted and loopy on drugs, I would have probably been depressed. But I just counciled myself that I have never seen a person, outside of the historical circus freak photos, that looked like this so she would probably grow out of it. Pleased to say within 4 weeks, the fine pelt had fallen out and I could see her eyebrows. By 4 yrs of age her Angel kiss had faded and only made special appearances when she cried. 17yrs later she is very, very, attractive girl. Folks outside the family can’t believe she was ever an ugly baby.

Kelly Alexandra Abrego 1 year ago

Lmao, it takes time for newborn babies to develop their cuteness…

Alysha Ross 1 year ago

bahahaha, now thats a realistic birthing story 😀

Shannon Williams 1 year ago

My daughter was 2lb 7 oz at birth and 23 inches.and look like a alien.when they first let me see her.I said who baby? not mine.Lol.

Melissa Scully 1 year ago

When my son was born I was so messed up from the c-section I kept looking at my son thinking -oh my god … He doesn’t have a bottom lip- what’s wrong with him why hasn’t anyone said anything!?!-

Turns out he was sucking his lip in and I was just drugged up lol – my son was actually pretty darn cute ❤️

Kristie Corson 1 year ago

I was totally prepared for an ugly baby. After all, biospermdonor loser was not exactly nice to look at. But when they handed my best friend (now husband, and best daddy ever) our son we were both shocked by how adorable he was. Even as a newborn. The nurses loved him because he was so agreeable and always pleasant, they kept him at the nurses station instead of the nursery when he wasn’t in our room because he was so chilled and laid back! After my sister in law gave birth to quite possibly the scariest, ugliest baby I’ve ever seen, I had serious fears. (Sadly, he never outgrew the terrible infant photos.. Sure, the cone head and goo went away but it was replaced by giant buck teeth and a homely face…yikes. Poor kid.)

I’m just glad our son turned out to be beautiful and extremely laid back and well behaved. We were very lucky to get such a wonderful kid out of what started out as an awful and abusive situation. And we ended up with full legal custody, thank god.

Most ugly newborns turn out find, I’ve seen quite a few that have to grow into their features!

Marina Ramalho 1 year ago

Too funny!

Karen Marrello 1 year ago

My oldest child was sooo definitely not a cute newborn… think Sloth from the Goonies, complete with smashed and seriously bruised nose and gigantic cone head. I mean gigantic. My thoughts when they held him up in the delivery room? “I went through all this for THAT?!?”

Thank God in 4 or 5 days he was absolutely adorable, save some residual bruising. Lol

Teri Ludwig 1 year ago

I had 4 cute babies, and one hairy, yellow, monkey-baby. I was NOT expecting my second child to look like that. She had the hair thing going on from her shoulders to her butt cheeks, and then the hair on her head fell out and it was such a disturbing look for an infant. She grew out of it, and has gone on to become a stunning young woman. She thinks it’s funny how awkward her baby pictures are.

Joelle Wisler 1 year ago

Yay Dana! Love it. Happy Scary Mommy day!

Emily Rose 1 year ago

My first was overcooked so he was cute, my second looked like a Bulldog for a day or so!

Jamie White 1 year ago

My lil diva looked like a cone head. Thank goodness she got a nice round head now

Boys4J9 1 year ago

My first was a forceps delivery and looked a little alien like while my second son came out perfectly (unlike my labor and delivery). My sister in law quipped that she wished her girls looked this beautiful at birth. I didn’t know what to say because they were ugly babies (smushed noses, discolored skin, swollen eyes) Luckily they are super cute 7 and 4 yr olds.

Michelle Markey 1 year ago

All living newborns are beautiful to me, but it’s true that they don’t look like the ones on TV. Mainly because the actor babies on TV aren’t newborns.

Annette 1 year ago

My oldest was a gorgeous hybrid baby. Big brown eyes, olive skin and perfect shiny hair. The next 2? Holy crap. My middle child liked exactly like my father – in – law and the youngest like a little red tick ready to pop.

Stacy Grooms 1 year ago

Totally grew into her face :)

Lisa 1 year ago

HAHAHA
We call our DD ‘Alien baby’ whenever we see her newborn (like right out of me) photos. She was still cute to me but did have that old man look to her for a little bit hehe

Michelle Walker 1 year ago

Mine was pretty cute

Ashley Quattrochi 1 year ago

You shoud do the ugly baby contest again!!!

Lindsey Pottinger 1 year ago

Damn.

Sherri Klippenstein Laliberte 1 year ago

My 3 c-section babies were gorgeous.

Gina 1 year ago

My girl was two weeks late and got stuck an hour into me pushing. She was peeling everywhere and her head was shaped like a pro bicycle helmet. She plumped up pretty quick though so she at least looked like a baby instead of a giant featherless bird lol.

Shelby Shelby 1 year ago

Newborns are never pretty!
After a few hours or days, maybe, but fresh out – no way!

Sara O’Brien Farmer 1 year ago

My daughter really was beautiful from the moment of birth. We only have maybe 2 pics where she has that weird newborn look. We thought my son was beautiful (and he really was), but when we looked back at his pics later, they were a little different than we remembered. He was a bit rough around the edges at first. :)

Wilma Rodriguez-Linton 1 year ago

My poor girl was the ugliest bag of bones I’d ever seen and it took her a couple months to get over that. She’s spankin’ spectacular now at the time I couldn’t bring myself to even take pictures of her. Poor thing.

Mari Wood 1 year ago

My first son, I never even sent out the hospital pictures with the birth announcements, he looked liked Mr Magoo, he had to grow into his nose. Of course he did and he was the cutest thing ever.

Mandy Engelbrecht 1 year ago

thank heavens for an emergency c-section so he was perfect by the time I woke up lol…

erin 1 year ago

When my ds8 was born early and severely undersized for gestation he looked like Montgomery Burns off the Simpsons… Receding hairline beak like nose and full of wrinkly loose skin…. I cried he was so ugly… I laugh now but I kept him covered head to toe with only his face peaking out for at least 3 months…

Victoria Gilles France 1 year ago

My first was so gorgeous when she was born. Having an extra two weeks helps them look cuter. When I first saw my second I thought he was awful looking. He was two weeks early with chicken legs and gray skin. His neck was all wrinkly and thin like a tortoise. Then he fattened up and now is very cute. But it shocked the hell out of me!

Christa Cecilia Parra 1 year ago

Newborns look like baby aliens

Kimberly Webb 1 year ago

I have never thought that because it just isn’t true. My 3 kiddos are all gorgeous NOW, but when they were born they were not cute at all. My oldest son looked like a lizard, the middlest looked like a plucked chicken with bug eyes and the youngest looked like a mashed jack o lantern. ^_^

Hailee Storm 1 year ago

I thought my mouse was cute as heck too when she was born!!

Siwsan Gimprich 1 year ago

When we had our first, I wandered down to the nursery window and front and center was this 15 lb creature with great tufts of black bristles in a Mohawk of sorts. My husband and I agreed that his parents probably had snuck out of the hospital in the middle of the night. We would have!

Bonnie Flesher 1 year ago

Too funny!! I laughed and snorted!

Cristy Fix 1 year ago

Hahaha! My second was all bloated, squished, and bruised. By the second day my best friend called him ET! I loved him anyway even then, and now he’s beautiful. But….wow!

Alysia King 1 year ago

I once had an ugly newborn 14 years ago on may 5th. She is pretty young lady now…

Amanda Gadoury 1 year ago

My first born looked like the alien baby Will Smith delivered in Men in Black … the baby squid. Yep. I was excited because I love that movie lol

JuAune C Thompson 1 year ago

My oldest was as cone head mush monster. Hes gorgeous now.

Tracy Reali 1 year ago

LMAO!!!

Yana Duffy 1 year ago

My daughter was beautiful. Perfect even. She was 8 lb 15.5 oz so she had no wrinkles.. They were all filled out. My mom said.. Wow. She’s cuter than all 5 of my kids ever were. I couldn’t even believe I could make something that adorable. But boy was she hairy! Her back and shoulders mostly. LOL. She had a patch of dark hair right above her butt crack and between her shoulders. Her back was all fuzzy and her her newborn pictures with her back and butt in the air are hilarious. I can’t even hang them up. My dad is Armenian. So we joke that it was her Armenian blood.

Meg Michelle 1 year ago

My little man was so swollen when he was born he was not cute at all lol I thought he was beautiful at the time but looking back at photos now im like damn he was kind of ugly the first week LOL (c-section 10 lbs 1 oz baby)

Sara Nelson 1 year ago

My oldest was vacuum assisted out so she had a major cone head and it wasn’t even even. It was off to the side because she was also born “sunny side up” not to mention the huge hickey/bruise left by the suction cup. She looked like a giant leech just fed off of her head. And she had tons of dark hair. But she’s a beautiful 12 year old now. :) my two boys both looked like fat angry old men (receding hair lines and all). Now they are handsome and oh so charming at 9 and 3 :)

Sara Jensen Langley 1 year ago

My girls were both gorgeous…my oldest looked like a perfect porcelain doll, my second was the oddball…at least 2 lbs bigger than the other two, tons n tons of looong black curls, she looked Samoan, but so pretty….my son however, he took some time to grow into himself, but after a few weeks he turned out to be quite a little stud!”I’m not gonna lie….I got some good lookin offspring! :)

candace ortiz 1 year ago

I remember assuming I’d have an ugly baby because so many are in the beginning. My brother looked like a balding, ape-like Elvis Presley, but by 6 months he was cuter than any baby models.
When my son was born I was shocked at how gorgeous he was. I thought it must just be me, “I’m his mom, I just have mom goggles”, I thought. But my sister leaned in and said “Oh thank God! I was terrified that I would have to lie to you and tell you your baby is cute when it really wasn’t but holy crap that’s a beautiful baby!”
Other ones in the nursery were not as fortunate.
Now I’m pregnant with #2 and hoping he’s just as gorgeous as big brother, but I’m not delusional to think I’ll luck out twice lol
They all get cute eventually anyways :)

Susan McBride 1 year ago

My little ducking… now swan lol

Leslie Sansom 1 year ago

No. No newborn is beautiful. Childbirth is not beautiful. A clean newborn in his mothers arms is beautiful, but a bloody, gooey, covered in yuck baby, is yucky. I love it when I see a pic of a newborn and someone comments, “oh she has your nose”,….because, no she doesn’t,…they all look the same! Maybe in a few days or weeks things will start to change, but fresh out of the birth canal,…they all look alike.

Ronnie Bruens 1 year ago

HELL NO!!!! I’ve seen 1 new born that was good looking– and it was not even my child!!!! My 3 were ugly when 1st born, ok after a few days, and good looking babies after a few weeks. to me, that is. they might still have been ugly to someone else! :)

Kate Wustman 1 year ago

My oldest really was beautiful. As the doctor was pulling him out she said “wow, he’s actually cute!”

Helen Russo 1 year ago

ALL newborns are simultaneously the ugliest and most beautiful thing on the planet…I look back at my dd’s newborn photos, and realize she really wasn’t a very pretty thing, but to me? Abso-freaking-lutely without a doubt the MOST beautiful miracle on the planet!

Victoria M. 1 year ago

My daughter came out with narrow little eyes, huge swollen lips, and covered in hair. I just kept looking at her thinking nooo, she’s supposed to be pretty! Gdi, she’s ugly. Then later in my room, I watched a documentary on snow monkeys and I’ll be damned if the babies didn’t look exactly like my newborn. 2mo old now and she’s cute as a button. Except for these ears that stick straight out from her head.

Claudia Ramirez 1 year ago

When my daughter was born my family called her Gizmo because they said she looked like a gremlin :) now she’s 5 and she’s called the ugly duckling that turned into a beautiful swan.

Christine Marie Short 1 year ago

Lmfao yessss

Vanessa Serrano 1 year ago

Both my babies were ugly cone headed weirdos. But they grew up to be really cute.

Jennifer Melin Ollanketo 1 year ago

No, not cute when they first come out – all mushed, discolored – I have never seen a good “newborn” picture taken at the hospital – give them a few days to get some color, fill out, let their bodies readjust.

JD Katsonis 1 year ago

My daughter looked like a toucan.

Katie Brockman 1 year ago

I birthed a old man but now hes beautiful :)

Valerie Owens 1 year ago

“It’s a good thing I had my alcohol because damn, that’s an ugly baby.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lisa Kiddey 1 year ago

My youngest looked like Mel Brooks when he was born, hahahahaha!

Nicki Wiley 1 year ago

Lol

Cheryl Tania Beck 1 year ago

Giggling while reading this. My son was a pretty boy. I just freaked out on the conehead part. LOL. His sister was born via c-section so she was round.

Shawnda Gerold 1 year ago

My daughter was a gorgeous baby so I thought for sure my son would be too but nope he came out looking like Mr. Magoo with Will Smith ears. He has gotten cuter though.

Vicky Lynn 1 year ago

My first daughter came out looking like Tinkerbell. Big blue eyes, tuft of curly blond hair, rosey cheeks. My second daughter, born 14 months later…looked like a middle aged man with a drinking problem.

Karen 1 year ago

My eldest (a boy) looked like a splotchy Popeye but his head was nice and round so I was happy. My youngest (a girl) looked like Walter Matthau in his later years! They both had back hair and only Mohawks on their heads. They were scrawny but then became super fat triple-chin babies! Normal to skinny now.

Danielle Head Kabernik 1 year ago

Hahaha my son was so ugly…cone head and dark hair all over him, even on his forehead! He looked like a hairy version of my mother in law with no teeth!! I didn’t tell anyone I thought he was ugly, then found out later that my husband secretly thought he was ugly too! Thankfully his head rounded nicely and all that hair ended up shedding off; now at 3 years old, people stop me to tell me how cute or handsome he is…whew, thank God lol

Lisa Norris 1 year ago

My now 13 yr old daughters hospital photos made her look like my old horrid MIL. To this day they are at the bottom of a box in the deepest darkest part on my home. Needless to say she turned into a adorable baby and a beautiful young woman.

Vanessa 1 year ago

My first went from this impossibly beautiful baby to a wrinkly old man in two days. He looks like a doll in the pics we have from the hospital, then we get home and “look, its Benjamin Button.” Still adorable though.

Katie Anderson 1 year ago

mine looked like a old man just like my dad and his nose was bigger than my belly lol! but after few weeks he turned to most cute baby, thank God! lol

Tracy Cavallari 1 year ago

2 of my 3 were typically homely, but my second born was just about the prettiest newborn ever. The whole time we were in the hospital, random people (doctors, nurses, families of other patients) kept coming in asking to see this gorgeous baby they’d heard about. The kicker? There was a set of identical triplets born on the ward the same day…..but everyone wanted to see MY baby!

Neva Kayaani 1 year ago

Lol! Thanks for sharing.

Melissa Joyce 1 year ago

My son looked like a little mobster. He did eventually get cuter.

Liz Marie 1 year ago

My babies were adorable, and both are beautiful children, thank goodness they didnt come out like the parents! Lmao

Michelle Oakleaf 1 year ago

My son was always adorable! Guess I’m just lucky 😉

Carissa 1 year ago

Although very cone headed (because he was playing peek-a-boo) my baby was chunky like the ones you see on tv so he wasn’t so ugly. Of course he had a slight old man look with no hair but the cubby cheeks made him a squishy cute baby from birth.

Connie Plaskett 1 year ago

It’s not of looks but the feeling inside that is beautiful

Angel O’Farrell 1 year ago

My son was nice and full and had nice skin, beautiful! Even the nurses were complimenting on how beautiful he was! My daughter on the other hand….she was skinny and red and weird looking, looked like an ugly monkey lol. Now she is 4yrs old and shes a beautiful blonde haired blue eyed beauty :)

Jen Parker 1 year ago

Lmao my biggest fear was that I would have an ugly baby. I got the oppposite- people still ask if my little boy is a girl. He will be all decked out in blue, and people have said, “What a cute girl!”. Ha ha, God. You showed me!

Steph Lane 1 year ago

I thought my son was absolutely gorgeous when he was born. Except for the big cone head.

Asia Burnett 1 year ago

My second one looked like a frog. Lol

Gabrielle Harrell Butler 1 year ago

I had two uglies. The first looked like a spider monkey. With a toupee. Lol!! The second was a fatty, but had hair like Ben Franklin. But after a couple months they were beautiful. I just hid them for a while!!! Lol!!!!!!

Amber Dawn Thompson 1 year ago

Lmao

Liz Johnson 1 year ago

This had me giggling the entire time! No matter how ugly those newborns are, they are yours and beautiful the second you lock eyes!

Janet VanSant 1 year ago

Clean up and will be beautiful !!

Missy 1 year ago

I remember my first baby being soooo beautiful. I just knew she was the most gorgeous baby in the world.
A year later when I was going through pictures for a birthday collage I actually deleted some pictures from her first week so they couldn’t be used against her later. My beautiful little girl looked like a hairy shriveled habanero pepper with a unibrow. Bless her.

She’s a gorgeous 5 yr old now.

Tramequa Surratt 1 year ago

Yes, I think all babies are cute.

Rachael Thorp 1 year ago

“All newborns look like a cross between a Winston Churchill and a potato;” an obstetrician friend who has delivered over 1000 babies. 😉

Tara Kleber 1 year ago

My first looked like a turtle

Rhiannon Gerald Artigas 1 year ago

I literally snorted.

Sarah Fritz-Maldonado 1 year ago

My son had the cone head and I flipped lol my daughter on the other hand was born looking like her father. evidently he makes a really pretty girl.

Amanda-jayne Bradbury 1 year ago

Owing to my lil man being born at 26 weeks he looked like a voodoo shrunken head thing bless him. Took him weeks to be cute!! Everyone would say aww he’s so cute and I would say ermm it’s ok he so isn’t just yet. X

Christine Say 1 year ago

They start getting cute around age two.

Lori Claxton Vintilescu 1 year ago

hahahahahaha, crash course in parenting: you MUST have a sense of humor!

Vicki 1 year ago

My.daughter was gorgeous when she came out, not even any blood and hardly any vernix either so when I had my son I was expecting him to be just as stunning. He wasn’t. He was premature slightly and only 5lbs and looked like a…I’m not even sure. He kind of got worse before he got better. He lost hair and had an old man face with severely receeded hairline. Eventually when he put weight on he was stunning but it was touch and go. He looked a little like Mr burns without the hook nose. Poor thing lol

Raashida Greer 1 year ago

Lmfaoooo

Sabrina 1 year ago

When my second was born my husband said “she looks like Gollum.” We laughed because I thought the same thing.

Mandy Woods 1 year ago

I remember thinking…. what?? His head was all funny looking BC he got stuck. He had old man hair like that guy off if seinfied. And his little ear was all curled up. Then my husband starts freaking out over the ear and I got defensive lol.

Amy Rebidue Blais 1 year ago

Oh.my.word. Hilarious!

Jessie Grinwis 1 year ago

I kept saying my second looked like a gnome

Amanda Hammon 1 year ago

All babies look like old men at some point between 0-6 mths. Don’t fool yourselves.

Mairead Walpole 1 year ago

LOL. Both my babies looked like Yoda. After a hard year of battling Darth Vader and a hang over.

They did get cuter though.

Marissa Buttner 1 year ago

Hilarious!

Robert 1 year ago

Dana,

Pretty funny recreation of the birth. My wife’s due any week now and she’s already asked me to put a turkey bacon guacomole sandwich from Subway and a bottle of wine in her hopsital “go-bag” for after the baby comes out.

I wrote about this same topic, but in more of a I hope Karma doesn’t bite me in the ass way ( http://thescareddad.com/ugly-babies/ ). I’m just glad theres so many other people willing to openly talk about this, and I wasn’t just being a dick about it. Haha.

Anyway, I enjoyed your piece.

Robert
http://www.thescareddad.com

Cassie 1 year ago

My first was that “beautiful baby”. He came out looking like he was months old, with a full head of hair and adorable baby features. My second was not so adorable. He was red, blotchy, wrinkly, and had bulging eyes and lips. He looked like a mix of Shar pei and alien. Not an attractive combination. He’s adorable now……I promise!

Danielle 2 years ago

Hannah, I agree! I thought the baby in the pic was adorable! Now I, on the other hand, had a funky looking baby! He’s almost 2 and totally gorgeous now but at birth he was borderline scary looking!

Hanna 2 years ago

The baby in the picture is not ugly at all; this is a very pretty baby!

Tash 2 years ago

Ugly babies must be white thing… Our Native babies are cute right out of the oven. We always over hear our white coworkers mention our babies being cuter then theirs… When my daughter was born she was hairy but gorgeous! No red or wrinkled skin. But that is normal here, so far all the white babies I have seen look like old men… Nevertheless ladies love your babies not matter what.

Lucy 2 years ago

You guys deserved it. Who do you think you are, calling your own babies ugly? I bet 55% of you commenters are middle schoolers trying to act cool. This page makes me weep for humanity.

Heather 3 years ago

Eli was 6 weeks early and had a cone head to beat the cast of SNL. He was furry and skinny and scraggly. He took awhile to gain some baby fat to make him resemble a cute baby. And then, out of the blue, he was the sweetest looking little baby a mommy could have ever seen.
Your ugly baby grew into a beautiful princess. I’m certain her daddy watches the door closely for any little boys getting any ideas! Good thing we live so far apart as my boys seem to have a thing for older women 😉

Lynette 3 years ago

I too birthed an ugly baby. She’s thus far grown to be a homely 9-year-old. I love her to pieces… she’s smart, funny, and as sweet and loving as they come. She’s just not a looker, and that’s okay.

Katybeth 3 years ago

Your baby is NOT UGLY!!

That’s all…Carry on. 😀

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

CC,

I am rolling. You are hilarious!

Controlled Chaos 3 years ago

Ahhhahahaha! I was also blinded by it all in the beginning, thought my 8week premature baby girl was the most perfectly beautiful little being. For a brief moment she really was angelic, like a little doll – – from about 4lbs-6lbs she was really really pretty… but out of the gate she absolutely looked like Don Knotts (Barney Fife). And as some other people are stating, it got better? well not for a while for us! She had a giNORMOUS head. Again, blinded by motherly love, I remember taking a picture of her at about 9 months thinking…she is the most beautiful little girl EVER! Whelp, when she was about 4yrs old I looked back at that same picture and wondered how she didn’t topple over with that HUGE MELON! Like an upside down BUOY! I couldn’t see anything else but THANK YOU C-SECTION! What the crap, she was NOT cute what was I thinking?! Yikes!
HOWEVER….now at almost 9yrs, platnium blonde, stick straight locks cover up her (still) huge head but she is gorgeous :). My oh my those icy blue eyes melt EVERYthing. :) And everything about her on the INside is even more spectacular.

Roshni 3 years ago

My first reaction was, “I went through 12 hours of torture for THAT?!!” followed by, “My God! He looks like a monkey”!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Coneheads are not attractive. Nor are forceps “dent head” babies. And pissed-off 4-pound babies who shot down the birth canal? Not cute at all.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

C.J.,

Ah, if our collective asses could sit (on donuts) and share tales…

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

It’s a date.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Arnebya,

Girl, you tickle my funny bone. Because Hell yeah, I’m definitely hanging (with my big belly) with the girl who is “high as a giraffe’s ass.” Where’s. Our. Alcohol?

Lisa @ The Meaning of Me 3 years ago

Oh my god, this was my favorite line ever – My father oozes into the room. He doesn’t laugh. Oozes is a great description for a father/grandfather in that situation. Laughed so hard at this one I cried.

You would think C-section babies are pretty cute, yes, but not when the C-section baby started out as a down the birth canal baby and got stuck. Not pretty. Remember the Coneheads?

suzicate 3 years ago

Kitch, you never fail to crack me up!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Adria,

“A drunk bum?” I like that kid already.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Andrea,

My maiden name was Hagmeyer. Translation: turnip farmer. I am so proud.
ps: Redheads make the world go ’round.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Jamie,

No they don’t admit that. Until your kid pops out and looks like roadkill.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Cuevi,

She had monkey butt? Mine, too! Baboons are the worst. Nasty butt-flashing fuckers.

My kid had hair everywhere. It was alarming.

Adria 3 years ago

Both of my kids were born c-section but my eldest was cute while my youngest looked, to quote my sister, “like a drunk bum”. He had super-dark body hair, vague, mushy facial features and he was small. I look back on it now and laugh because as he gets older he resembles me more and more and I have to wonder if I looked the same as a baby!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Kat,

Bet you are laughing because your baby is beautiful. If not, please share and bask in the puddle of shame! Ugly Baby Mama’s Unite!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Kristen,

Maybe you are right, but when I saw so many plump and pleasant babies in the nursery, I looked at mine and thought, “Damn.”

Annette 3 years ago

My kids are hybrids too! My firstborn was a gorgeous newborn. He came out with a full head of black hair and beautiful olive skin. Imagine my surprise when number 2 came out red and bald, looking exactly like my father-in-law. Thank the Lord he got cuter.

Andrea 3 years ago

DD was born at 37 weeks, so she looked like a little spider monkey-thin little arms and legs, and covered in body hair. I joked that she clearly took after my German-Italian husband with the shoulder fuzz. Although she did have a headful of beautiful red hair at birth that is still just as flaming three years later :)

Jamie 3 years ago

I so love that you admitted your baby was ugly! No one ever does!

Amy 3 years ago

Sounds like a great idea! We should each bring the food our children are named after: Ugly Baby Potluck.

Cuevi 3 years ago

Hysterical! My baby was super furry all over. She even had a whirl pattern in the hair on her forehead. And the top of her ass looked like she was dipped in blue koolaid. She had a cute face but I had to wonder if I had given birth to a beautiful baby baboon since I was certain full body hair and blue butts weren’t typical human characteristics!! Hahaha

Kat 3 years ago

Thanks for the laugh!(the last line) My ten month old and his daddy just turned and stared as I burst out in laughter : )

Kristen Brakeman 3 years ago

Hah!! Very funny. I really think that most babies are unsightly at first. So red and wrinkly! Mine were no exception.
Some take longer to outgrow it – those are the ones you have to say, “Oh, look at the baby” to since you honestly can’t say they’re cute.
Thanks for the laugh.

C.J. 3 years ago

Amazingly enough it did, though sitting was a challange for about a month after the first. My tail bone however has not recovered. My grandfather was 12lbs and my husband was 10lbs, I should have known better. Luckily both of mine were induced early so they didn’t get as big as grandpa!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Jennifer,

Screw zero credit. You get 100%. You had to marinate those little crappers for almost an entire year. Tiara for you, my friend.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Jessica,

I think I love uncle. Send him over? (I have beer!) That is charming beyond belief.

Jenn 3 years ago

I swear, I think all babies have at least a brief Winston Churchill phase!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Taren,

At least you were drugged and sleepy. The Luge Girl came so fast that I didn’t get any drugs at all. Thus, the “Motherfucker!” I hurled at my husband as she came out.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Molly,

Yoda and ET were my first impressions of my daughter. I hope she never finds out.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Dana,

Your forceps baby looked cute within days? My uncle Johnny (forceps baby) is rolling in his grave. It took him years!!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

CJ,

My grandfather was so huge that they had to break his arm to get him out! Whaaa?

ps: has your vagina ever recovered?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Amy,

Tater is a good moniker. My little one was “Miss Chicken Wing.” Maybe we ladies who nickname our kids after foodstuffs should meet sometime…

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Michelle,

I have had a wrong-ass day but your comment made everything shiny and gold. LOVE.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Denise,

He will suddenly turn the corner and start showering all the time. And then your mind goes there….

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Lola,

Promise?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Jess,

I am sorry that your stick-up-the-ass friends took offense. Thank you for sharing, though. I know plenty of female popsicles in this area, so I feel your pain. It’s okay. Honesty is better!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

April,

I love you! I sent that video to Jill when we were discussing the concept of ugly babies! Clearly,we have nuanced taste. :)

Jennifer 3 years ago

When I had Cady, the nurse said, “Wow! That baby has a LOT of hair.” Right then and there I decided that baby wasn’t really mine. They were cutting her out of my uterus at the time. For real.

But???? She was pretty darn cute with all that hair… on her head (nowhere else). I had two c-section babies that were super chunky. They were both beautiful. I can say that because I take zero credit.

Jessica 3 years ago

My daughter was so old man looking that her uncle used to always say “Hey you kids, get off my lawn” in a gruff yet somehow baby voice.

Taren 3 years ago

Love it!

Taren 3 years ago

You guys make me laugh, but seriously I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep my mouth shut and say something appropriate if he would have been ugly. Especially not after nearly 30 hrs of sleep deprivation and drugs, lots of them. I had a perfect blonde haired boy who looked like he just got a cut and style before he came. ON the SUPER FUN side he had a big patch of blonde back hair! I told his dad in a drugged up stupor “see that proves hes yours (snort and laugh here) HAW (i yelled that)” We are married and didn’t have kids for 6 yrs so lots of jokes about that. I was so drugged and sleepy when they finally gave him to me I almost gave him back to the nurse because I thought “no way this one’s mine, hes cute”.

Molly 3 years ago

I had beautiful babies but my sister had a baby that looked exactly like ET, down to the clolour, the huge eyes and the baggy skin. She grew to be a beautiful woman.

Dana 3 years ago

I was actually surprised that my son was a cute newborn. Except for the conehead and scrapes from the forceps, of course, but those went away quickly. I really expected him to be ugly because I think most newborns are ugly. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks that.

C.J. 3 years ago

I didn’t have ugly babies but they also didn’t look like newborns. They came out looking like 3 month olds. The 1st was almost 10lbs 9oz and looked like the Michelin man. The 2nd was 9lbs 11oz. She didn’t look quite as much like the Michelin Man, she only had 2 bum rolls.

Amy 3 years ago

My son was hideous when he was born. He had baby acne, beady eyes, weighed 9.5 lbs and had no neck and thus, the nickname “Tater” was coined.

Michelle 3 years ago

My son looked like Kim Jong Il for a while there. I kid you not.

Arnebya 3 years ago

My boy’s is the shape of Africa on his lower back. And I have no idea if he was ugly or not. I didn’t see him for hours because of the emergency c-section (bastard ass bastards! I came in for a motherfucking stress test YOU BASTARDS) plus I was high as a giraffe’s ass. Even that hairless dog would have been cute to me.

Denise 3 years ago

I’m pretty sure that no baby is beautiful on day one. I distinctly remember them putting my first child on my chest, the nurse cooed something sweet…and all I could think of was “THIS is the creature that came out of my belly??” He was bluish-gray, smeared with blood, and a bit pointy. But after a few weeks he plumped up, got some normal color and gained his good baby looks. Now he’s 14, and when I can get him to take a shower and scrub his face, he’s a dang handsome young man.

Lola 3 years ago

My younger one looked like a dark purple alien, I was terrified so when I saw him. I think my husband has that picture, I’ll try to post it later :)

Jess 3 years ago

I shared this story to my fb wall I thought it was hysterical. Some of my stick up the ass friends thought it was horrible. I for one appreciate the humor in honesty. My first child was born with a conehead, my second with super swollen eyes and a crooked nose, she was sunny side up. They certainly didnt look like the gerber babies but that doesnt mean I loved them any less!

April 3 years ago

Look up “Stephen Lynch, Damn thats an ugly baby” on youtube. Funny Shit!

:)

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Of course she is her favorite. Simian love! Hilarious.

Mary R 3 years ago

My first was really cute. So I was unprepared for my second. She was 3 weeks early, bright red and had a stripe of black hair from the back of her head to her butt. She was also the spitting image of my MIL! I said look Mom it’s you! She’s my MIL’s favorite!!!

BethAnne 3 years ago

My oldest was induced and rather large head thanks to his dad. Its never a good sign when u look down while pushing and see your ob sitting on a stool suction cup on your sons head and one foot on your bed pulling your child while you push for 3.5 hours. Horrid cone head when born!! When the nurse placed him on my belly i said “your gonna clean him right???” my youngest was a c section. I thought he was perfect. Beautiful complextion my bright blue eyes and his dads dark hair!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Shannon,

Her face was bad, but it was the refugee-style bloated belly that truly took it to the level of frightening!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Lollie,

My kid’s hair fell out, too. Awkward. Just…awkward.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Kristen Mae,

At least you were brainwashed enough to think he was gorgeous at the time. Alas, I knew the verdict immediately: ugly.

Shannon- Mommy Has Issues 3 years ago

Well I don’t find that funny at all. My children were perfect, beautiful, little balls of sunshine when they were born.
LOL! Just kidding.
I think newborns are the reason someone came up with the phrase, “A face only a mother can love.”

Leighann 3 years ago

This is hilarious. I love it.
And even through the uglies we can see the beauty

Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife 3 years ago

My first born belonged to the ugly baby club – he was long & skinny, pasty faced like a little old man, with stringy dark hair. And it only got worse – a few weeks old and all the hair on top fell out – my precious baby looked like Peter Boyle on a really bad day. It took weeks for some peach fuzz to start sprouting up. Needless to say, there aren’t a lot of photos from those months. Thankfully, the new hair finally came in a glorious golden blonde, he filled out a bit, and his cheeks developed healthy pink. Phew, was I relieved!

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 3 years ago

This really cracked me up! I actually thought my son was GORGEOUS when he was first born, but when I look back at pictures of him I think to myself, “no wonder no one ever stopped us to tell him how cute he was… he was really kind of purple and wrinkly and misshapen…”

Not to worry, though, mommas of ugly babies – my boy’s a real looker now, at the ripe old age of 6 (other people tell me so, that’s how I know for sure.) 😉

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Jen,

Same thing happened with my first-born. Full head of hair and hair in lotsa other odd places. And then the hair on the head fell out. Made for some very awkward Easter photos…

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Josie,

Viva la Hybrid! I’m hoping for you, girl!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Kelly,
Is it weird that I really want to see a photo of the missing ear flap?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Kristin,

I am constantly being mistaken for the nanny. My DNA didn’t translate.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Shannon,

Niiiiice. Why can’t the peanut gallery just shut up?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Natalie,

I expect a report back. 😉

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Katy,

An Apple Jack? I feel honored.

Jen 3 years ago

My daughter looked like Curious George when she was born. She was so hairy! Everyone told me it would fall out and all I could reply was WHEN?!? She is now 8 months and absolutely beautiful… and bald.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Mommieof4,

My kid’s eyes seemed HUGE when she came out because she was so small. They kept rolling around in her head, like she was thinking, “Where the Hell am I and who is to blame?”

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Wendi,

Thank goodness your Libby escaped that fate!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Mr Burns? Horrifying! And funny.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Michelina,

Wilford Brimley made me laugh! Does your kid do insurance commercials?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Julie,

Do you remember the episode of Seinfeld with Elaine and the ugly baby? If not: Google it. Hilarious.

Jenn 3 years ago

Wow, that’s a big girl. My son was 4 weeks early and he was 8#12oz and 22″ long. But as big as he was he looked like a skinny little frog, lol.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

walkingqueen,

Yep, that’s my ugly baby right there.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Amanda,

That’s so interesting. The whole twin thing has always baffled me. I love that they don’t look alike–saves them the confusion!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Moomin,

I’d never heard of it either! At least you have a thumbprint; we have an asteroid.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Dawn,

My uncle was a forceps baby. Try passing around pictures of “dent head.”

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Tinne,

Did he come out with a gin in his hand?

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Amy,

Get the heck outta here! My second-born was channeling the Darth-man, too! She stayed that way for five years until we got her gi-normous adenoids taken out!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Andie,

Benjamin Button? OMG, laughing.

Josie 3 years ago

Haha, I had the exact opposite experience. I was exceptionally ugly as was my husband. I expected a really ugly baby, especially after they warned me it could be really bad after she was stuck in the vj so long.

When they finally ripped her out and showed her to me the first thing I said to my husband was “Are you sure that’s our baby?” She looked like the three month old TV babies that are passed off as newborns. Perfect skin, perfect head, pretty, long hair. Hybrid vigor at it’s best.

Now I kinda expect this baby to be pretty too. Hybrid vigor, right? When he comes out wrinkled and weird I’m gonna say again “Are you sure that’s our baby?”

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Ronica,

Both of mine had hair–the ultrasound tech could even see it waving on the screen when I went for my 32 week check-up.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

lynnZMbH,

I’m trying to get Jill to hold an ugly baby contest! I hope you enter!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Lisa,

I’m still looking for the picture of my other child–the one born with a black eye…

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Koren,
What’s with the hair? I couldn’t believe how hairy my kid was!

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Thank God they don’t stay that way.

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Keri,

Yeah, I think c-section babies are cuter. Mine did NOT enjoy her speedy trip down the birth canal!

Kelly @ In the Mom Light Blog 3 years ago

Hahahaha, love this. Makes me feel better that my initial thought upon seeing baby #2 was a piece of his ear was missing. I figured it just flapped away somewhere from being in the birth canal, but nope, it’s actually not there… he’s so damn cute though, missing little ear flap and all :-)

Thekitchwitch 3 years ago

Okay, the hairy butt? I had to laugh! My underweight baby had a hairy one, too!

Kristin @ What She Said 3 years ago

This story cracked me up. And the way you told it… priceless.

My daughter was cute but she had Asian eyes, which stumped me. But then I looked at my husband’s newborn baby pictures and realized he had Asian eyes, too. And he was a seriously ugly baby.

Emma 3 years ago

I also had a hybrid baby and could not for the life of me picture what my son would look like. He came out absolutely perfect and gorgeous. He’s 9 months now and wherever we go people stop and tell us how handsome he is. But I was terrified he’d be ugly.

Shannon 3 years ago

The first words my OB said were, “Looks like we have a linebacker here.” Just the words you want to hear about your baby GIRL.

Bianca (WellYesYouMay) 3 years ago

I too, had little old man babies. In fact, when the family came in to meet my firstborn and were discussing who she looked most like my reply was, “Really? I think she looks like a angry little Chinese man…” I got some crazy looks from my inlaws and the nurses for that quip, but she really did look like an adorable mix of Mr. Miyagi and Yoda. At 2.5 years, she looks like a far more beautiful version of me. She does, however, absolutely love Yoda.

Natalie 3 years ago

I don’t know if this has scared me more or made me feel better for having this same fear!! I’m due in 3 weeks and I keep praying for beauty… I usually think all newborns are ugly too but I was praying to God mine would be an exception… We’ll see!

Natalie 3 years ago

Haha

Michele 3 years ago

It took me more than 5 years to admit by baby girl was really ugly when she was born. She was red and had lots of pitch black hair standing on end. Her brother was a perfect looking baby when he was born two years earlier – so I clearly had a comparison but the love goggles are thick.

Katy 3 years ago

OMG….. I didn’t know Apple Jacks could exit through a nose but they just did. So fricken funny!

Amanda 3 years ago

So glad my LO didn’t come out looking like anything but pure cuteness. Even more glad that my genes were dominant to that of my H’s. Hes one goofy looking goober sometimes.

Mommieof4girls 3 years ago

Haha as a 20 year old all I could think of how beautiful my baby girl was going to be when she came out ( like A princess dress, long flowing hair, sparking green eyes… Not really but you get what I mean) instead I got the complete opposite! She was skinny and this black hair (like a troll doll) and theses piercing huge dark brown eyes (almost black) that I could have swarn she was looking threw me! She grew out of it in like a week and was bald for almost 2 years but who cared she was mine and I loved her(plus I could not careless after she was out All I could think of was McDonalds, I was starving)

Wendi @ Bon Appetit Hon 3 years ago

Girl, I think this post made me love you even more!

Jaymee 3 years ago

Haha! My daughter was gorgeous when she was born (and still is), but if we ever took a picture of her, she ended up looking like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons!

Michelina 3 years ago

My ob told us during our son’s last ultrasound that he looked like Wilford Brimley and sure enough, when he arrived 7 weeks early, there was a resemblance! Well, except that he had such a cone head that they subtracted one inch from his birth length. They had to leave the top of his little cap open for the cone to stick out!

Julie 3 years ago

When I was pregnant I used to have nightmares about having a really ugly baby. I don’t mean just one or two nightmares…..it went on throughout my whole pregnancy! I wasn’t at all concerned that she would be healthy….I was just petrified she would be ugly. When she was born, the first question I asked my husband is was she ugly? He cracked up at that and then they showed me a pretty little girl. All I could think was thank God she’s not ugly. No idea why the idea of an ugly baby was so traumatizing to me…but it was! Only after I had my daughter did I realize that every baby is beautiful!

walkingqueen 3 years ago

Is that your baby in the picture? If so, aw it is cute. But this is hilarious. Especially the shitting part LOL

Amanda 3 years ago

Hilarious!!

I had twins. One came out big, fat, & happy. The other one came out looking like a water-logged rat! They’re 8 years old now & devilishly handsome. And they look nothing alike :)

Moomin 3 years ago

My 15mo has a thumb print size Mongolian spot on her back. Never even heard of it til I had her.

Moomin 3 years ago

Haaaa! Brilliant!

dawn 3 years ago

OMG- I so remember this!! Oh wait this wasn’t me- but I do remember saying- Oh my God- will that go away..I have guests coming this weekend, when my precious baby was born with what can only be described as the CONEHEAD from the 80s SNL skits!! Glad other mommas have this ‘weird’ non movie perfect birth moment!! LOVE this post!!! and love our perfect little babies!!

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

My eldest was a miniature Winston Churchill.

Cris 3 years ago

Oh my goodness! That as hilarious!!

Amy 3 years ago

Both of mine were a little under cooked, too. It was a letdown for sure. One of mine sounded like Darth Vader, too. Don’t worry. They’re cute now.

Denise 3 years ago

Hilarious. Whether beautiful or ugly they are ours and we love them :)

Talia 3 years ago

My little guy was a GORGEOUS baby and he’s now a beautiful 8 year old little boy. His eyes have always been so pretty!

Andie 3 years ago

My second born was an ugly newborn (of course, all newborn are ugly anyway). We called him “Benjamin Button” because that is EXACTLY who he looked like…and then after a few months or so he developed into Mac from “Mac & Me”. Now? He is a gorgeous, dimply-faced, curly-haired, three-year-old model! Who knew he would turn out to be that cute?!! They all come into their own, but it is a little scary looking at your newborn for the first time after they’ve been stuck in a canal for a bit. Wowza!

Tabitha 3 years ago

My so looked like Yoda when he was born…so ugly, but so darn cute! My daughter was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, not saying that cause I am her Mom, if she was ugly I would admit it, but she was born beautiful and still is 3 years later.

Ronica 3 years ago

Oh, and I meant to add that they both had full heads of hair, so they avoided the “old man” look.

Ronica 3 years ago

That was great! I was terrified my babies would be ugly, even more so that they’d be ugly and no one would tell me! My first baby was preemie, big and red. I didn’t know it at the time, but she wasn’t the cutest newborn. I know it now, looking back on photos. She wasn’t an UGLY baby, but she wasn’t completely adorable.
My second, however, was absolutely precious from the moment she came out. She looked like a little porcelain doll, and I know it’s true because I still think that looking back on photos.

Rachael 3 years ago

All BS aside my baby was and still is beautiful. I went through a lot to get her into this world. Even the nurses oohed and fawned over her. She was 5 weeks premature and weighed 7# 12oz. she was a whopper! I can’t go anywhere without someone telling me how beautiful she is.

LynnZMbH 3 years ago

My daughter looked like Robin Williams when she was born…. Yes I said DAUGHTER

Lisa 3 years ago

Hilarious!
Our daughter looked like a little alien. She is 6 months old now and adorable, but my husband and I still laugh when we look at newborn photos of her.

Koren 3 years ago

My sweet baby girl was a chunk, slightly orange, and covered in hair…adorably ugly and beautiful at the same time :)

Jay 3 years ago

I remember having beautiful babies, but when I saw my sister’s first child (a girl) I couldn’t believe how ugly I thought she was! She looked just like her dad. But rest easy! She is 4 now, looks just like her mother and is gorgeous little man slayer. :)

Keri 3 years ago

Oh, I just spit my breakfast on the screen. HILARIOUS!!! I had c-sections, so mine didn’t have the conehead look. I think that helped a bit.

Beth 3 years ago

Aww, most newborns are not all that cute! Mine was 3 weeks early and was so scrawny! He also had the most hilarious hairline. A few days at the boob and bottle and he was right chunky. I think little old man babies are adorable!

Andrea 3 years ago

My sons were both preemies and they looked like little old men when they were born. I can totally relate to this post although now they’re the most beautiful boys in the world.

Ronnie 3 years ago

Mouhahahahaah!!!!
I was hoping for a beautiful baby as well when I had my #1, but expected a little tiny ugly, wrinkly, wet thing! I loved him at first sight anyways! I think that 99% of new born are reallllllly ugly, My 3 included! they get better looking after a few days, once their skin is “ironed-out” :)
Thank you for that post!

Bevin 3 years ago

My son looked just like a mini old man. My friend who was in the room with me said he looked like a wet rat coming out of me. His eyes were black and I looked to make sure 666 wasn’t under all his hair or on his butt.
He was still awesome. Looked like a little old man until around 5 months. Now he’s a ladies boy at 5 years and I just know I’m going to be in trouble.