Arguing with my kids is one of my least favorite ways to spend my day, and also one of the most guaranteed ways I will spend my day. No matter what I say, sometimes they just can’t move on when I tell them no.
But fear not, fellow moms. Now we have a new tactic for asserting dominance over our children: Belting out this hilarious “Despacito” parody whenever our kids challenge us on a dreaded “no.” Mine is going to be accompanied by exaggerated hip-swaying and a hairbrush microphone. You may settle for a wooden spoon if that’s all that is available to you in a pinch. Artists make do, after all.
Deva Dalporto of MyLifeSuckers creates some of the internet’s funniest mom parodies of hit songs, and she does not disappoint with her latest video. “I Told You No” runs through the greatest hits of every mom’s daily list of grievances. And she does it all with backup dancers and a bunch of cute kids. Throughout the video, Deva sing-pleads with her kids to sit down and eat or flush the toilet as every mom watching nods her head while simultaneously shimmying in her seat.
Whether it’s constantly reminding our kids not to play with balls in the house, shutting down requests for treats and candy, or the repeated (and repeated) pleas for them to pick up their toys before we suffer the excruciating pain of foot-death-by-Lego, this parody nails how moms everywhere are frustrated with the ways our instructions go ignored. And then our kids wonder out loud why we are always yelling.
I’m fantasizing about rigging my house with disco lighting and keeping a few backup dancers on retainer. The next time my kids ask me for something and answer my polite refusal with a whiny and drawn-out “But why?” I’m going to hit a red button on the wall. “I Told You No” will cue up, the house lights will dim as the party lights spin around the kitchen, and my dancers will emerge from their holding cell under the sink to gyrate in the background while I sing the opening lyrics of “I said no! I said no! I said no!”