Why Is It So Hard To Get A Date Night With My Husband?

date night
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I love my soon-to-be 9-year-old daughter with all of my heart. She is empathetic, an avid reader, does cartwheels and backbends, and loves the beach and chocolate just like her Mommy. However, Mommy and Daddy haven’t had a date night since…..since….I swear, if we get one night out a year, we are lucky.

I have no village, I have no babysitters. Honestly, I don’t really want to pay a teenager whatever the going rate is; I can’t imagine what the going rate is. I kind of need that cash for a night out, or some beautiful cocktails, or in reality, a tank of gas.

Which makes me think: What happened to the babysitters? When baby was born everyone swooned: “Isn’t she lovely!” “Can I hold her?” “Anything you need? I’ll get it!” “I can’t wait to babysit her and play with her someday!” “You’ll have babysitters lined up all over the place!”

Flash forward a few years. If I was in a crisis, I believe someone would help. But what about all those offers? My phone isn’t ringing. I’ve never had a family member or friend offer to watch my daughter while we go out for the night.

I’ve tried to build friendships with other moms and families. We always seem to be the ones inviting other girls over for playdates. I keep an ear out while the girls are throughout the house with movies, popcorn, crafts, or the latest Shopkin/Hatchimal/FurReal toy. Kid comes over here for four-five hours, which I’m happy to have, but no one ever reciprocates. Help a mom out! Where’s our invite over? Is this not happening anymore? You come here one day, and I go to your house next time?

I am jealous. Jealous of families with villages. Families where grandmothers are part of the daily schedule. Families where kids spend every other weekend with extended family, giving Mom and Dad time to connect. Jealous of friendships we just don’t seem to be a part of.

I don’t want to be jealous. I just want a date with my husband. I want to have some cocktails and flirt. I want to be relaxed and carefree for a few hours. I’d love to be doing something other than watching Bravo after my kid goes to sleep. I’d love a week on a tropical island, but I’d be thrilled to get one night out.

If I just had a babysitter.