Sometimes it’s hard being a woman, especially in the summer. It’s the season when our thighs stick to plastic chairs and get scorched on the leather seats of our car. Just the other day I pulled out some emergency napkins I keep in my purse which are usually designated to kid emergencies like boogers, sneezes, blood, messy faces, and the occasional roadside pee break, because I was literally sweating my tits off.
I’m not kidding, there was so much sweat coming from those suckers by the time I was done wiping they were a full cup size smaller. And I had no shame.
Boob-wiping has become socially acceptable and women shouldn’t have to live like this. Give us some damn relief — STAT! I can’t handle another day of having my hooters locked in their cage, crying tears of perspiration. I’ve even lingered in the freezer section of the grocery store just to give my tatas some relief.
The things is, unlike ball sweat, you can see evidence of boob sweat since our fun bags are front and center. And we love our boobs — they are capable of so many wonderful things like feeding our young and doubling as a shelf for our favorite flavor of ice cream while we order shoes on the Internet — so we should take care of them.
But let’s be real, those babies can sweat like a pair of balls wrapped in Teflon and we want need it to stop so we get desperate and throw a mini pad in our bra, or rub a stick of deodorant or fistful of baby powder to our cleavage and under boob area, but is that safe?
First of all, ouch on the mini pad and bra combo. Those suckers are sticky, contain bleach, and never stay in place. And second of all, deodorant is not meant to go under or on your boobs. Even though studies don’t confirm it causes cancer, most of us want to be extra careful. Unless it’s all-natural, putting it that close to your breasts is not what you want to do, especially if you are nursing or carrying a baby close to your chest.
Preventing your knockers from getting the sweats can be helped a bit by adding baby powder or talc, but it is a mess and you have to reapply often. Not to mention talc has been known to cause illnesses such as asbestos poisoning, lung cancer, and pleural plaques.
So what’s a sweaty girl to do?
Well, thankfully there is a brand-new all-natural product ready and willing to be swiped all over our fun bags to keep them dry. Enter: Dust Bust. Made by Megababe, the same company that brought you Thigh Rescue, Dust Bust here to rescue us all from unsightly sweat stains and the discomfort of a soggy bra.
Founder of Megababe, Katie Sturino is the voice behind the fashion blog The 12ish Style. She told Scary Mommy, “Boob sweat is my #2 problem right after thigh chafe so when it came to developing additional products for Megababe, that was at the top of the list to address.”
Seriously ladies, whether your have a full DD cup or a pair of mosquito bites, our boobs are going to sweat. It’s a problem we all share.
Megababe wanted to offer women of the world something natural and clean, Sturino got the idea because she was so tired of the mess powders left on her hands and clothing. She wanted the product to be environmentally friendly so anything aerosol was out of the question.
She came up with something cute and sporty to help women of the world stop fanning and wiping their breasts. “We created this bottle for Bust Dust and I use it EVERYWHERE,” she said.
Pro tip: try spraying it upside down to get those hard to reach places.
And who doesn’t love a tiny bottle that can be thrown in your purse? No more fanning and wiping our girls down, just a quick spry will do the trick.
So save those mini pads for when Aunt Flo comes to town. And for the love of all things holy, the world will be a better place when women can stop dipping napkins in their boob cracks to absorb the sweat. It’s about damn time.