What to (Really) Expect When You’re Eight Months Pregnant

What to (Really) Expect When You’re Eight Months Pregnant

At eight months pregnant, breathing is starting to feel impossible and won’t get easier until the end of the month when the baby drops. You’re huffing and puffing and can’t get from the car to the front door without breaking a sweat. The answer? Do as little as possible, of course.

What to (Really) Expect When You’re Eight Months Pregnant

• As your baby continues to grow, you’ll probably notice less movement and constantly be freaking the hell out. This is normal – just as it feels like there’s no room in there, there is no room in there and the baby really can’t do summersaults anymore. Down a glass of orange juice and lay down; the sugar should be enough to get him moving, but if you’re really nervous call your doctor.

Embrace the waddle. Not only do you simply not have the stamina to take long strides anymore, you’re also beginning to feel like the baby is just going to fall out of your vagina if you open your legs too wide. The plus side is that everyone will hold the door for you or give up their bus seat because you’re looking that pathetic.

• Now that you’re in the final stretch, it’s ALL ABOUT THE PREGNANCY. You’ve probably completely given up on grooming and manners and look at other people’s food as a free for all buffet. It’s ok; happens to the best of us.

Hello headaches, nausea, heartburn, swelling, moodiness, fatigue and dizziness! While it may feel like you can’t handle them any more, take solace in the fact that you only have a little while left to go. Soon this discomfort will be a distant memory, (really, you’ll block it out completely,) and instead of being up in the middle of the night with aches and pains, you’ll be up with a screaming baby. At least the house is quiet now?

You may also become acquainted with hemorrhoids this month. My deepest sympathies.

Scary Mommy Tip: It may be tempting to rip the tags off of every adorable onsie and fold them up in baby’s dresser, but you really have no idea what he or she will actually wear the most. Once you’ve washed the clothes, you’re stuck keeping them, so you’re better off leaving all the tags on and just washing a handful of things. Because those ten onsies from Target that he really doesn’t need? They can totally be exchanged for some post-baby clothes which you do. But not if they’ve been washed.