Other mothers will always look like they’re doing a whole lot better than you.
They’re baking, crafting, singing and dancing through the day with their beautifully turned out tots.
You, on the other hand, cannot imagine how to get through the rest of the day without killing yours and it’s only been ten minutes since they woke up.
You probably think that other moms have got their shit together and that they really do know what they are doing. Bullshit. No one who has ever tried to raise a child knows what they’re doing. We are all just flying by the seat of our pants (you know, the grey ones that are six sizes bigger than before you had kids.)
So how about we embrace the imperfect instead of striving for something we’ll never achieve. How? Let’s…
1. Accept that we don’t really matter to anyone. People do not care about us, because they’re wrapped up worrying about themselves. Other moms are caught up in their own soap operas; we don’t even make it into the pilot.
2. Stop buying the Myth of the Perfect Mommy. Immaculate conception. That’s how the baby Jesus got here and that’s how mothers got stuck with the motherhood myth. Mary set us up big time. She became a Mommy without any mess, and since then we’ve been trying to do the same.
3. Stop telling lies. You’re fine, the kids are awesome, you love motherhood, they sleep well, your marriage is good, you don’t mind having not time to yourself. Motherhood is made up of a million little lies that spread like a disease infecting us all. If we lie, it means we think there is an ideal Mom that we’re supposed to be. If we lie, it means other Mums are reaching for that ideal, too.
4. Make a decision not to give a shit. More than likely, the mom you are right now is barely capable of getting through the day. Your kids, your never-ending to do list, and your lazy husband are sucking the promise right out of you. If you want to stop giving a shit, then woman up and start chanting at yourself in the mirror. “I refuse to give a shit. I will be me, come what may.” You may not feel it happen, but it will change you.
The truth is, motherhood is the toughest gig on earth that you can still land with no previous experience or qualifications. And here’s the even bigger truth: You will fuck up your kids because you’re human.
Related post: Why I’m Embracing The Mommy Guilt