A six-year-old asked his dad for a loan and got an official rejection letter from the “Bank of Dad.”
Once you have kids, you might as well just turn out your pockets and wear a barrel like an old-timey pauper, because kids burn through money faster than they would if they actually ate the stuff. Not only do kids need all kinds of wild luxuries like food and clothes and soap and medical care, they are also human beings, which means they want things, too. And six-year-olds can’t have jobs, so when they want things, they come to us. One St. Louis father had been used as the Bank of Dad one too many times recently, so when his six-year-old son came and asked to borrow $20, he came up with an elaborate and hilarious way of saying, “No.”
According to The Huffington Post, the six-year-old boy showed up at his father’s office and asked for a $20 “loan” on his allowance. The father knew the boy had been pestering his mother for $20 for a toy all day despite having been told “no” multiple times, and the mother sent the boy to go ask his father for a loan on his allowance.
“I knew ‘loan’ wasn’t in his vocabulary up to that point, it was his mom that sent him my way with that idea!” the boy’s father laughed. “So I thought it would be funny to send him back to her with a loan rejection letter in hand. I knew he’d need her to read it to him.”
He created a professional looking letterhead for the “Bank of Dad,” with a sad-looking lion mascot and the motto: “Because apparently I look like I’m made of money.” Then he wrote up an official-sounding rejection letter full of banking jargon.
“We regret to inform you at this time that we are unable to provide a loan in the amount requested of $20.00. After reviewing your account, we have find you have insufficient funds, and a history of not doing your chores.
Furthermore, over $80.00 has been spent on discretionary entertainment expenses since Christmas. This is an unsustainable amount of expenditure, and we cannot further compound the problem by financially assisting with occurring further debt at this point.
If you would like to refute this decision, you can contact our complaint department at [Mom’s cell phone number]. Our dispute manager at this number may be able to persuade us to reverse our decision.
Thank you for choosing DAD Savings and Loan, we appreciate the chance to serve your financial needs.
CEO, DAD S&L
St. Louis, MO 63126”
He even instructs his son to call the “complaint department,” ie: his mother, to speak with a dispute manager if he wishes to appeal the decision.
The joke was too advanced for a six-year-old, who wouldn’t be able to read it, let alone understand things like “discretionary entertainment expenditures,” but the boy’s father said the main point was to make his wife laugh when their son showed up and asked her to read what dad had just handed him.
“While I am teaching my kid about managing money through other ways, this one was really meant to make Mom smile,” he said.
The joke worked, because the boy’s mother thought the letter was so funny she posted it to Reddit, where it proved to be a big hit with parents and has been viewed nearly 5 million times.
“We figured there might be other parents out there who could relate,” the boy’s dad laughed.
He was right. The parents of the world have been loving the letter and have plans to use it themselves.
“As a father of a two-year old, I am saving this for later,” one commenter wrote.
“You made this? This is mine now,” another one said.
It looks like a lot of children will be getting their loan requests denied in coming months now that parents have an official form to send them.