When You Feel Like A Bad Mom, Remember This

by Kimberly Zapata
Originally Published: 
bad mom
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Oh, Mama, I hear you now. You are berating yourself. Questioning yourself. Criticizing yourself. You are saying those words: I am a terrible mom. I am an awful mom.

I am a bad mom.

And you must be right…right? Because today, you lost your temper and yelled at your daughter. Because today, you snapped and spanked your son. Because today, you left the TV on all afternoon, so you could cook or clean or work or sleep or simply save your sanity. You left the TV on so your kiddo wouldn’t hear your crying, so they wouldn’t see your tears. Because today, you caved and gave your kiddo a handful of Raisin Bran, a spoonful of Parmesan cheese, hot dogs, and ketchup for dinner.

I know, you are the worst.

But here’s thing: If you were truly a bad mom, you wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t be bothered by things like healthy eating or educating — and entertaining — your kiddo every minute of every day. You wouldn’t be worried your words are doing irreparable harm. You wouldn’t be crying in the closet while your child plays in their room. You wouldn’t let the guilt taunt you, torture you, and consume you.

You wouldn’t be apologizing.

You wouldn’t feel remorse.

You see, if you think about it, really think about it, your reaction proves you are loving. It proves you care about your kiddo, endlessly and unselfishly, and you it proves you want the best for them.

Your reaction proves you are a good mom.

So today, consider this when you are feeling crappy. When that voice of doubt and loathing creeps in, consider that chicken nuggets never killed a kid, nor did a few cartoons.

You may not always be proud of your actions — you will make mistakes; we will all make mistakes — but maybe, just maybe, your mistakes aren’t “bad.” Maybe your mistakes are teachable moments. They help you grow. They help your children grow, and they make your bond stronger.

They make you a better woman, a better wife, a better friend, and a better mother.

You are enough.

You are doing enough, and “failures” and all, you are a good mom. You are a great mom.

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