Fiona The Hippo Might Have A Boyfriend And Twitter Has No Chill

by Cassandra Stone
Image via Image Source/Getty/Twitter

Fiona the hippo was asked out on a date by a fellow hippo admirer

Everyone’s favorite hippo, Fiona, might have met her true love match. Timothy the hippo, a possible suitor from the San Antonio Zoo, took to Twitter to let the world know he’s willing to re-locate to Cincinnati to meet our girl Fiona.

Naturally, the internet is having a field day with this news. Because in 2018, the only place we can collectively find joy is via Hippo Tinder fodder.

Earlier this week, Timothy said he’d checked out Fiona’s pictures and videos, and he thinks she “is the most beautiful hippopotamus I have ever seen.”

Asking if he can swoop in and claim her relationship status — bold move, right? Calm down, Timothy. On behalf of Fiona, the Cincinnatti Zoo’s PR team let Timothy know she’s interested while also gently reminding him who will really run the show in their relationship.

The responses to this budding hippopota-romance (yep, went there) ranged from delightfully charming to downright dirty. Because while it’s fun to pretend there’s some sort of heteronormative courtship happening here, there’s really only one reason Timothy and Fiona would ever get together: to ensure the reproduction of more hippopotamuses (hippopotami?).

Some people were utterly charmed by the entire exchange.

While others were… less subtle about the realities of this “romance.”

LOL. Methinks we are all having way too much fun with this.

While it remains to be seen if these two crazy kids will make a “go” of it — long distance relationships can be tough at first — but one thing is for sure, unlike most of his sex, Timothy isn’t in this to play mind games.