10 Reasons Friends Without Kids Are So Amazing

by Sa'iyda Shabazz
Originally Published: 

Friendship as an adult is hard. Maintaining our friendships takes a certain amount of effort and tenacity that we don’t always have. This becomes especially true when you throw kids into the mix. On top of everything, now you’re beholden to a small person who depends on you for everything. And if you and your friend have kids, trying to get together can be a freaking nightmare. That’s why it’s important to nurture your relationship with your childfree friends.

Our friends who are childfree are truly the friend MVPs. It’s easy to let your friendships languish when one of you doesn’t have kids, because you will lose some of your common ground. But fostering your relationships with your childfree friends make you a more well-rounded person.

Friends without kids bring a different perspective to our lives. But beyond that, they’re friends who remind us that there is a world outside of our little bubble of kids. Our childfree friends rock for many reasons, but these are a few of the best ones.

1. We get a break from the chaos of parenting.

As parents, we live in a state of perpetual chaos. And lots of noise. Going over to our childfree friend’s houses mean we get a break from some of that chaos. We can sit and enjoy the quiet while we chat. No screaming kids in the background, no din of PAW Patrol while we try to finish a sentence. And there is a sense of calm when you walk into the house of your friends without kids. Because they can create a space that won’t be demolished as soon as it’s clean.

2. They remind us we’re more than our role as “parent.”

With our childfree friends we can just be. We can tap into the part of ourselves that we don’t often get to let out because we’re so busy being parents. As one of my friends puts it, having friends without kids reminds us “life exists outside of Legos and dirty diapers and there are so many ways to be happy.” And when we’re with our childfree friends, some of that person we are outside of kids begins to emerge. Hanging out with them is imperative to keeping the part of us who is more than just a parent alive.

3. They don’t bring kids over to your house.

As much as we love our friends with kids coming over for a playdate, having your childfree friend come over is even better. Because you’re not worried about bringing more chaos into your house. There are no extra kids coming in and potentially wrecking stuff. And you never have to worry about the kids not getting along, which could negatively impact your relationship with your friend.

4. You don’t have to coordinate babysitters to hang out.

As a parent, one of the hardest things is making time for your friends. It takes a lot of work to be able to get together, even if it’s just for happy hour or a quick dinner. When you both have kids, trying to find childcare is always a challenge. If you can get a babysitter, your friend’s sitter will almost certainly come down with the plague and cancel. Then you “how about next week” each other until the kids go to college. Our friends without kids are busy of course, but they aren’t relying on someone else’s schedule to see you.

5. They think your kids are cool.

Matthew Henry/Burst

Of course, we think our kids are cool. We made them, so we’ve come to appreciate all their little quirks. And while our friends who have kids may certainly think our kids are cute and funny, our childfree friends have a different appreciation for our kids. Our kids are their window into the world of what kids are like.

6. They have really cute pets.

As much as I wish I could have a pet, right now I have a feral child and that’s plenty. And I know a lot of my friends with kids feel the same way. But our childfree friends have the time and energy to pour all of their love into a pet. Which means, when you go hang out at their place, you get all the kitten cuddles and puppy kisses you could ever want. And if you’re really lucky, your friend will have bunnies or a lizard or something exotic that would never last a day in your house.

7. They might have more flexibility in their schedule.

They have their own busy lives, but unlike our friends with kids, if we need them, they likely have more wiggle room in their schedules to help us out. As one of my childfree friends points out, “I’ve brought friends who are new parents meals, done laundry for them, because I’ve got nothing super pressing at home.”

8. You don’t have to talk about kids.

There are a million things we can do with our childfree friends. And the most important one? Not talk about our damn kids. Sometimes we do, of course, because they’re a huge part of our lives. But you know when you’re around other parents, conversation seems to revolve around the kids. Spending time with your friends who don’t have kids reminds you that there are things to talk about.

9. They have energy and patience.

If there’s one thing we know to be true, it’s that our kids suck up all of our energy. Many of us just live with the permanent state of exhaustion since our kids were born. But our friends without kids? When they come over, they will engage with our kids. They’ll play games, they’ll get down on the floor with them, and they’ll give them the attention we can’t. Plus, they’re not constantly dealing with kids of their own, so they have patience for ours. whether it’s playing the same game over and over, helping diffuse a tantrum or listening to them talk about Fortnite incessantly, they’re willing to put in that energy.

10. They love our kids unconditionally.

There’s a reason we say our childfree friends make the best aunties and uncles. Because they love our kids so much. Our friends without kids are the people who will look out for our kids no matter what, and they will always love them. And for that we love them more than ever.

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