Let’s raise a glass (or two, I’m not one to judge) to our friendships that stick around throughout the ages. The ones that have seen every bump, twist, turn, and finish line, been through every moment of silence and pain and yet, somehow, remain unchanged. This is for the people who stay and the friendships that pick up right where they left off.
Though we’re meant to live this life as “sophisticated” adults, I am here for those real friends who make me giddy after one too many whiskey sours and much time apart. I like long, meaningful hugs when we’re reunited. And I love those friends who share I-miss-you-mores in public restrooms.
I need those people who still secretly hate my ex-boyfriend for that thing he did a long time ago.
My people are the ones who are as eager to hear about my new things as I am theirs. Even when miles separate the distance, these friends make a priority to never forget those important dates. They don’t miss a single birthday, holiday, or day that brings hurt; nor do I. And when the hard times come flooding, we make room for each other’s pain.
But sometimes there is so much silence from one another. A week, a month, maybe even a year of calendar days could pass by before we’re together again. Still, the strength of the bond shared is never questioned. These friendships don’t whither from lack of communication, because they are strong enough not to demand daily attention.
Memes are sent back and forth, because that’s what our lives have come to. Private messages are exchanged with hilarious (and often vulgar) videos we can’t publicly share, but made us think of an inside joke with one another. Yet, sometimes, there’s no reply.
And in truth, it’s because not one person is immune to having their own shit to deal with. We all have private lives, responsibilities, other relationships, and a family. What makes this friendship so great is that it isn’t needy — it carries grace and empathy toward those unseen struggles.
The hustle and bustle of life has a funny way of barging in and stealing the show, especially during this time of parenting. My best friends are living a chaotic life in one home while I live mine in the other. And lately, seldom are the days we find the time to get together.
One of the kids always seem to be sick. Or worse, all of the kids and our husbands are sick. We have to work, we have to clean, and we have laundry in our washer 30 minutes away from molding.
Some of us live far away, while others live just down the block. But make no mistake, when we truly need one another, we are there for each other in an instant.
And when it happens, everything is the same. Almost as if our friendship was floating around on pause, waiting for us to gather around and pick it back up.
These are the friendships I live for, and the kind I find the most inviting.
The ones that don’t make me feel like I need to be “put together.” Where I can just be who I am without feeling like I’m not enough. And the people who allow me to be myself without feeling like I’m “too much.” The bond shared in these friendships is constant and it refuses to judge. With these friends, there is honesty, transparency, and a safe haven for that juicy story you’ve been aching to tell.
Relationships like these stand the test of time. They are the steady in a swarm of others who were fair weathered. And for some, though you’re not related, they love you more than your own blood.
In them, there is family. A bond strong enough to withstand the misfortune of a million storms. You stray from one another in seasons, but that’s never stopped you both from coming back.
To discover a platonic intimacy like this is to rediscover a different part of yourself. You get to see a glimpse of the person you once were before you were met with the new job, a family, or just the day-to-day junk piled high on top. Though you have faults that are visible, these friends wouldn’t dream of doing anything but lifting you up.
And damn, it is so good for the soul.
These are the friendships who celebrate with you, mourn with you, and help you see the real you again, even if you spent some time apart. You’re never too broken, too angry or too weird for these people. With them, you can pick up wherever it is that you left off.