From The Confessional: Introverts Are In Their Feelings About Quarantine

by Karen Johnson
What It's Really Like For Introverts Right Now

As we’ve moved farther and farther into the 21st century, it seems that introverts are finally getting their day in the… shade, where they’re happiest. Modern technology has allowed those who aren’t fans of peopling to work from home. Introverts can order delivery, shop online, and basically live the quarantine life voluntarily if they want to, with relative ease. Or, at least more ease than they could years ago.

And it sounds like forced quarantine is an introverts’ dream, right? Staying home? Avoiding people? No gut-wrenching small talk about Cathy’s grandkids in the break room? Yes, yes, yes.

But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies for introverts, since many are now forced into Zoom chats and Google hangouts, which, tbh, can be worse than hearing about Cathy’s grandson riding his bike for the 92nd time as you try to enjoy your lukewarm coffee and bagel sandwich in peace.

And, many introverts are now quarantined with their families who talk and sing and enter their personal space alllllll daaaaaaay looooooong. So yeah, stay at home orders can suck for them too. Plus, a lot of “loners” out there really are lonely, but connecting with the outside world is just too exhausting and causes too much anxiety.

Here are some Scary Mommy readers who opened up in our Confessional about what, exactly, it’s like being an introvert—as a parent, as a “loner,” and as someone now stuck inside with their entire family 24/7 for weeks on end.

I am an introverted SAHM and this being home with the kids thing isn't a lot different than usual for me. DD7 is extremely social and misses being at school and spending time with friends. She was crying at bedtime and I didn't know how to make it better.

Confessional #25773095

DH judges me stayin up after kids asleep. excuse me for NEEDING 2 hrs unwind after day full of being "on" as SAHM introvert. yet he plays vid games 24hrs on off days. but its ok for him cuz "He doesnt have to get up & take care of kids". his words

Confessional #25760544

H is saying that I need more friends. I'm a loner out of choice; I HATE the strings/drama attached to friendships and avoid them like the plague. Scared that I'm setting a bad example for DD5, though... =(

Confessional #1686224

Introvert mom with ds10 + two other preteen boys=craziness

Confessional #13967792

Bonding with an extroverted child is probably the hardest thing I'll ever do as an introvert mom.

Confessional #1771724

Of course, there are definitely introverts out there living their quarantine dreams right now.

I don’t hate the isolation. Got plenty of groceries, bills are paid and I can chill in my jammies all day. I know things are scary, but I am in introvert HEAVEN!!!

Confessional #25772579

I'm an introvert, I don't like people, I have a home gym, a lot of pets and I work from home. I basically spend my whole life in quarantine.

Confessional #25771948

I am such a loner and introvert. I get a subtle thrill jolting through me when I know I can spend even more time at home alone.

Confessional #19862245

People assume I am uncomfortable without friends. But I love being a loner.

Confessional #1632514

Because, in lots of ways, being an introvert kind of rocks.

I’m a happy introvert. Enjoy listening morning show podcasts but there’s so much bashing of loners and comments like “it’s so sad when people eat out alone. It'd be nice if confident introverts were less stigmatized in general society.”

Confessional #25755640

People are fucking exhausting! I'd rather be a loner than try to maintain these friendships!

Confessional #10285876

If H and I ever divorce, I will probably be the loner supplementing love with cats, and lust with sex toys. People are too much work.

Confessional #1745372

I thoroughly enjoy being a loner. I am not depressed, nor do I envy other women with friends. I am my own best friend, and I am perfectly content with that! Always been an introvert, always will be!

Confessional #1539943

But you know what doesn’t mesh will with people who like to be alone? Having their spouses and kids around them all fucking day with their talking and questions and needs.

I'm trying hard to appreciate my family and the time we have together during the COVID-19 crisis but I'm an introvert who needs a lot of quiet time to myself. I spend most of my time wanting to run away.

Confessional #25773713

The quarantine in a tiny house with my two kids and husband has done bad things for my already damaged mental health. I'm an introvert and a loner by nature. This is killing me from the inside.

Confessional #25773584

H went to the bank and grocery store. It's the most privacy I've had in two months, and my solitary introvert soul is so at peace right now. I hope covid ends soon. I do love my H, but his constant male presence is physically and mentally injuring me.

Confessional #25778475

About to have a breakdown. I’m an introvert & H needs constant attention. I told him that I just can’t do it today because there’s nowhere to go for me to cool off since everything is closed, so I asked tone it down. He didn’t take it well.

Confessional #25776206

I'm an introvert and just want the social distancing to end. I need my break from my boyfriend every day when he goes to the gym. Tired of coming home from work and he's here.

Confessional #25776463

And some loners aren’t really alone by choice. They do want human connections, but it’s all too overwhelming, so it’s just easier to do life by themselves.

It’s really lonely being a Loner

Confessional #14861204

I claim to not give a fuck about what others think of me, but it's not true. I really want to be liked and accepted, and only play the indepenent loner to hide my hurt.

Confessional #1613531

I don’t think I was cut out for marriage. I’m a loner and like it that way and DH brings nothing good to my life other than being someone else to cook for and clean up after.

Confessional #24069403

So if you’re an introvert loving every second of forced quarantine, great! Extroverts all over the world envy how much you love this bonkers, unprecedented time. But if you are struggling because your kids ask for snacks every 13 minutes and your spouse wants to do home projects together and your boss wants daily online “check-ins” and you just want to hide in the pantry and cry, that’s okay too. There are lots of us out there, just like you, dreaming of the quiet that will someday return to our introverted lives.