From The Confessional: Mom Rage Is Real

by Karen Johnson

Mom rage is real. We feel it creep up, at our ankles, as we walk through the house and see that everyone has left their shit everywhere. It continues, crawling up our back when we are reminded, again, that our family takes us for granted, knowing that in the end, Mom will do it. Mom will take care of everything. Mom will make sure dinner is made and the uniforms are washed and the computers are charged and the doctor’s appointments are made. Yet no one will see the work we do or say thank you. And before we know it, anger has wrapped its claws around our shoulders, and is now squeezing our throats. And we are raging.

Raging about our intrusive MILs. Raging about dirty socks on the floor in the living room. Raging when our kids say “I just need to beat this level!” for the 900th time. Raging at the endless dirty dishes and endless dirty laundry and endless piles of toys we trip over that no one else seems to see.

We know it’s unhealthy. We know it’s detrimental to our relationships with our kids and our spouse. But sometimes it takes over our bodies and minds and we need to yell it out. And then maybe our family will get off their asses and do more so we won’t rage tomorrow. (Unlikely, but we can hope.)

I can't control my anger. My throat hurts from screaming. I hate myself in the most profound way. I have to do better somehow.

Confessional #25813352

Why have i turned into an angry, bitter, impatient, mother and person? I used to be a good mom and human. Not anymore. I worry for my kids and my husband.

Confessional #25814640

I don't know why I am so angry. I wouldn't want to be married to me.

Confessional #25813121

My second pregnancy has been a physically healthy one, but emotionally it’s been a nightmare. I’m so angry and upset all the time! Been snapping so much at h and dd and crying/yelling over nothing. I hate the person I’ve become.

Confessional #25814438

I am so angry. It isn’t healthy.

Confessional #25810361

We don’t want to be angry, bitter moms. But we also don’t know how to get ahold of it.

I get taken for granted by everyone. I get used and abused and I’m so fed up. Finding it harder and harder to not become angry and bitter.

Confessional #25813780

I’m really sick of taking care of everyone and everything. I’m an angry bitch because of it.

Confessional #25813308

I’m so angry. Sick of doing 100% of child and pet care, 99% of housework and work More than full time while he fucking naps. Yeah I’d like to take a fucking 3 hour nap too but I can’t. Asshole.

Confessional #25813102

I married such a miserable, angry, emotionally abusive, active alcoholic and it's all my fault. missed all the red flags and put up with it for years. he has ripped me down and robbed me of peace and comfort in my old age... rage

Confessional #25810874

We feel taken for granted, burnt out, and unappreciated. If there was ever a recipe for anger, it’s that.

So tired of crying being angry and being let down. He’s broken me with his bullshit. Can’t do this anymore

Confessional #25813983

I'm really sad about the way my parents handled my divorce. I didn't need their help, but I really could've used their friendship and support. Unfortunately, they were too busy being angry at my exH to be kind to me.

Confessional #25809545

I used to trust people. A lot of people took advantage of me. A lot. I get so angry now when I feel like someone is trying to use me. My husband and in-laws do it to me now and that's devastating to me.

Confessional #25810885

Our anger comes from a place of hurt, from having our hearts broken, from our family and friends letting us down and taking advantage of us.

DS (ASD) put my phone in the sink. Covid spared me for this shit?? I wanna cry but I'm just so angry and numb. I hate this and myself

Confessional #25812515

I’m getting so frustrated with my 6 month old’s need for constant attention. I did not feel this way with her older brother. I feel like a total ass for being angry at a baby. I need a break.

Confessional #25811318

I'm burnt out being trapped in the house with my bratty kids, but I've turned angry in the last few days. It was the riots that set me off. Same goddamn attitude of entitlement. Give you everything and you scream and yell and act like savages? DONE!

Confessional #25814417

I truly feel lied to about the realities of motherhood and parenting. I feel like I was sold a fairytale. I’m so angry at myself and society for doing this

Confessional #25810207

The truth is, motherhood is fucking hard and makes us angry. We try so damn hard for these people and feel like failures anyway. The exhaustion of it all can make us feel irritation that eventually turns into fury.

So if you feel regular mom-rage, you are not alone. But you should think about the root cause and see if you could do something to help your anger. Can you communicate with your family and express your needs? Can you try some meditation or taking a quiet minute for yourself to take deep breaths or going for a walk to cool down?

None of us want our kids to grow up remembering an angry mother. But dammit, this shit is hard AF, and there are days we just can’t help it. Running ourselves ragged while feeling completely invisible to the people we are doing it all for can be rage-inducing, so we get it. Your family deserves happiness and joy, though. And you know what, moms? YOU deserve happiness and joy. So make 2021 the year you find it.