From The Confessional: This Christmas....IDGAF

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
Christina Reichl Photography/Getty

Truth time. Some of us (a lot of us) just aren’t feeling it this year. And by “it” we mean all that merry Christmas spirit. The joy, the excitement, the desire to bake cookies and decorate the tree and listen to Christmas carols and wrap presents all night long. Maybe it’s COVID and 900 months of virtual school. Maybe it’s the depressing state of our drained bank accounts. Maybe it’s the despair in realizing how many assholes out there still refuse to wear masks and do their part to stop the spread. Maybe it’s the mourning of loved ones we’ve lost or worrying about our friends and family who are fighting this terrible illness.

For lots of reasons, we’re feeling extra Grinch-y as we round out the nightmarish year that has been 2020. We don’t feel merry. We feel pissed. We don’t have the Christmas spirit. We have the “can I take a three-month nap and wake up when there’s a vaccine” spirit. We don’t care if the tree gets decorated or the lights go up or the cookies get made.

And it sucks, because we need joy more than ever. So here’s the deal—we’ve got a few days left to dig deep and find our tiny beating hearts again. The Grinch did it, and so can we. 2020 is almost over, so hang in there, maybe play a carol to two, hang a wreath, wrap some funny holiday socks for your kids and put them under the tree, and find that Christmas spirit. It’s still there. We promise.

I can't handle Christmas this year. I can't put the tree up. I can't decorate. Fuck this year. I just wanna drink and enjoy my kids. Screw the presents.

Confessional #25809712

3 boys under 10 all the end of the day I just want to sit in silence because I don't get ONE SECOND. Not excited one bit for Christmas. Just want to sleep in and be left alone. Kids can open presents while I sleep.

Confessional #25809299

Doing all the Christmas things with my kids today. They’re so excited, I feel nothing. Dead inside.

Confessional #25809716

I wish we could just skip Christmas this year.I am not feeling it, it's just another thing I have to do, on top of trying to help the kids finish this semester of online school.You just want to give everyone the money and tell them to figure it the f out.

Confessional #25809691

Christmas carolers showed up on my doorstep tonight and I froze. Couldn't figure out if I was allowed to open the door. Never did open it and feel terrible. Stupid covid.

Confessional #25809609

COVID-19 has taken a lot from us, and we understand if you’re too tired to do all the holiday things this year. You don’t have to bake all the cookies you normally bake or buy gifts for every neighbor and every aunt and uncle like in years past. Cut yourself some slack, pack up the fam in warm PJs, drive around and look at lights, and maybe make some hot cocoa. Boom. Christmas spirit. Done.

I dread buying g presents for my husband. He is never satisfied!

Confessional #25809499

DH sent me a pic of a hair tool I wanted to buy for Black Friday. I was so excited he remembered. He didn’t get it though..he never gets me anything for Christmas/bday. I watch my family open presents & every year there is nothing for me. I hate it.

Confessional #25808103

As ever, bought my own birthday presents and cards. Same for Christmas, anniversary, Mother's Day, etc. I don't want to enable H's lousy behaviour but if I don't take care of me, I get nothing.

Confessional #25792152

My H gave me money to buy my Christmas presents. He has a credit card I dont understand why he didn't just buy them himself. I will have nothing to open for Christmas

Confessional #25762510

Ugh, there’s nothing worse than feeling unappreciated by a shitty spouse on Christmas. Why, year after year, don’t they get it?

I’m so sad, I’am the only one working in my house on min wage and can’t afford Xmas presents for my kids this year...Santa can’t come this year, mommy is so sorry babies.

Confessional #25808941

Oh yay, we open presents tomorrow. I can hardly wait for the disappointment because I didn’t have the money for much. Pj pants, slippers, and sheets. Being poor is so heartbreaking.

Confessional #25762464

The only way I could get any Christmas presents for my kids was the skip my student loan payment for December. Which I did.

Confessional #25762360

I took money out of my Mutual funds to by Christmas Presents for myself mostly.....I got a few things for my kids and husband but mostly all new gear for my self so don’t look like the broke ass loser I feel like....

Confessional #25761235

Some of us have less funds than ever thanks to this pandemic. Trying to make Christmas special when you don’t have money can really break a parent’s spirit. Just remember, as long as your kids feel loved on Christmas morning, you’ve done your job. And you don’t need to spend a lot of money to do so.

Well, today I had an actual breakdown due to Christmas stress. I left home and parked in an empty lot, and sobbed for 2 hours. If only they knew or understood everything I do to put presents under the tree. Maybe they would treat me like a human being.

Confessional #25761330

Got home from doing all the shopping for Christmas presents for the kids & H. Came home to H playing video games and the house trashed from the kids. Want to bring it all back. This is bullshit.

Confessional #25760933

I’m sick of spending hundreds on Christmas presents every year that my kids play with for a week and then shove in the closet and end up donated

Confessional #25804888

If teen DC don't set up the Christmas tree this year, then it's not happening. I work FT + do all of the things. I really don't care if we celebrate this fucking holiday or not.

Confessional #25809375

Going back through years of pictures to make a photo book as a Christmas gift. Now I'm ragey. It's clear that I do all the work to make things happen and these selfish, entitled fools won't even cooperate for pictures. Fuck it! I want to cancel Christmas!

Confessional #25809905

One of the hardest parts of the holiday season is running ourselves into the ground trying to make all the magic happen and having no one appreciate it. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. We are right there with you and we see how hard you’re working.

My Mom says she doesn't have any money for Christmas but she just bought birthday presents and cake, ice cream and cookies for her DOG

Confessional #25801674

H invited PIL to watch kids open presents Christmas morning. Apparently I'm mean to want to enjoy it without waiting for them to drag their fat arses out of bed to make judgemental comments on every gift. Why can't they allow me one single thing to enjoy?

Confessional #25762234

I fucking hate Christmas and all the immature adults who get illogically emotional about presents and decorations and traditions.

Confessional #25809588

My mil brings ugly Christmas decorations over without asking and just starts putting them up without asking. I find that rude and controlling. I can only imagine how she would take it if I did that to her. I'm going to burn her ugly decorations.

Confessional #25809734

Sometimes it’s other adults who really bring out our inner Grinch. The in-laws need to back TF up and let us do Christmas our way or else we’ll do the holidays without them (which sounds dreamy TBH).

So listen, if you’re feeling less “Ho, ho, ho!” and more “I’m a mean one, Mommy Grinch” this year, it’s understandable. 2020 has sucked out all we have to give, and many of us don’t want to bake reindeer cookies or stuff stockings. We want a fucking nap.

Just remember, to make Christmas special, you don’t have to run yourself ragged. You don’t have to buy your kids an Xbox or a trip to Disney. And you don’t have to take a picture of everyone in fancy clothes with smiles on their faces. If the pile looks a little bare this year, or if you all stay in your PJs all day and don’t take a frame-worthy family pic, or if you eat chicken nuggets and pancakes for dinner, that’s okay. It’s been a grueling year. Cut yourself some slack, dial down the expectations, and play a little “Jingle Bells” in the background once in a while. You might find you’ve got some Christmas spirit still stored up that you can still use after all.

Above all else, make sure you get that nap in. You deserve it.

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