From The Confessional: Unfollowing Toxic People In Your Life

by Karen Johnson
Scary Mommy and Francesco Carta fotografo/Getty

If there was ever a year to truly cut ties, unfollow, or simply just remove toxic people from your life, it’s 2021. After everything we’ve been through over the past year, I, for one, am far too tired to give any of my last remaining drops of energy to negative people or people who make me feel badly about myself. That bullshit is not something I’m bringing with me into this year.

So if that means unfollow, or block, or ghost their texts that ask something of me I am not willing to give, so be it. And let me tell you… it feels fucking amazing to cut that shit OUT of my life.

And apparently, according to our confessional, lots of Scary Mommies are doing the same, because their mental health and wellbeing are worth it.

I damaged my relationship with my bff 15 years ago and I don't regret it. I hope she has let it go, for her mental health, and I don't care if she ever forgives me, but I'm glad she's gone. My life is better without having to chase her for friendship.

Confessional #25821026

I had a BFF from whom I’m now estranged. She was the best friend I’ve EVER had and I will never have one like her ever again. I mourn that loss almost daily. She fucked it up and it’s irreparable .

Confessional #25820843

My BFF fucked up. If she even bothered to call or text or message me, I would forgive her in a heartbeat. She thinks I’m the one that fucked up though. Her friendship was my greatest joy, but I didn’t want her toxic dh around my kids. I miss you everyday.

Confessional #25820897

I cut out all my toxic..drama queen..draining as fuck friends. I hate feeling so drained after hanging out with them. We’re in our 50’s and 60’s but they behave like high school girls. Plastic mean girls never outgrow it!

Confessional #25818602

Sometimes friendships are just done. Even BFFs. Maybe you thought she was your ride or die for life, but she hurt you beyond repair, and it will never be the same now. So let it go, make your peace with it, and fill your cup with things that bring you joy instead.

I wish my sister would just divorce her husband already so I can stop being "friends" with him on facebook entirely. It's not enough to unfollow him. I want no connection. I loathe him that much.

Confessional #25820951

Really want to unfriend a frenemy on Facebook, but a little afraid I unfollowed her instead, and avoid her at all costs. I even avoid driving down the street she lives on, even though it is the faster route to school.

Confessional #21557348

Facebook has actually become enjoyable since I unfollowed every single person on my "friends" list. Now my newsfeed is nothing but posts from the cool, funny groups I'm in. No more ignorant, racist rants from my redneck, asshole peers to ruin my mood!

Confessional #16769689

Seriously, it’s time to cut all the assholes out of our life. Show them the door (even if it’s the door to your social media), let it slam shut, then move on.

The more I try to grow and better myself the more I realise how toxic most people are. I'd rather have no friends then the kind of friends that try to keep you stuck in misery and shit with them.

Confessional #25815434

I had to unfollow a girl I used to babysit who at 24 did modeling, AND has an amazing high-power career, AND became an influencer just by talking about her life. It reminded me I am a 35yo broke mess. How pathetic.

Confessional #25815042

I will unfollow and sometimes unfriend people on FB if they are always posting about their perfect kids, perfect house, fabulous vacations. I can't stand the amount of jealousy and sadness I feel. I can't even pay my bills...

Confessional #5800654

Had to I unfollow all my pregnant friends on Social media. So painful to watch them have what I can’t. I should be happy for them but right now i can’t...

Confessional #16829866

Sometimes you need to unfollow or have some distance from those who make you feel badly about yourself. Even if they haven’t *technically* done anything wrong. That’s just the way it is, and part of your own self-care is removing toxicity in all forms.

I unfollowed my sister on FB because she posts pictures of her weight loss several time a day, every day. Bikinis, half-dressed, shimmying around. Sure, a few pics are fine, but the constant sharing of posed pictures is getting old.

Confessional #19029325

So far today I’ve unfollowed 2 people who say that Trump will single handily end COVID and that all of this will end when the world turns to God. Sorry, science takes precedence over imagination

Confessional #25772616

Unfollowed my MLM bossbabe neighbor on FB. Now's she's texting me. I don't want your ugly overpriced shit! Leave me alone!

Confessional #21489872

Had to unfollow a friend on FB today. I made an innocent statement, she thinks it's about her, it's not. I can't take the unnecessary drama.

Confessional #25776808

And oftentimes, it’s not that the people you’re cutting out are cruel, horrible dick-wads. It’s just that they’re annoying AF. They’re always trying to sell you something. They don’t listen to science. Or they create drama with every step they take. It’s exhausting having them in your life, so they gotta go.

Let 2021 be the year you clean house. And by “house,” we mean your friends list—like literally, and on social media. Give yourself, your time, and your energy to relationships that give back to you, fulfill you, and make you appreciate others and yourself. Anyone who drains you too much or makes you feel unhealthy gets blocked. Blocked from your IG feed. Blocked from your texts. And blocked from your thoughts and your life altogether.

Let this be one way you practice self-care this year. Start by saying these two words: “buh-bye.”