If there was one aspect of motherhood that I was drastically underprepared for, it was the lack of quiet and solitude. Even though I was a high school teacher prior to having kids, which meant I was used to lots of noise and sensory overload during my work day, nothing could have prepared for the noise level that three kids in five years was going to bring. Because the thing is, my job ended at some point every day. I went home to a quiet apartment. I had personal space. I could read or watch grownup TV or go for a run or cook dinner without tiny humans clinging to my ankles.
Then the pandemic hit. And moms whose greatest fantasy had become a quiet house where nothing moved and no one said “Mom” for an entire day were now trapped in the house 24/7 with all the kids and even possibly the spouse. The kids go to school at the kitchen table, the adults try to maintain an income from the living room couch, and Mom is managing 94 chaotic balls in the air at all times.
So yeah, now, more than ever, we are in desperate need for alone time and some quiet. Not like “the kids are in the other room not bothering us for 15 minutes.” We need an entire day—a week even—of literal solitude, personal space, and complete, and utter silence. Well, that’s what I need anyway. I don’t need a vacation. I just need them all to go on a vacation.
Confessional #25816050“Why can't I concentrate?! Oh yeah because my kids (whom I love dearly) will not stop humming, talking, yelling, crying, screaming, fighting. Please, just BE QUIET!”
Confessional #25804097“I know it's been said thousands of times already, but I feel so awful when I do nothing with my kid all day (except the basics like feeding, hugs, and little check ins) I just wanna stare at a wall and have her STFU and stay still for hours”
Confessional #25798794“I love my kids, but the non-stop chattering, comments, questions, talking, and screaming makes me insane. They never STFU.”
Confessional #25810897“I need these kids to stop talking to me and making noise. Go read a book quietly, or color, or nap. I don't care, just be silent.”
Dear sweet cherub children, we love you so. But for the love of God, please STFU or our heads are going to explode.
Confessional #25822880“just want to go to a quiet bed and breakfast alone and order all meals room service, sleep when i want. soak in the tub when i want w/o people telling me they need meals/clothes.”
Confessional #25811985“I sometimes leave my daughter soaking and playing in the bath tub for an hour just to get a little peace and quiet to myself.”
Confessional #25825281“I’m exhausted with being a boy mom during this pandemic. Every fucking day there is a new injury, all of which I’m considered crazy for being concerned about. I’m just not cut out for all this physical energy. I’m like can we read a book quietly?!”
Confessional #25816299“I am so sick of constant noise. Kids shrieking and running, dogs barking, husband chewing food and talking on phone, TV and appliances in background, ALL of it. I really miss my nice quiet house. Damn you COVID”
And the pandemic has only intensified our need for peace and quiet by like 1000. OMG the constant noise and invasion of personal space has drained every last ounce of patience from our souls.
Confessional #25809960“Dh was wfh way before the pandemic (so annoying). Now I fear he'll never go back. I worked my ass off 8 years as a sahm, earned my quiet house time, and now it's fucked. Goddamnit!”
Confessional #25822342“DH works in the office 3 days a week, from home 2. Is it terrible that I look forward to the days he's in the office with wild joy? I want him to be happy (he loves working from home), but I also love my space, privacy, and quiet.”
Confessional #25812301“If my husband asks "are you ok?" one more fucking time I'm going to punch him in the dick. I'm FINE. I'm just quiet. I'm sorry I don't feel the need to fill every silence with inane chatter. Please just go back to work, this WFH shit is killing me.”
And we really need our partners to go back to work. Like really really.
Confessional #25817485“DH went to bed, I told him I needed some quiet time. He goes to bed & DD comes down and won’t stop talking!! This mama needs some peace & quiet!!!”
Confessional #25813713“Every night, I say I’ll go to sleep by 11pm and then DC and DH all go to sleep and I FINALLY have some peace, quiet and time ALONE. No one needs anything from me. Except me.”
Confessional #25816924“I’m not really a morning person. I wake up at 5:00 every day just to drink my coffee in peace and quiet and read whatever the hell I want on the internet without judgement. Tired of my nosy ass kids and husband being around 24/7.”
We can at least hope for some quiet alone time early in the morning or late at night. But sometimes they even interrupt that.
Confessional #25819639“I long for Mondays. DH & kids out of house can watch my shows, enjoy quiet, do things for myself. Alone I'm with the only person who respects me & what I want & doesn't treat me like a 24/7 maid.”
Confessional #25816983“I fantasize about living by myself where nothing moves in my house but me. Not even pets. Where it’s quiet and smells pretty instead of gym socks and wet dog. Where I can let out my inner minimalist, do my own thing with no distractions. Oh, how I wish.”
Confessional #25822347“I love quiet and silence and solitude. Tell me again, why the fuck did I decide to have kids?”
You know you’re a mom who paid her dues as a SAHM and has now been pandemic-ing for a year when your greatest fantasy is being locked in a room by yourself. Like any room, anywhere.
Listen, fam. We love you. We appreciate you. We’ve loved all the quality time over the past year. But once this shit is over we’re gonna need you to all go somewhere fun and conveniently forget Mom at home for a week. Or maybe Mom will just drive to a cabin in the woods where no one can find her and she can finally read a book in sweet solitude. But somehow, we need to finally get peace, quiet, and a little personal space to refill the cup that has been drained dry for a year so we can return to you all rejuvenated and ready to face the noise again.