The Inevitable Stages of a Frozen Obsession

by Annie Reneau
Originally Published: 

Are your children Frozen obsessed? Of course they are. Obviously. Welcome to the inevitable stages of a Frozen obsession.

Stage 1

Oh my goodness, WHAT AN AMAZING MOVIE!! The strong female characters, OLAF (ha ha!), the gorgeous snow and ice, the TRUE LOVE of a SISTER (sniff sniff), and OH, the MUSIC! It’s just SO GOOD! Yay Disney!Stage 2Let it gooooo, let it goooooo, can’t hold it back anymoooore!” (Sigh) Don’t you just LOVE Idina Menzel?Stage 3Do you wanna build a snoooowmaaaan? It doesn’t have to be a snooowmaaaan. Okay, byyyyyye.” (Sniff) That part gets me every time.Stage 4Sure, kids! Let’s buy the DVD. And the soundtrack. It’s only like THE best Disney movie EVER MADE!Stage 5Oh, how cute! The kids have all of the songs memorized!Stage 6Oh, how cute! They’re belting out “Let it Go” all day!Stage 7Wow. They’re really belting out “Let it Go” ALL DAY LONG.Stage 8 GOOD LORD, THEY’RE BELTING OUT “LET IT GOALL. FREAKING. DAY. LONG.Stage 9Please. Please, let it go, kids. For real. LET IT GO.Stage 10 Holy cow, now it’s all over Facebook. I have to hear other people’s kids singing it, too? Exactly how many times does it take for one song to qualify as torture?Stage 11I’m hearing it in my dreams now. In my dreams. Every night.Stage 12OMIGOD, KIDS. IF YOU DON’T STOP SINGING, I’M GOING TO LET YOU GO.Stage 13Disney is the devil and Idina Menzel is Satan spawn.Stage 14What, kids? No, I have NO IDEA what happened to the DVD and the soundtrack. Maybe you lost them. Maybe the big snow monster ate them. OR MAYBE YOU WORE THEM DOWN SO MUCH THEY HAD NO WILL TO CONTINUE EXISTING. Stage 15Yes, I know you’re just devastated, kids. Yes, I understand you can’t “let it go.” Wow, you’re THAT upset, huh? Well . . . I just have one thing to say: “Let the stoooorm raaaage ooooooooon. The cold never bothered me anyway.

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