The Funny Parents Of Twitter Are So Ready For School To Start Again

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. No, it’s not Christmas. It’s not Mother’s Day. It’s not Amazon Prime Day. It’s better than all of those magical days combined.

Back. To. School.

While summer brings with it a lack of homework and obligations, it also has its own set of difficulties. Namely, hearing your kids say “we’re bored” every half hour or so for over two months and finding wet towels and bathing suits all over the house. By the time the new school year comes around, most parents are shouting for joy, including the funny parents of Twitter.

1. Be sensitive.

Us northerners didn’t rub it in when we got to keep our kids in school through late June, did we? OK. Maybe some of us did. Carry on.

2. Time to panic.

We send our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

3. Truth.

No more screen time guilt? No more popsicle wrappers literally everywhere? No more complaints of “I’m bored?” Damn right, we’re crying tears of joy.

4. All worth it.

I do a little jig with every package of new socks and pair of jeans that will sprout a knee hole within a month that I toss into my Target cart.

5. A treasure trove.

Remember those brand-new underwear you bought at the end of last school year instead of catching up on laundry? Your kid kicked them under the bed and you forgot about them — until now.

6. Almost. There.

Not that we’re keeping track or anything. Just one calendar to X out each day. A few phone alarms. Nothing crazy.

7. Pretty much.

When my first kid started kindergarten, I cried tears of sorrow every day for two weeks. When she starts fifth grade in a few weeks, I will throw a party the moment the bus pulls away.

8. So much vodka.

Keep teachers in your thoughts, y’all. It’s going to be rough.

9. Victory.

Made it through another summer and everyone’s alive. Chalk that up as a win.

10. Oh happy day.

Yes. Yes it is.

Happy Back-To-School, parents!

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