The Funny Parents Of Twitter On Why Your House Will Never Be Clean Again

by Valerie Williams

Cleaning has never been fun but add kids to the mix, and everyday chores go from grueling to grueling plus, pointless. And soul-sucking.

Because for everything you pick up, your kids will put something down. A lot of somethings. No matter how hard you try, they’ll be right behind you undoing all your hard work and giving you even more. Clean a toilet? They’ll do a life-changing poop minutes later. Wipe up the table? Time to squirt a Capri Sun all over it! Folded laundry in a neat pile? Guess again. Lucky for us, the funny parents of Twitter understand the pain of trying to keep a house tidy while living with kids.

1. Same.

The definition of insanity? Parents cleaning the house and expecting it to stay that way.

2. Help, we’re sinking.

There’s no bailing out of this damn mess, ya’ll. It’s self-replicating.

3. SO FUN.

Isn’t it adorable how kids think cleaning is one big game of playing with Swiffer cloths and sweeping like Cinderella? No. It’s actually not. It’s infuriating.

4. Accurate.

The giant pile gets folded and put away and it’s literally back the next day. What evil wizardry is this.

5. Sophie’s choice.

You want to be left alone to watch an episode of “Chopped?” Hope you feel like cleaning 1,000 q-tips up off the bathroom floor when you’re done.

6. Sounds reasonable.

We can rebuild. It’s the only way.

7. Seriously.

We all need to know.

8. Maybe one more day?

If you need to impress your mother-in-law with a clean house, this is basically the only way to achieve it. Just toss them Goldfish crackers every 20 minutes. They’re fine.

9. Do it on the hardwoods, at least.

Once it’s clean, a mom makes sure it stays clean. At all costs.

10. Messes multiplying like bunnies.

Your kid makes a mess. Your other kid makes a mess. The mess makes a mess. The messes are sentient. Run.

11. Whoa.

If this is true, it might be the necessary motivation to get me to actually fold all the laundry.

12. Always go with cash.

Happy futile cleaning, parents!