The Funny Parents Of Twitter On Why Snow Days Are The Worst Days

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 

Snow days are one of those things that should be fun in theory, but are actually pretty much horrible. Sure, there’s the handful of moms on Facebook making the gooey status updates about the magic of snowflakes and hot cocoa and cuddle time on the couch, but they’re lying. Well, at the very least, they’re leaving stuff out.

They’re leaving out how sometimes, a snow day means it’s too cold to even go outside so instead, your kids make it their mission to destroy the entire house and make you insane. They’re forgetting how you’ll get your children all bundled up, which takes approximately six hours, only to have them whine that they’re bored after five minutes of half-hearted shuffling around the backyard. They’re forgetting to mention how after the third day off in a row due to a huge storm, you’re ready to run away from home. Literally. But the funny parents of Twitter remember, and they’re here in solidarity. Because snow days can be sweet and cute, but they can also fucking suck.

1. Such fun.

Olaf is melting? Maybe he needs some of Mommy’s special snow day vodka to cheer him up.

2. Reality check? Check.

There’s a reason adults mostly don’t play on a snowy hillside. That reason would be herniated discs.

3. The worst.

Dinnertime will feel like midnight not because winter means the sun sets earlier, but because you’ll have spent 15 consecutive, waking hours with your kids and will be ready to run away from home.

4. Accurate.

Oh, and they’ll also have to pee.

5. Worth the jail time.

Can’t we bring the kids to school with dog sleds? It’s 2017, let’s work this out. There has to be a (non-murder) way to make this happen.

6. Beauty can be deceiving.

It looks so innocent and idyllic, like a Norman Rockwell painting. Except in those paintings you can’t hear the whining, bored, stir-crazy children who’ve run out of episodes of Octonauts and are threatening to riot.

7. It’s science.

School could start at 4 pm and we’d be running out the door at 3:56 screaming about a lost sneaker and shrieking over who still needs to pack their snack. We are moms. Hear us roar.

8. Repeat snow days are the work of Satan.

The only thing worse than one snow day is two. Or three. Shudder.

9. Meh.

60 degrees in upstate New York in February? It’s fine. It’s all fine.

10. Touche.

OK, so it’s not all bad.

11. Definitely both.

Some moms try to avoid video games on snow days? Huh. Interesting approach. I try to avoid ending up on the evening news, so the PS4 is turned on at 5:30 am and stays on until I’ve had six coffees. Come at me.

12. Funny how that works.

Pretty much.

Good luck out there, parents!

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